Flattering or inappropriate from mechanic at garage?

[georgeaibu]

I'm a mid twenties woman who took the car to the garage for a new tyre (alone). I have not been to this garage before but it comes highly recommended from the local mums Facebook page.

I pull up and the manager/owner (according to their Facebook page), who must have been between 60-70, says 'hello princess, how can I help?'. We then discuss the needs of the car and he asks if I am going to wait- I say yes as it will only be about 20 minutes- and he says 'that's our pleasure to have you wait, you look absolutely lovely'.

I wait inside uneventfully. When he calls me up to pay he explains about the car throughly and normally, but then as I go to leave he says (I assume clocking my wedding ring) 'your young man is a very lucky man, you're really pretty'.

On each occasion I didn't know what to say so mumbled something about 'thanks' and felt progressively more uncomfortable, especially after the last comment. He's 100% older than my dad.

AIBU to have felt uncomfortable? Should I have just felt flattered?

(He wasn't saying things in a 'leery' way, I never felt unsafe, and there were other mechanics in the area albeit they wouldn't have heard what he said).

@Journeyofthedragons

Are you suggesting they aren’t really car mechanics?

[quote BigRedFrog]@LimeRedBanana yes and I do.[/quote]
You make in appropriate comments to your colleagues?

@Pumperthepumper we make what you may call inappropriate comments to one another, no one gets offended, why would we.
You call it inappropriate, we call it banter.

[quote BigRedFrog]@Pumperthepumper we make what you may call inappropriate comments to one another, no one gets offended, why would we.
You call it inappropriate, we call it banter.[/quote]
The difference is you make these comments ‘to one another.’ That’s not the same as firing them at a customer young enough to be your daughter who isn’t responding. It’s a totally different situation, otherwise you could excuse literally everything with ‘oh it’s just banter.’

As a reply to hello Princess I would have said no actually it's a Clio or whatever the car is. A Princess was a car from the 70s. In fact a crude joke from that era "last night I shagged a Princess. I burnt my knob on the exhaust pipe".

He was probably trying to put you at ease
I work with a lovely older man who got in trouble for calling a female customer " Darling".
Being called a princess would not have bothered me in the slightest.

It's not generational.
Plenty of men wouldn't dream of using sexist language towards women my dh and df included.
Dh is 60 and df is 90.

It more likely lack of awareness of what is appropriate. I don't suppose equality in the workplace features highly in a mechanics training.

@Kanaloa try reading from the beginning. I said I would have bantered back with him, not the op, the op was never mentioned.
But hey ho, this is MN. Take it how you want sweet cheeks.

The fact that you would have been happy to be spoken to like this isn’t relevant. OP wasn’t and made that clear by her lack of response, he then continued making similar comments. It’s inappropriate and to excuse it in any way isn’t acceptable.

So whatever you would have done, in this situation it still isn’t acceptable.

It could be worse, my mechanic offered to poke my rust, and he wasn't referring to my car. And also he also sent me two sex videos (by accident).

[quote BigRedFrog]@Kanaloa try reading from the beginning. I said I would have bantered back with him, not the op, the op was never mentioned.
But hey ho, this is MN. Take it how you want sweet cheeks.[/quote]
You stated I would have responded to the banter with banter which most definitely suggests rather strongly that you believe his comments were banter.

Maybe try remembering what you said?

To some no, to others yes, but there we go.

[quote BigRedFrog]@Pumperthepumper we make what you may call inappropriate comments to one another, no one gets offended, why would we.
You call it inappropriate, we call it banter.[/quote]
So not the same as one person being inappropriate to an uncomfortable other person?

Another one who doesn't read things correctly before jumping in....sigh.

@Moonface123

He was probably trying to put you at ease I work with a lovely older man who got in trouble for calling a female customer " Darling". Being called a princess would not have bothered me in the slightest.

And the men he called Darling were all ok with it?

@BigRedFrog

Another one who doesn't read things correctly before jumping in....sigh.

I think you’re probably just embarrassed at that corner you’ve backed yourself into.

I think you should be embarrassed @Pumperthepumper, you’re a real bully.

@Blossomtoes

I think you should be embarrassed *@Pumperthepumper*, you’re a real bully.

Oh you’re back! I thought you’d turn a blind eye to any ‘banter’ - or is it only if it’s you that’s bantering with uncomfortable young men?

It’s not banter, you’re bullying and browbeating anyone who has the audacity not to agree with you. It’s not big or clever.

@Blossomtoes

It’s not banter, you’re bullying and browbeating anyone who has the audacity not to agree with you. It’s not big or clever.

Wrong, it’s banter. If it makes you uncomfortable then that’s just you being precious.

Not nice is it?

This is the problem with people who are happy to cry ‘banter,’ it only seems to be banter when they’re making others uncomfortable and unhappy, not when the same is done to them.

You think you’re so very clever. Bullies hate it when people stand up to them. Loathesome when you get a taste of your own medicine, isn’t it?

@Blossomtoes

You think you’re so very clever. Bullies hate it when people stand up to them. Loathesome when you get a taste of your own medicine, isn’t it?

I think this is probably a conversation to keep in mind next time you’re tempted to be inappropriate to a young man for your own amusement.

@Pumperthepumper I've nothing to be embarrassed about, nor in a corner, however I read posts correctly, something that you should learn to do really before jumping on the wagon.
I would suggest that you return to the beginning and start again, but equally I would suggest that in your case it would be a waste of time.
I can't engage with silly girls, so I'll bid you farewell and carry on with the banter which you may or may not think is appropriate.
Goodbye.

@Kanaloa

This is the problem with people who are happy to cry ‘banter,’ it only seems to be banter when they’re making others uncomfortable and unhappy, not when the same is done to them.

It’s strange isn’t it?