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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up with neighbours

250 replies

Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 15:14

Bit of a back story, we live in a new development... Here 6 years, we signed a clause to say we wouldn't change door colour, fence height etc... However neighbour has raised the shared boundary fence to 2.5m (terrace house) & its so ugly.. We told them we hate it & they flipped.. We told them its too high, werw told fuck off, now anytime we try to use our garden they play banging house music... Today they put the speakers on full blast & have gone out for the day.. Beautiful day but my kids can't enjoy the sun... I'm at my wits end, hubby is sick of the childish antics.... Last night I was sitting out reading my book quietly with a glass of wine, at 10 ó clock I was drenched by a hose over the fence... They claimed it was their 2 year old when hubby rang in a fit.. No way would a 2 year old have the motor skills to control a hose, drench me, our patio & proceed to drench the clothes line... Bawling here, our dream home is turning into a nightmare... What can we do? They have blocked us from messaging, hung up on DH, blank us... Our home is in such an ideal location, we don't want to or aren't in the position to sell...
No cctv so can't prove who drenched me... DH was working last night, I felt very shaken & worried afterwards but held my ground & stayed out listening to them bitching about us... Before the fence we had a great relationship with them.... I regret saying anything now...

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 27/08/2021 18:07

How awful. This is clearly targetted harassment.

You could log it all and report it to environmental health and the police. The good news is that noise of that level is undisputed.

But I found our council absolutely useless. They sent a letter. Which was ignored.

I dont understand people like this. They must have so little in their lives to get off on bullying the neighbors. We all just want to get on with our own lives.

I would be tempted to shout at them each and every time.

For my health we sold up at a loss and left. I still haven't fully recovered.

LaBellina · 27/08/2021 18:08

They might use that as proof against you.
Never wrestle with pigs, you get all muddy and the pig loves it. They’ll only see it as an encouragement to find new ways of harassing you. Think about the long run, either try to involve the police / build a legal case against them or sell your home. The latter was what we did eventually. It felt initially like we lost but I realized they have to have a very miserable life to behave like this and after we moved they were still stuck with themselves.

Wroxie · 27/08/2021 18:09

If you report it to the police or the council you'll have to tell your buyers about it when you sell. Just something to remember.

fluffedup · 27/08/2021 18:10

When they see you in the garden, and they put the loud music on, how long does it stay on for? Until you go inside?

I'm just thinking that maybe you could get some good noise-cancelling headphones then go in the garden and stay there for a long time. So the loud music would be on for a long time, which would annoy other neighbours and would force the issue - the other neighbours would definitely complain if it went on long enough.

And get the cctv put up first, then if they spray you or do anything else visible because the music hasn't driven you back inside, it's on camera.

SkiingIsHeaven · 27/08/2021 18:11

Can your 2 year old drench the speakers?

Joking obviously.

JacquelineCarlyle · 27/08/2021 18:11

Great idea about the headphones @fluffedup

ImitationofBeing · 27/08/2021 18:13

They sound horrific.
It's so stressful having nightmare neighbours, cannot escape the bastards.

Keep a diary and get CCTV (though the fuckers are likely to try and damage it)

LakieLady · 27/08/2021 18:16

Keep a note of the date and approximate times the music was playing and do the same with all future incidents of noise. When you have a few incidents, report to the council's environmental health department.

I agree with PPs about cctv and reporting the fence that's in breach of planning regulations, too.

And grow whatever you like on trellis on your side,

Wishbub · 27/08/2021 18:17

Your choice is either move, or contact the police and hopefully not need to sell before they move on. (As others have said you'd need to declare it to your buyers).

We have nightmare neighbours, they purposefully bang on the walls at all hours and shout obscenities at my child when they're playing outside. We've decided to just move, not report them but just leave.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:18

Thanks so much everyone, great advice... Especially re the earphones, love this...
Today they went out & purposefully left trance music blaring for 6 hours... It goes on when they see us in the garden then they put it louder & louder, I just ignore...
I never heard that before about the pigs but I love it..! What a great expression... DH absolutely doesn't want to sit out in the garden tonight but I think we should just to show this is our place just as much.... Its horrible....

OP posts:
Pawsin · 27/08/2021 18:19

What a nightmare OP. I think I would grit my teeth and try a kill them kindness method (even though they don't deserve it!). Take over a cake or something, and say "look I honestly don't want to live with this rift between us, and I'm sure you don't either, how about we call it quits and start afresh" or something to that affect. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do (and obviously might not even work) but retaliating in any other way will just escalate the situation and make it even worse to live beside

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:19

OK maybe the best thing to do would be leave the police out of it to avoid a dispute?

OP posts:
OhSmellyCatSmellyCat · 27/08/2021 18:19

It's horrible but always remember they don't have any super powers that you don't have. You could act as badly as them too if it was in your nature. You choose not to as you are the better person however you can't live like this
Ring door bell, CCTV, keep records and report to the police /planning/and your local councillor if you have to
Ignore any dealings with them directly and plant what you like

SpacePotato · 27/08/2021 18:21

Get a hot tub and invite all the other neighbours round every weekend for a party.

LaBellina · 27/08/2021 18:22

@Homeontherangeuk

OK maybe the best thing to do would be leave the police out of it to avoid a dispute?
That depends on what your plan is. Do you plan to move? Then yes, you might reconsider reporting.

Do you intend to stay? Then report it to let them know you’re not putting up with this and the authorities are aware too of their harassment.

Vanillacupcake33 · 27/08/2021 18:25

OP you cant live like that how awful. They sound like childish idiots. I agree with others it is harassment and I'd make a note of everything they do date and time, install some CCTV too! On top of that I'd make a point of using your garden whenever you want, if they play music continue to sit there (even nod along to the track) no matter how annoyed you are dont show they are getting to you. If they soak you again or anything similar phone the police straight away.
Weve had neighbours like this and the only thing that worked for us to be honest is CCTV and ignoring them and eventually they caved and stopped their pathetic ways.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:32

That's what I'm doing now, I'm using my garden... I've opened all the windows & the set of double doors at the back of my house, I'm sitting down reading my book & having a cuppa... They are blaring their music, I'm seething but ignoring...

OP posts:
SausageRollFan · 27/08/2021 18:33

If They're playing blaring trance music for 6 hrs straight I'd be very surprised If no one else has complained

Notmrsfitz · 27/08/2021 18:37

What if, you just knock on and say you’ve come to make peace - it’s far nicer living in an environment where you tolerate each other than direct hostility.
Plus if you call the police involve the council etc this could potentially limit your house if you decide to sell.

I’m not suggesting you get all pally with them just suggest that in order to live in close proximity it would be nicer not to be at loggerheads.

woodhill · 27/08/2021 18:38

Yes surely other neighbours will be fed up with the music

Also isn't your poor dh trying to sleep

FleasInMyKnees · 27/08/2021 18:39

You might just feel like a little dance later, invite your friends over for a free party. Try not to let them get to you, they will get bored eventually when they realise it's not having any effect.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:39

Everyone else is at work... They've gone out again but left the speaker on our side again... Not as loud but basically intimidation all the same... If they chose a different type of music it wouldn't be too bad but the trance is awful... The leaving it on when they go out is so annoying...

OP posts:
Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:40

@woodhill

Yes surely other neighbours will be fed up with the music

Also isn't your poor dh trying to sleep

Thankfully he's at the front of the house....
OP posts:
FleasInMyKnees · 27/08/2021 18:42

Dont turn it off, they are probably expecting you to do that.

CakeWarrior · 27/08/2021 18:43

Why haven't you reported the fence to the management trust or the council? The only way anything will change is with proof, so with cctv, letters regarding the fence height to the council and a log of the issues? I have had my life a misery by neighbours in the past and absolutely understand how you feel , but it wont go away unless you face it head on OP and do the things pp have suggested. I had the same issue with the speakers against the fence..... we put our gazebo against the fence for some "shade" and then watered the plants. The water just "happened" to run from the top of gazebo down into their garden and onto the speakers...... of course it occurred on a nice day within an hour of them leaving so everything had dried by the time they returned and couldn't figure out what could have happened. After all... how can we reach across our garden with that in the way.....