Fed up with neighbours

[Homeontherangeuk]

Bit of a back story, we live in a new development... Here 6 years, we signed a clause to say we wouldn't change door colour, fence height etc... However neighbour has raised the shared boundary fence to 2.5m (terrace house) & its so ugly.. We told them we hate it & they flipped.. We told them its too high, werw told fuck off, now anytime we try to use our garden they play banging house music... Today they put the speakers on full blast & have gone out for the day.. Beautiful day but my kids can't enjoy the sun... I'm at my wits end, hubby is sick of the childish antics.... Last night I was sitting out reading my book quietly with a glass of wine, at 10 ó clock I was drenched by a hose over the fence... They claimed it was their 2 year old when hubby rang in a fit.. No way would a 2 year old have the motor skills to control a hose, drench me, our patio & proceed to drench the clothes line... Bawling here, our dream home is turning into a nightmare... What can we do? They have blocked us from messaging, hung up on DH, blank us... Our home is in such an ideal location, we don't want to or aren't in the position to sell...
No cctv so can't prove who drenched me... DH was working last night, I felt very shaken & worried afterwards but held my ground & stayed out listening to them bitching about us... Before the fence we had a great relationship with them.... I regret saying anything now...

The speaker is seriously twatty of them. I would video the speaker each time it happens and report to the councils pollution team. See if you can get other neighbours to do the same.

They sound like imbiciles so would also be inclined to play some classical at 6am to get my own back.

You sound like a better person than I am but I would play them at their own game, only bigger and better.

Well if your child accidentally Sprayed the hose over when the speaker was out it would break it wouldn’t it?

@ChikiTIKI

How about "when does DJ Bellend start his set again? I heard its gonna be a great one today!"

Omg this is gold🥰 thanks for the giggle!

Stand up to them - bullies normally back down when confronted. Make noise when they are relaxing, annoy them. I know you say you don’t like to be confrontational but sometimes you need to stand up for yourself for people to see that you won’t take their shit. It cant get much worse than what you are describing anyway. Next time the music is on turn it off and when the ask why tell them you are fucking sick of their selfish behaviour and won’t be standing for it anyway. I’m fuming for you

Bach's Toccata and Fugue played at top volume at 6 o'clock in the morning might do the trick. It did for me. Or they might enjoy it.

We had a horrible neighbour like this opposite. I was far enough away to avoid most bullshit but the poor attached neighbours were not. They did go to police and I think they served an ASBO or restraining order. An officer banged on my door once collecting evidence.
Nice neighbours sold house.
Miracle then happened, nasty lady neighbour went all nice. She spoke to me pleasantly for first time in 15 years. My theory was due to a baby being born into their house (grandchild). My other neighbour thought maybe she has a personality disorder.

Definitely get the music reported to environmental health. The fence to the estate management and planning enforcement. As a community police officer to visit you. Log on the non urgent number. Where I live they follow up pretty quick.

The bad part of me wants to suggest putting stuff up to block their light. That’s what they were worried about and you made sure you didn’t affect them, but they don’t seem to care.

Fast growing bamboo in pots along the fence line (will also hide the fence and not be attached to it), a great big sun sail, etc.

I hope you manage to sort it out, whatever route you choose.

@WhenwillSleephappen

The bad part of me wants to suggest putting stuff up to block their light. That’s what they were worried about and you made sure you didn’t affect them, but they don’t seem to care.

Fast growing bamboo in pots along the fence line (will also hide the fence and not be attached to it), a great big sun sail, etc.

I hope you manage to sort it out, whatever route you choose.

*Don’t seem to care about you

Can you move where you sit in the garden so nobody can “accidentally spray you? Or get an umbrella style thing up to cover you? I would completely ignore them and make noise myself. You just would need to be careful it won’t disturb your other neighbours really!!!

Don't engage with them - don't make sarcastic comments over the fence etc. You need to be innocent of all offence if you end up with the police.

Thanks for the kind messages 🥰 well sitting out with my book now & a glass of vino... The music is off & they're not out....yet!

I would have your phone on record before you go into the garden & record what happens, do it a 3 times or more & have clear evidence they only play music when you go into the garden then go to the Council noise team & the Police for harassment

Oh ffs this is a matter for the local authority and environmental issues. They can not go out leaving loud music blaring for hours! I know you’re upset but you are bein such doormats. Beyond feeble. There is a legal process to follow. Use it. They have broken the clause about the fence and the council / police will take action against them about the noise. You are going to have to man up and deal with this.

I know you're both right, this is something we need to tackle, it's so distressing & awful.
Dds lovely little friend is coming for a playdate tomorrow & I won't be leaving them out in the garden for fear of what might transpire...they can play inside & I'll bring them to the park.. I just don't want any negativity surrounding the dc & their little friends....

Have you spoken to them to say you would rather live in harmony? Ask them What will it take for that to happen?

I would say take up your space and be seen in it, so be in your garden.
If they feel that they can bully you to stay indoors, then they will take it as a green light to continue.

In your circumstances I tend to have success inviting different friends and vehicles around all at different times, just people popping in and out on errands, but I keep my visitors here “chatting” for a while - just to be “seen”...and positively taking up “my own space” - as a way of reinforcing my place.

Get yourself to B&Q and buy four or five of their plastic Bell pots. Decent size ones are about a fiver a piece.
Then go to your local independent garden center and choose some bamboo. Do haggle, you will usually get a discount. Put the bamboo into the bell pots and line up along the fence.

Around February time buy yourself a few more Bell pots, up end your existing pots and halve the bamboo you have with a saw through the roots. Repot.

You've now got a nice high, instant screen which you can move along the fence line to suit your needs. Bamboo is wonderful for situations like this. It's tall, overs privacy and to some extent noise baffling. It also filters the sun through beautifully. Just never plant running bamboo in the ground.

Personally I'd be doing this and reclaiming my garden.

I can't imagine living in a situation like this.

you say you love your home and don't want to move, so I guess your neighbours appalling behaviour isn't as much of a big deal to you as it would be to me.

I would absolutely move.

You sound like a really lovely woman and sadly they’re walking all over you. I’d be very tempted to call the police and log it as threatening behaviour. Keep doing it every time. Don’t be fobbed off if they try and direct you to environmental health. Keep using your garden.

Keep sitting out, act like you don't give a shit, use headphones if necessary they'll get bored eventually. It's bullying behaviour which they know works because you keep going in when they turn it up, it's like Pavlov's dog to them. They're training you!

If they keep leaving music whilst house is empty report to council, it's noise nuisance and antisocial behaviour and must annoy others too.

You always try a bit of "watering" with your own hose, it'd be such a shame if it accidentally splashed the speaker...

Off to bed but just want to sign off by saying thanks to every single one of you who commented. All the advice has been so constructive & very much appreciated, DH has actually read the thread too & is feeling slightly better that others have been in the same boat too. He is a bit 👀 at being called a vandal but a few glasses of vino sorted it out & he's glad I ignored it.
I'll check back tomorrow if there are any further updates.
They never came out tonight, even though they were home, no music either & DH & I actually enjoyed a lovely evening... Maybe our silent, steely deamenor is starting to intimate them☺️

You should have got the deeds out when the fence went up and acted asap. No offence but you are pussy footing around here. My neighbours tried this sort of thing with us. Every time I reported them to the community council, council and the police and everywhere else I could. A picture starts to build pretty quickly. I don't care if people think I am being dramatic, it's all been logged. I act like my neighbours don't exist. I look right past them. They never got a reaction. But they did get spoken to by the police and the council. My neighbour intimidates everyone else but he runs away when I'm approaching. The street think I'm a bitch but I no longer have to put up with him damaging my property, music playing all night, bullying or abuse when I'm in the garden. We spent a glorious lockdown in our gardens silently, not acknowledging the other one.

100% agree with you @Icecreamwafer, no point in messing around, they know exactly what they are doing and if I piss people like that off, I don't care

Invite your friends over just before it’s time for them to return, get drunk, put your shades on and start dancing (wildly like you’re on drugs) to the trance music going woop woop woop continuously.
That’ll annoy them.
If they turn it off just put your own, even louder, music on.