How do I get one of THOSE children

[Elmoandbert]

What is it that makes a child motivated, busy, sparky, confident...you know, those children that private schools seem to produce. Is it the school or the parenting? Both?

My son is 8 and is lovely most of the time but just comes across as being lazy, bored, unconfident, addicted to screens, like a teenager in many ways,the complete opposite of this.

He takes part in a few extracurricular activities but just says how much he hates them. I am at my wits end and feeling like a failure.

@bumblingbovine49

Thanks for your post, it made me feel better

I have wondered at times about ASD - but it seems to be specifically adults he has an issue with

Has he ever explained his awkwardness to you? I just can’t get my son to explain why he find it so hard

@ArabellaPilkington

Not even talking to your own grandparents isn’t a facet of introversion

He just doesn’t engage

We’re all introverts! But we speak to our own relatives

I think there are a lot of parameters. First of all, how much time do you spend on screens? Do you have any hobbies and activities? I am sorry I am not trying to make you feel badly, my therapist asked me those questions too.

I am starting to be the change I want to see in my child. For example I noticed that he wasn't talking about his feelings, and problems at school, but how can I blame him, when I am dealing with secondary infertility and wasn't been able to accept it in order to ask for help.

I would say to first of all accept your child as is, and secondly to lead by example. Children pick up those things, and you'll be amazed by the changes in the child and your relationship