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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up with neighbours

250 replies

Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 15:14

Bit of a back story, we live in a new development... Here 6 years, we signed a clause to say we wouldn't change door colour, fence height etc... However neighbour has raised the shared boundary fence to 2.5m (terrace house) & its so ugly.. We told them we hate it & they flipped.. We told them its too high, werw told fuck off, now anytime we try to use our garden they play banging house music... Today they put the speakers on full blast & have gone out for the day.. Beautiful day but my kids can't enjoy the sun... I'm at my wits end, hubby is sick of the childish antics.... Last night I was sitting out reading my book quietly with a glass of wine, at 10 ó clock I was drenched by a hose over the fence... They claimed it was their 2 year old when hubby rang in a fit.. No way would a 2 year old have the motor skills to control a hose, drench me, our patio & proceed to drench the clothes line... Bawling here, our dream home is turning into a nightmare... What can we do? They have blocked us from messaging, hung up on DH, blank us... Our home is in such an ideal location, we don't want to or aren't in the position to sell...
No cctv so can't prove who drenched me... DH was working last night, I felt very shaken & worried afterwards but held my ground & stayed out listening to them bitching about us... Before the fence we had a great relationship with them.... I regret saying anything now...

OP posts:
ineedaholidayandwine · 28/08/2021 08:04

@SkiingIsHeaven

Can your 2 year old drench the speakers?

Joking obviously.

I was thinking this 😄👍🏻
LakieLady · 28/08/2021 08:07

@Spanielsarepainless

Bach's Toccata and Fugue played at top volume at 6 o'clock in the morning might do the trick. It did for me. Or they might enjoy it.
Wagner would be better.

No-one, even the most ardent opera lover, could tolerate Gotterdammerung at 6 am.

FreeBritnee · 28/08/2021 08:08

You need video evidence of this and then shame the bastards all over SM.

ineedaholidayandwine · 28/08/2021 08:09

If you do go down the police route consider a camera like this, not wired so you could Mount it by a window upstairs which could catch any deliberate actions like the soaking

ieGeek Wireless Security Camera Outdoor with Rechargeable 10000mAh Battery

dottiedodah · 28/08/2021 08:09

Sadly they sound absolute twats! Good ideas here about police involvement cctv etc. I would try these. At the end of the day no matter how nice your home is it is being spoilt by these dickheads .maybe look into a move if at all possible. Even if you lose money you can't put a price on your mh

LakieLady · 28/08/2021 08:11

Glad things were better last night, OP, but I would still keep records of all incidents just in case they revert to being awful at some point.

Fingers crossed they've come to their senses.

PineappleTart · 28/08/2021 08:18

Definitely get cameras and start a log of everything.

In the meantime I'd suggest going out to dance every time the music comes on, they'll hate if they think you're enjoying it

3Br1tnee · 28/08/2021 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Whyo · 28/08/2021 08:21

You need to start being proactive and not passive with them. They’re not going to stop because you ignore them their illogical brains don’t work like that.

You’re being harassed. You need to involve the police.

Environmental health for the noise. Take videos/recordings.

CCTV (with sound) that covers your property.

You said you’re not looking to move so don’t be put off by disclosing neighbour disputes. Plus if you tackle it now it might not be a disclosable dispute at the time of sale. Harassment FYI is not a “dispute”.

Whyo · 28/08/2021 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

marble11 · 28/08/2021 08:26

Yes me too. Imagine being so intimidated you can't sleep over a fence and some music 🙄

Alexand23 · 28/08/2021 08:26

I am sorry you are going through this. I have had issues with neighbours in the past and it made me so anxious I didn't go in my garden at all for months.
In your position I would just leave it well alone for a couple of months, don't antagonise them by making comments etc, just ignore the music and hopefully they will get bored. Then start to smile at them etc and try make amends that way.
I know this is completely ridiculous and sounds like you are bowing down to them but for a peaceful life, that is what I would try do. Well, if I couldn't move house that it!

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 28/08/2021 08:28

Thanks everyone, started a little journal & have my times & dates... I have blocked them from all my social media & messaging... I think that's what she screamed she would do me for vandalism on the street...
Also have two abusive text messages to say they would no longer speak to us over our overreaction about the fence... Accused us of talking around about them & it got back which we never did & accused us of regularly smoking weed in our garden 🙄 neither of us smoke not to mind smoking weed! I didn't reply to either but have the screenshot...
Dd just reminded me there about the last time her friends came over their 12 year old hosed then down over the fence... Thankfully they were in their swimming costumes as they were enjoying the paddling pool, we asked her to stop countless times until the mum eventually came out..
Thank God the water in the hose hadn't overheated or the kids would have been scalded....

OP posts:
TheRealMrsMorningstar · 28/08/2021 08:28

No advice but just wanted to say I utterly sympathise with you. We are in a similar position - our neighbours are awful and have vandalised our property and belongings (managed to avoid the cctv cameras 🤦🏼‍♀️), play music that says fuck you at full blast everytime my little one is out and we can do nothing about it (environmental health haven't been able to help apparently Hmm)

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 28/08/2021 08:31

Isn't it terrible... So upsetting... Being screamed at on the street was a new low....

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 28/08/2021 08:34

As soon as they go out I'd turn the speaker off - every single time

If they complained I'd say a very cheery "oh we got bored of it. It's lovely you give us tunes when you're here but when you're out we're switching it off"

Tulips15 · 28/08/2021 08:34

contact Enviromental health foe the noise, The police if the music starts before 7 or after 11, get the noise app from your council, put cctv up- One with sound, record everything and keep on at Council/Enviromental health.
Its extreme perhaps but the hose incident- was a physical attack, Maybe call 101 to report.

sandgrown · 28/08/2021 08:34

The higher fence may actually be a blessing . Put up a trellis or get bamboo as previously suggested. These sort of bullies are seeking a reaction so just ignore, ignore , ignore. They will eventually get bored . The noise cancelling headphones are a great idea. Set up CCTV to record any unsociable behaviour. Reclaim your garden .

Tulips15 · 28/08/2021 08:34

Oh and report the fence height to whoever necessary

shuyajty · 28/08/2021 08:41

"Thank God the water in the hose hadn't overheated or the kids would have been scalded...."

🤨

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 28/08/2021 08:41

DS & DH heard them complaining about how they hate us opening our windows fully & our double doors...i love my house feeling aired & as they are new builds they are very well insulated & overheat slightly in the summer.... Most neighbours do I never thought that could be seen as impinging on their privacy...

OP posts:
Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 28/08/2021 08:42

@shuyajty

"Thank God the water in the hose hadn't overheated or the kids would have been scalded...."

🤨

It was during the heatwave last month & hose was on full power...
OP posts:
IheartJKR · 28/08/2021 08:43

I would most definitely contact the police op - what they’re doing is harassment.
There is absolutely no justification for putting a speaker up against the fence and going out.
Please record this on your phone.
While the police won’t be able to prove they deliberately hosed you - the other things they are doing will make it clear that it was probably deliberate.
They are not just going to stop.

I always feel really sad when I read these threads, I had one myself 5 years ago and it was a truly awful time. Flowers

JacquelineCarlyle · 28/08/2021 08:56

Scalding water in the hose is one thing that I'm scared of and have drummed into my kids about spraying it on the grass first before each other. That is really out of order Op.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 28/08/2021 09:02

@sandgrown

The higher fence may actually be a blessing . Put up a trellis or get bamboo as previously suggested. These sort of bullies are seeking a reaction so just ignore, ignore , ignore. They will eventually get bored . The noise cancelling headphones are a great idea. Set up CCTV to record any unsociable behaviour. Reclaim your garden .
This is how it all started, we had said how unhappy we were about the appearance, they only cladded their side so ours looks ugly & disjointed but they refused to clad our side as its not their problem.... OK fair enough we said we'd get trellis & climbers to cover our side, he took offence & said no way as he wanted nothing attached to their property & they didn't want trellis or climbers overhanging theirs... We are looking into a row of pleached trees expensive but they will provide a screen....
OP posts: