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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up with neighbours

250 replies

Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 15:14

Bit of a back story, we live in a new development... Here 6 years, we signed a clause to say we wouldn't change door colour, fence height etc... However neighbour has raised the shared boundary fence to 2.5m (terrace house) & its so ugly.. We told them we hate it & they flipped.. We told them its too high, werw told fuck off, now anytime we try to use our garden they play banging house music... Today they put the speakers on full blast & have gone out for the day.. Beautiful day but my kids can't enjoy the sun... I'm at my wits end, hubby is sick of the childish antics.... Last night I was sitting out reading my book quietly with a glass of wine, at 10 ó clock I was drenched by a hose over the fence... They claimed it was their 2 year old when hubby rang in a fit.. No way would a 2 year old have the motor skills to control a hose, drench me, our patio & proceed to drench the clothes line... Bawling here, our dream home is turning into a nightmare... What can we do? They have blocked us from messaging, hung up on DH, blank us... Our home is in such an ideal location, we don't want to or aren't in the position to sell...
No cctv so can't prove who drenched me... DH was working last night, I felt very shaken & worried afterwards but held my ground & stayed out listening to them bitching about us... Before the fence we had a great relationship with them.... I regret saying anything now...

OP posts:
StillWalking · 27/08/2021 16:15

Report the fence to the planning office at your local council. It's over height and will need to be lowered to 2m max. Can anyone else see the fence? If so they need not assume it's you that reported it.

LucasLodge · 27/08/2021 16:17

I've had a similar (but worse) neighbour problem. The police were absolutely hopeless. In fact, the neighbours relished the police being involved . The only way to be in charge of your own destiny is to move.

StrangeToSee · 27/08/2021 16:22

Re the hosepipe it’s unfortunately not impossible for a 2 year old to aim it over the fence and soak next door’s garden. (Speaking from experience here, I turned my back for a few minutes and she grabbed the hose and tried to ‘make rainbows’ with it, soaking neighbour’s garden. Hose was switched on as I was watering the roots of shrubs).

Re the fence, I’d try not to get into a fight over it. You have to live next door to these people. What’s so ugly about it? Can you convince them to replace it with trellis or something?

bagelsandoranges · 27/08/2021 16:22

Hmm. I don't know. Sometimes it works I guess, other times not. There are those who assume people are too intimidated to take action and base their confidence on that alone. It's a bit like calling their bluff on that one.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 16:22

Also they damaged the fence on our side when it was being put up... The handyman drilled right through & left a hole.. We told them & asked to repair politely 3 times the final time he replied get him to do it yourself.. Pic included...

Fed up with neighbours
OP posts:
Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 16:26

This is how it started.. Trellis... We replied we weren't happy with the look of the fence & will probably put creepers trellis outside to cover up & we were told in not uncertain terms not to... They didn't want uncontrollable climbers creeping over their side.
I'm so upset here still....

OP posts:
AtticusHoysAnus · 27/08/2021 16:38

Neighborhood disputes are hardly ever resolved until someone moves.

FleasInMyKnees · 27/08/2021 16:39

What is the grey patch, can you paint over it with concrete paint. Could you just plant some shrubs your side, is it that bad or just ugly to look at.

LittleBiscuit09 · 27/08/2021 17:05

Phone the police, having a two year old have access to that much water in the garden for long enough to do that would be a safeguarding concern. People can drown in a teaspoon of water ya know

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 17:45

DH managed to finally turn off the speaker with a stick, was on 6 hours... We were in the garden when they came back & they were furious the speakers were off, saying how there they touch our property, it was under the fence beside ours... DH was able to reach it... I was walking with my son & she shouted "ill do you for vandalism"... I ignored her but I'm very shaken.. It was obvious it was left on on purpose to upset us...

OP posts:
Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 17:48

@FleasInMyKnees

What is the grey patch, can you paint over it with concrete paint. Could you just plant some shrubs your side, is it that bad or just ugly to look at.
The grey patch was from where it got damaged from when they added their panelling their side .... We asked them 3 times to fix it but they refused & on last attempt we were told do it ourselves....
OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 27/08/2021 17:50

You will have to move. It won’t stop and if you call the police you will have to declare a problem with the neighbours.

Sell up, call it quits.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 17:52

We're just not in a position to sell & we love our home... I put my head up & ignored but I just don't know what else we can do, it's horrific...

OP posts:
ErinAoife · 27/08/2021 17:52

They are just plain stupid. Don't bother with them and ignore them. Go to your garden, plant whatever you want without taking them into consideration, if they don't care about you why would you care about them

LaBellina · 27/08/2021 17:53

How awful OP.
They sound very nasty.

As others have said, this is definitely a police matter. Install CCTV and write down every incident. Gather evidence if possible.
Don’t contact them again, instead, contact the police. Do they have a job that requires behaving as a decent member of the public in their free time? Our old neighbor that was harassing us had a government profession that undermined his credibility as such if people would know he was harassing neighbors in his free time so we gathered evidence and contacted his boss. He was angry obviously but we got our peace back (at least for a while). Whatever you do, don’t argue with them or try to pay them back by displaying the same bully behavior. Just record everything and start building a case against them.

EastWestWhosBest · 27/08/2021 17:55

Playing music like that must be annoying other neighbours too. Have you spoken to them?

QuitMoaning · 27/08/2021 17:55

@FleasInMyKnees

Were they moaning about you reading, maybe they are jealous.
🤣🤣🤣 brilliant. Under rated comment. 👍
Veryverycalmnow · 27/08/2021 17:59

They sound awful. I'd want a higher fence...

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:02

Omg just getting this now🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:03

@EastWestWhosBest

Playing music like that must be annoying other neighbours too. Have you spoken to them?
To be honest, we keep to ourselves, we're not odd! DH works night shifts & I'm an introvert by nature so wouldn't be on friendly enough terms to approach about them & I wouldnt want anything getting back to them either....
OP posts:
Mary46 · 27/08/2021 18:04

Awful op. My neighbour moved. The hubbies never got on. I would keep a log of what you told us. Its bullying/intimidating carry on. A camera might help.

Fncottonrrrrgh · 27/08/2021 18:04

Even if you can't afford it, cut your losses and run, sell up fast. Take the financial hit.

Original poster
Homeontherangeuk · 27/08/2021 18:05

Friends were saying to play music ourselves back at them etc but I think that would just give them ammunition & we're not like that..

OP posts:
CorrBlimeyGG · 27/08/2021 18:06

I wouldnt want anything getting back to them either....

If you contact the police it will definitely get back to them! If I took that route, I'd rather do it as a group than alone.

Pinkspecs · 27/08/2021 18:07

I would move.
I understand you don't want to but it sounds horrible.
You should feel safe and happy in your home.

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