2nd Thread: friend wants to move in for a 'few months'

[islandhoppin]

As continued from my previous thread.

@islandhoppin

OP as this was your best friend and you know her family and boyfriend, I am surprised that you or your DP or even your sister didn't think to contact anyone close to her to find out what was going on.

Wow

@ZoyaTheDestroyer
What an incredibly entitled post. OP doesn’t owe you anything.

No, I don't think so. This is the second thread on this situation and OP has shared a lot of information, such as waiting at the train station for her DP as she could see her "friend" there, just one example. OP chose to update this morning on the fact that "friend" had appeared at her back door so naturally posters asked questions. I'm sure OP was aware that if she put that statement on the thread, there would be questions. If OP didn't want to share those details she didn't have to update the thread with that dramatic news did she.

Wow.

@FOJN

OP you said she was at your back door but looking in her handbag, is there anyway she could have a key?

She might have been thinking of putting a note through the door.

Op good to hear she shouldn't have a key because I was thinking the same thing could she have been looking for a key.

Definitely no chance she could have copied a key at any point in time? She hasn't waited in for a delivery, or fed your pets or anything.

I'd be surprised if she wanted to post a note, back doors tend not to have letter boxes.

I'd guess she was getting her phone out.

Nah she didn't want to talk - spying on you or planning something. Why else sneak around and then run off when she sees OP. Up to no good.

Put a camera out the back window and secure everything. Get some blinds. She isn't happy with you and is up to no good.

She may have been looking for her phone, or an abusive letter to shove under the door, a brick to throw through the window, or a crowbar to get in… no one knows. @islandhoppin… You need security cameras ASAP.

You need to get some cameras up, OP

Why would I sneak into someone's back garden?

Would she expect you to be in the house on your own?

It isn't the fact I didn't want to update the thread, it's the fact I've been at a funeral today and haven't had the time to look at my phone.

@islandhoppin

It isn't the fact I didn't want to update the thread, it's the fact I've been at a funeral today and haven't had the time to look at my phone.

Don't worry. People sometimes think your real life is their personal soap opera unfortunately. Only update if you feel able to.

I'm sorry to hear you've been at a funeral today, you must be emotionally exhausted at the moment.
We are concerned for you and want to help and support you if we can, but you don't owe us anything.
I really hope things settle down soon and I'm sorry your friend turned out to be like this.

I too wonder if she's somehow got a key. If it was innocent and she just wanted to talk things through then surely she'd have gone to your front door wouldn't she?

Op rather than install cameras, I would be tempted just to be 100% sure change the locks. And get that bolt fitted on your back gate.

I find it really really odd that you found her at your backdoor rumbling in her bag. Notes and more innocent things like her phone I'd expect her to go to your front door, unless your house is a sort of 60s build with an access road at the back and just a footpath at the front.

@JSL52
Don't worry. People sometimes think your real life is their personal soap opera unfortunately.
Only update if you feel able to.

Actually, I don't agree with your comment.

Posters shouldn't update with a dramatic post if they are not going to be there or are not willing to answer questions. Of course, no one is obliged to give details of their life but if you don't want follow up questions don't do the post in the first place. Those type of dramatic posts are what cause the soap opera.

I would suggest that OP or OP's DP or indeed OP's sister contact this "friends" boyfriend or her family. OP has stated that this was her best friend and she knows the family. It seems strange that no contact between any of these people has taken place to find out what is going on with this friend.

The questions around why she was at OP's back door? does she have a key? was she trying to talk to her? could easily have been answered if some communication had taken place. In addition, someone could check up on this "friend" to see if she is okay.

Very bizarre

thiscant, your posts are the nosiest and more entitled posts directed towards a poster ever. It's her life, she's here for help, she owes you nothing and you're coming over as a pale shadow of the original wannabe houseguest. Can you not act with a bit of respect?

OP, get what's useful from the thread and skim over and ignore the wierd posts.

I'm not entirely sure what benefit it is to the Op to speak with this womans family. She is a grown adult not a child.

It seems to me she is an entitled bully. Who isn't used to be told No, so is trying to intimidate the Op, teach her a lesson for saying No. To what benefit only she knows.

The reasonable response from family would be to tell bully girl to back off.
But what happens if they turn on Op too, well actually Bully girl needs somewhere to stay for xyz reason, you've got spare room so why shouldn't she stay with you, after all your as good as family.....

@Ijsbear

I'm sorry if you think that about me, it is not the case. If you see a much earlier post on this thread from me, you will see I have been supportive.

I totally agree that no one owes anyone anything. However, I do feel the dramatic update from the OP with no follow up causes drama and speculation.

The "friend" appearing at OP's back door could surely be answered by some communication with the "friend's" family. OP has stated that she knows the family well and her sister is also friends with this person. Surely, some communication is needed.