Update-How many drinks for you to sleep with her

[Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum]

I made a thread a couple of weeks back about me visiting the butcher in a supermarket near me and the young guy serving me saying that to his colleague in his local language (I live abroad)
He assumed I was on holiday and didn’t understand the language, I did. I was with my toddler daughter and was so humiliated and upset, I cried in the car on the way home.
Later, I sent a complaint to the head of the shop. They’ve now got back to me properly. Apparently they were able to discover who it was by speaking to other staff and he admitted it and was reprimanded, which resulted in him being fired and is now finishing his contract, so is still there legally.
I feel angry still that he was able to make me feel that humiliated, I was worried I’d possibly misheard part of it or got it wrong. Now he’s admitted it, I’m glad he’s lost his job and someone who deserves it can fill his place.
Do you think the supermarket did enough? It’s unlikely I’ll go back, which is a shame as it’s the main supermarket for special bits where we are.

Reading over the emails, am I wrong in making the assumption he’s going to be fired. It said that he admitted to it and immediate action was taken in relation to him, however there are legal guidelines that need to be met until these measures take effect. They said this type of attitude is not acceptable within their company, therefore measures were taken accordingly.

What do you take from that? I assumed he wouldn’t be working there when the contract was up for example?

That doesn't read to me like he has been fired at all. It reads as though they're going through the disciplinary process, which could means he gets as little as a verbal warning.

Ha ha ha to him losing his job. Maybe it'll teach the sexist little shit not to make nasty comments about strangers in the future. Don't you dare be made to feel bad about him getting fired. He deserved it.

[quote TheWoleb]@3Br1tnee

But why?
His job is customer facing, and was at a butchers counter so properly interacting with customers. A lot of those customers will be woman. It is in a tourist area. A lot of those female customer will not speak to language.

He has shown how he behaves to women who dont speak the language. His colleague identified him and it all happened quite quickly, which should tell you a little about how even his colleagues view his behaviour.

Why should a man like that be allowed to continue working in a role were he is having interaction with foreign women, who he enjoys belittling?
If that was your company, your store, would you hire a man like that?[/quote]
Exactly. Sexism and misogyny is always trivialised and played down, it’s still so baked in and internalised (in both men and women).

*He made a shitty comment and in return you get him fired in a global pandemic where he probably won't find work again and you are glad.

Let's hope he hasn't got a family to support hey*

He should have thought about his family shouldn't he.

Nothing worse than hurt pride!

Just let it go now, a good looking man (by your own admission), made a distasteful comment which you took to heart as you used to be thin and attractive but now are several stone overweight (again by your own admission) and you felt rather affronted. You complained, the man was fired, the wrong has been righted. You aren’t entitled to compensation or vouchers. The man doesn’t deserve hanging.

Time to let it go, or turn this experience into a positive and use it as a push to lose some weight seen as your appearance and how others view you is so important to you!

Can't believe the responses to a woman who was belittled and humiliated to the point that she cried in her car, she dares speak up and people are acting like the man is the victim here.

Poor guy, he just needs a bit of training on how not to demean women. He was just having a laugh. Now he's lost his job because of YOU OP.

Or not

Haven't you learned by now OP, you are a woman, you put up and shut up and keep that smile on your face. He's a man, he can't possibly be held accountable for him actions 🙄

@Mushtullo thanks for the pointless sarcastic response, interesting as I said it was shitty and not acceptable, yet yous till decide to have a go at me. How droll.

OP I said you are obsessing because you said you’re going back to check through the emails and you won’t go back in. I do think you’ve taken it to hear. I know it’s shit, I said it’s shit, totally unacceptable behaviour. But dwelling on it just means you are the one suffering more.

From your update, I don't think you can assume he's been fired. I imagine it to mean a proper, legally correct disciplinary process has been started so it's not surprising he's still there in the mean time.

@Frauhubert

Why would you care a butcher in a supermarket finds you unattractive? And be ‘glad’ he lost his job. You are so vain

Idiot

@StarryStarrySocks

What he said was unacceptable and he was rightly reprimanded. But I can't imagine being "glad" that someone had lost his job because of me.

He didn’t lose his job because of the OP. He lost his job because of his own behaviour.

He was very very rude and unkind.

I dont think he should have been fired (and how do you work out your contract when you've been fired!???)

I think he should be made to face you and explain how being so unkind and cruel is the right way to live

Being sacked will just make him feel like a martyr

Let's truly humiliate him by getting him to explain why he's such a dick

But keep his job. He's not a criminal!

@Lochroy Yes, I’m not so sure now after reading it 🤷🏻‍♀️

@girlmom21

I can't believe you're glad he was fired. Yes it was a shitty thing to say/way to behave but Jesus, this is a mans livelihood.

A formal warning and maybe some additional training dependant on the size of the business would have been enough.

He needs training to understand it's not acceptable to belittle and humiliate women @girlmom21. Ffs you can't be serious 🤣

@Winemewhynot, I'll go first. ODFOD.

I just wanted to say sorry this has effected you so much and that you felt humiliated in front of your daughter.

I'm sure she completely looks up to her mum and the fact that you did something about it which is a great example to set.

Don't be too hard on yourself

The punishment does not fit the crime in my opinion. He should have been given a warning and training.

Firing him for his job would make him worse on his attitudes to women. I am not expert but these approaches can backfired. Applauding this is just shortsighted. Presumably he won’t get a reference for another job. So what exactly do you want OP? We can’t not answer that for you. Really odd that you feel is not enough.

I think he should be made to face you and explain how being so unkind and cruel is the right way to live

How is his employer supposed to enforce this?

How are you going to find out if he is still working there? Are you going to email the company again to let them know that you will not be using their shop while he still works there? Then at least you'll find out if he's being moved/fired.

He may just get a disciplinary and "training" in customer facing behaviour - which won't improve his attitudes or behaviour, but will at least protect others from feeling humiliated by him.

@Thatsplentyjack a lot of places would give him equality and diversity training.

We've been giving violent and aggressive people anger management training for years.

Dangerous drivers get speed awareness training.

Sometimes a bit of insight into the other side of things can help an ignorant person.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad I asked them to please tell me when he’s no longer there/what shifts he currently works.
But now I’m not so sure he will be going or what disciplinary action has been taken 🤷🏻‍♀️
Now I’m wondering if they’ve really done that much, I took it to assume they had, but not sure.

But no way can I go back in there and be served by him.

I actually cannot believe there are people who think a member of staff can look at a customer, loudly ask another member of staff how drunk they’d have to be to sleep with the customer, suggest, ‘probably a lot’ and that sacking them for behaving that way is too harsh?!!!

What WOULD deserve a sacking then? Bouncing a melon off the customers head? Jeez

@slashlover

I think he should be made to face you and explain how being so unkind and cruel is the right way to live

How is his employer supposed to enforce this?

I dont think the employer can enforce it.

But if the OP can't let this go, telling him how she feels face to face might be helpful

I think its more appropriate than him being sacked.

@Winemewhynot

Nothing worse than hurt pride!

Just let it go now, a good looking man (by your own admission), made a distasteful comment which you took to heart as you used to be thin and attractive but now are several stone overweight (again by your own admission) and you felt rather affronted. You complained, the man was fired, the wrong has been righted. You aren’t entitled to compensation or vouchers. The man doesn’t deserve hanging.

Time to let it go, or turn this experience into a positive and use it as a push to lose some weight seen as your appearance and how others view you is so important to you!

No, I think its just that OP would rather she could go for her shopping without being made a fool of by shop assistants.