Update-How many drinks for you to sleep with her

[Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum]

I made a thread a couple of weeks back about me visiting the butcher in a supermarket near me and the young guy serving me saying that to his colleague in his local language (I live abroad)
He assumed I was on holiday and didn’t understand the language, I did. I was with my toddler daughter and was so humiliated and upset, I cried in the car on the way home.
Later, I sent a complaint to the head of the shop. They’ve now got back to me properly. Apparently they were able to discover who it was by speaking to other staff and he admitted it and was reprimanded, which resulted in him being fired and is now finishing his contract, so is still there legally.
I feel angry still that he was able to make me feel that humiliated, I was worried I’d possibly misheard part of it or got it wrong. Now he’s admitted it, I’m glad he’s lost his job and someone who deserves it can fill his place.
Do you think the supermarket did enough? It’s unlikely I’ll go back, which is a shame as it’s the main supermarket for special bits where we are.

I think he should be made to face you and explain

Restorative justice, really? 🙄😂

You did the right thing and so did the supermarket.
I remember on your thread that you made a couple of remarks that suggested you had a negative view of women who weren’t prefect as well.
I dont see what you thought you were going to get from starting another thread about this - if you just wanted to update you could have done it on the last thread but anyway I think it’s time you moved on and try and forget the whole thing

@Hoppinggreen No, I didn’t suggest that at all.

I'll bet the OP isn't the only customer that he commented upon. He was probably playing this stupid game all through his shift. The fact that his colleagues knew it was him also suggests it wasn't a one off. So, to everyone clutching a violin and a bleeding heart that this poor soul has lost his job in a pandemic, he has no one to blame but himself.

OP, maybe he has been told to go by the end of the month so perhaps start shopping there again in September.
I don't think you can also expect a face to face apology which by the way is the only other thing you said that you wanted, unlike other posters who are yet again forming their own narrative mentioning compensation etc!

Pinnacle of fuckwittery to suggest that in response to being publicly bullied in a sexualised way while out shopping with her small child, what a woman should do is turn it into motivation for weight loss.

Imagine being someone who would suggest that. What a worldview.

People who don't think this is a sackable offence, you're saying you'd just be happy with some man laughing about how drunk he'd have to be to have sex with you? He's in a customer facing role and he is actively mocking his customers. In front of them, in front of their children.

His co-worker was smart enough to not go along with it, presumably because he knew it was wrong.

I'm glad you filed a complaint, OP. I was here for the original thread and was upset on your behalf.

I asked them to please tell me when he’s no longer there/what shifts he currently works.

Supermarkets should not be handing out employee shift patterns to anyone. I had some problems with customers and would have been horrified if they'd handed out me start/finishing times to people.

Well it seems I’m the only person to think this, but I think they should have done more.

I think he should have been fired. Not just allowed to work out his contract.
And I think they should have done more to address the root cause, such as training their staff so this can’t happen again. If his colleagues had known how to react to his behaviour then it wouldn’t have happened, or would have been caught at more minor issues and addressed before he escalated to that kind of behaviour.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

Pinnacle of fuckwittery to suggest that in response to being publicly bullied in a sexualised way while out shopping with her small child, what a woman should do is turn it into motivation for weight loss.

Imagine being someone who would suggest that. What a worldview.

Obviously you didn’t read the OPs first thread where her initial concern regarding this incident was that due to her weight gain she was no longer attractive to men.

[quote Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum]@Hoppinggreen No, I didn’t suggest that at all.[/quote]
Yeah, you kind of did
You said (paraphrasing) that you couldn’t believe you had become a woman men say things like that about. Suggesting that overweight women are somehow inviting such an awful attitude.
You did nothing to deserve such shitty behaviour but your size shouldn’t dictate how people treat you.
Hopefully he has been fired but if not either go to another supermarket or go in and look the twat in the eye

‘How many drinks for you to sleep with her?’ http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4326889--How-many-drinks-for-you-to-sleep-with-her

Previous thread here

I’m really confused as they’ve now replied saying that yes he’s new on the team but they cannot give me a time when he will be there until as it goes against regulation EU 2016/679 on the protection of natural persons with regard to the processing of personal data and on the free movement of such data.

Have no idea what any of that means 🤷🏻‍♀️

No @Hoppinggreen I didn’t and the majority agreed with that and that I hadn’t meant to imply that at all.

@Needapoodle

Can't believe the responses to a woman who was belittled and humiliated to the point that she cried in her car, she dares speak up and people are acting like the man is the victim here.

I totally get how OP feels. Many of us have been humiliated or had strangers ruin our day with rude comments. But she put in the Op 'did the supermarket do enough?'

Sorry, but come on. The guy got fired. What more do you actually want? He's a dick and you can be pleased he's not in that role anymore, but show a bit of gratitude to the supermarket for taking it seriously.

@Winemewhynot NO not concerned that I wasn’t attractive to men, as I stated before, if you’d read the whole thread. I couldn’t give a flying fuck if I’m attractive to men, I however don’t expect to face this when just shopping with my daughter, I shouldn’t have to face this and be mocked like this. I was doing nothing wrong and just wanted to be left alone

@leonpride He perhaps hasn’t been fired, but gratitude towards them for taking it seriously? Surely it goes without saying that they should be taking it seriously?

You said you can’t believe you had become somebody with looks that men say that sort of thing about.
Men say that sort of thing about women, how we look is unimportant. If he hadn’t been saying he wouldn’t shag you he probably would have made some comment about how he would
Would you have preferred that?

@Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum

No *@Hoppinggreen* I didn’t and the majority agreed with that and that I hadn’t meant to imply that at all.

You definitely did. You were saying how you used to be a gym bunny with a perfect body etc.

I think you did the right thing about reporting it and the supermarket have done the right thing as well by disciplining him as it wasn’t acceptable for him to say that.

You do sound like you hve self esteem issues and it might be worth working on those with some therapy. You sound a bit obsessed with the situation, it has been dealt with now, you need to move on. You shouldn’t stop going into the supermarket. Even if he is in the supermarket when you go in, he will probably just feel embarrassed at his behaviour if he sees you and knows you speak the language now. He’ll be on his best behaviour, if he even recognises you.

[quote Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum]@Winemewhynot NO not concerned that I wasn’t attractive to men, as I stated before, if you’d read the whole thread. I couldn’t give a flying fuck if I’m attractive to men, I however don’t expect to face this when just shopping with my daughter, I shouldn’t have to face this and be mocked like this. I was doing nothing wrong and just wanted to be left alone[/quote]
I did read the whole thread, you made multiple comments about size = attractiveness and was pulled up multiple times by posters which is why you’ve made a new thread rather than updating that one.

you complained he was sacked all this crap now is a you problem , you self esteem is probably pretty low anyway for you to have taken such offence at his comment anyway , nasty comment yes but earth shattering and devastating not really tbh most women I know wouldn't have even bothered with going as far as you have because shit people say shit stuff all the time you can't go around being offended at everything

@Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum

I’m really confused as they’ve now replied saying that yes he’s new on the team but they cannot give me a time when he will be there until as it goes against regulation EU 2016/679 on the protection of natural persons with regard to the processing of personal data and on the free movement of such data.

Have no idea what any of that means 🤷🏻‍♀️

It means that giving out staff details such as shift patterns is entirely inappropriate. Imagine if you had arranged someone to come and beat him up because you knew exactly when he would be leaving work?

@Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum

No *@Hoppinggreen* I didn’t and the majority agreed with that and that I hadn’t meant to imply that at all.

Well it seems not everyone did agree does it now? Look, a shitty thing happened and you reported this awful man (although personally I might have gone for giving him a bollocking there and then) so there’s no point in starting more threads about it. Just get on with the rest of your life and if this incident has caused any issues you have to rear their heads then try to deal with them, getting help if needed

@Winemewhynot Really nasty, it was clear to many that I don’t think like that at all. You’re just on here to make me feel even worse? Just fancy an argument/taking your frustrations out on somebody.

Scant believe this thread has made it this far. Why are people arguing

@Winemewhynot I said ME being overweight was not attractive, no I don’t feel attractive with weight on me, it doesn’t suit me, doesn’t suit me, doesn’t make me feel good about myself, not in regard to other men and not saying that other overweight women aren’t attractive, they are, I’m not.
Why the hell am I the one fighting my corner in this situation?! Why did something this man did, that was him at fault and upset me, make me to blame?!
Madness