Well I'll just sell the effing house then now.

[Handy123]

I've got three children and no support. They are 9 months, 3 and 5. I have Hashimoto's disease which I have struggled to control recently.

Husband works full time and so all childcare/cleaning etc falls to me. He does cook in the evenings which I'm grateful for and help a little at weekends.

I've just got back from two days spent at my parents' caravan in the South West. DH working so couldn't come too. I had been overwhelmed before I got there to be honest (3 hours' drive away with the baby still breastfed). I had been really hoping for a bit of support, a chance for a break perhaps even.

Anyway, my parents (who have both retired and spend most of the summer on their caravan) just didn't offer to help at all. In fact, they just criticised my parenting most of the time. The usual 'rod for my own back' comments about my toddler being very attached to me and how I should be smacking my children.

I cried most of the way home (cut the holiday short in fact) as I'm so frustrated that they didn't help. I did not expect them to have any of the children during the day, but the fact I couldn't even have a shower whilst they held the baby, shows how they just didn't seem to care.

Back story: they 'helped' us to buy a house next door to them years ago. 'Helped' because they wanted it really and to control me by having me next door to them. There's been a huge amount of emotional manipulation about it ever since and we moved out 2 years ago. I want to sell it (its 100% owned by me), but out of some weird misplaced loyalty, I've only rented it out. They dreamily think that 'one day' I might want to live there again. I won't.

Anyway, I feel like they've showed their true colours recently and I think if they are going to be like that with me, I might as well sell it and be happy, putting that part of my life behind me. It could result in a huge family fallout.

AIBU - Yes - stop being petty over a few days' holiday blip
AIBU - No - sod it and sell up for closure

Dh bought me matching diamond studsand pendant but it doesn’t mean I was being entitled.

It’s not like op held a gun to their heads.

Thank you so much for your great advice and support @Ringsender2

I will check out FOG (never heard of it before, but it sounds very appropriate) and those other threads.

Absolutely sell it.

Until your Hashi's is controlled, don't do anything. When mine was storming, I vacillated between hyper and angry and hypo and depressed and felt the worst I ever have. I uttedly sympathise- mine took years to control. Demand a referral to an endocrinoligist and get yourself T3 if you can.

In the meantime, reduce stress and get as much rest as you can. Ignore all the issues until you are well, hard though it is.

Oh my god just get out of there!

Your parents sound highly unsupportive and critical :( but I think you need to focus your limited energy on your husband. Working full time isn’t a get out clause. He has 3 young children and a wife who is struggling. He needs to do more than help out…

If you think you'd be happier somewhere else, and you've crunched the numbers and will be able to afford something that will make you happier after selling this place, then by all means, sell. But don't do it because you're mad at your parents for not helping with the children. They aren't going to help with them if you live far away, either, so you're not accomplishing anything other than wasting money and unnecessarily disrupting your children's lives if you move for that reason.

I also recommend reading this book, especially Chapter 3 on controlling parents:

https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming-ebook/dp/B000SEH80I/ref=tmmkinnswatch0??encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=