To expect not to have to detail my medical history when parking my car !!

[Rosscameasdoody]

Just need to get this off my chest really, before my head explodes. I’m a disabled driver - obvious disability once I get out of the car. Went to the supermarket yesterday as usual with a friend who helps me with getting in and out of my wheelchair, dealing with shopping etc.

Found a disabled spot and friend gets out of the car - is immediately challenged by an older lady who comes barrelling over with a really horrible attitude - the usual ‘you don’t look very disabled’, but very aggressive and loud. Friend tries to explain that she’s helping me, but Mrs Nosey is having none of it, and the next minute I find myself being grilled about my condition and asking where my blue badge is - I think this may be what sparked the confrontation as I don’t display it unless I park in a disabled spot, as per guidance. I was about to put it in the window after parking up.

For some reason this is happening more and more since Covid - people just seem to think they have a right to ask what I feel are personal and intrusive questions about medical conditions. And yesterday, instead of just showing her the badge and the wheelchair hoist, as I usually do if challenged, I snapped back. Said I have a current legal blue badge, which I had no obligation to show to anyone but traffic and law enforcement officers and that she had no right to ask about my disability - said that it was confidential, between myself and my doctor and I had no intention of discussing it with a stranger.

By this time friend had hoisted down the chair and asked Mrs Nosey to move aside so she could help me get into it. As soon as she realised I was a wheelchair user it must have dawned in her on her that she looked a bit of an idiot - she mumbled an apology and scurried off.

My question is AIBU to think that my medical history is no one’s business but my own ? And has anyone else had similar experiences ?

I don't think it should ever have been extended to conditions other than major physical disabilities. What happens to that group of people if the BB spaces are all occupied? You literally cannot extract a chair in a normal parking space.

@Innocenta

I don't think it should ever have been extended to conditions other than major physical disabilities. What happens to that group of people if the BB spaces are all occupied? You literally cannot extract a chair in a normal parking space.

Does that happen that often though? I don't know about council car parks which I know can get really tight, but most supermarket car parks are massive and have loads of space except for a few days before Christmas.

Although I know what you are going to say - you park in the middle of nowhere nd someone parks next to you...I know, I know, people are annoying and do exactly that. Not sure what the answer is.

But it's nobody else's business why someone is parked in a BB space. If you notice someone isn't displaying a blue badge you might report it to a passing traffic warden I suppose, but if someone has a blue badge they have a blue badge and that's the matter closed.

I think it's good that people enquire about the blue badge. too many cheeky fuckers about that abuse the disabled spaces

Nobody else's business. Why do people feel the need to police behaviour that doesn't affect them? I have a relative with a blue badge and if anyone decided to enquire about her entitlement to the blue badge when I was with her, they'd get a earful from me!

Who do people actually think they are?

@purpleboy

I think it's reasonable to ask if the person is walking away from their car with no blue badge on show, but if you can see the person hasn't finished getting out of the car then it's not ok as there is still a chance they will display a blue badge before they walk away, and also if there is a blue badge on display then defo no comments should be made due to the nature of hidden disabilities.

No it isn't reasonable to ask because it is nothing to do with you. At all.

My reply would be keep your nose out of business that doesn't concern you, feel free to go get the manager who I will happily speak to. As for a nobody off the street what I do or don't do is absolutely none of your business

@sueelleker

Financial status/earning capability doesn't suddenly make your legs work properly again, but why should a high-earner not 'be allowed' to spend their own money on an expensive, luxury car, should they wish to - just because they also have a disability? Because people think if you're disabled all you can do is sit indoors and watch the telly all day?

I agree, some people have some weird ideas about disabled people. It's almost as if those people are only happy when they can feel superior to disabled people, as if they are a "charity case".

I'm probably not explaining it well, but there is a distinct mindset in some people I've come across, as if you're not allowed to have money and be disabled.

This isn't directed at anyone on the thread, though. I've had people try to be patronising towards me on account of my hearing loss (I wear aids).

And yet, my job can easily be done by many disabled people. If you can use a computer, you can do my job, so of course there will be disabled people earning quite a bit.

Just tell them to fuck off. It's none of their business. I get sly eye looks when I'm using a disabled bay. Then they see my mum getting out of the passenger seat with a walking aid & they leave us alone. My mum has had several strokes & the right side of my her body is weak. But it's amazing the amount of people who think they have the right to challenge you.

Pps are missing that the OP didn't have the blue badge on display when she parked.
Visible or not, you should display the badge to park.

You are actually told not to display the badge until you do park so at what point do you think I should stop mid parking to get my badge out?

Oh and my car has hand controls so I'm operating the brake and accelerator with my hands and steering.

I never say anything, because I have been challenged numerous times (apparently you have to be 60+ or a permeant wheelchair user to have a BB) but I do wonder when you see an elderly person sitting in an empty car in the BB spaces at supermarkets.

but I do wonder when you see an elderly person sitting in an empty car in the BB spaces at supermarkets.

Infuriates me too because you suspect that they are the person to whom the badge is issued, and someone else is using it just to park nearer to the shop. Unfortunately there’s no way to get around that without challenging, and it could just as easily be the BB holder in the shop. It’s similar to the person who posted upthread about her disabled son parking in a blue badge space while she ‘just nipped’ into Wickes - the sense of ‘entitlement’ to park inappropriately from some badge holders is just as annoying as able bodied people misusing the spaces.

Myself and other posters have explained a hundred times now, why I wasn’t displaying the badge before I parked and I think it’s worth pointing out that the full title of the BB is disabled persons’ PARKING badge - you’re not meant to display it while you’re driving. The guidance is clear - after parking, display the badge and set the clock before leaving the car. That should be the end of it - which was the point of my original post. The questioning went on, even after I had shown this woman the badge and made it clear that I was the disabled person - it only stopped when she saw the wheelchair. This is happening much more frequently since the pandemic - every tom dick and harry seems to think they’re entitled to sit in judgement on whether you’re actually entitled to use the badge you’re bloody-well holding !! And judging by the replies on the thread, I’m not the only one who’s noticed the change.

FWIW I have absolutely no problem with challenging people who walk away from a car without displaying a BB if they’re parked in a disabled spot - on the rare occasions I’ve seen it, I’ve pointed out that they have ‘forgotten’ to put the badge up. Genuine people will go back and do it. The CF’s either ignore me or just tell me to fuck off. No point in complaining to customer services any more because supermarket car parks are run by private companies these days, so the supermarkets themselves don’t police the bays.

There’s talk of us following some EU countries in doing away with the BB and embedding the disabled driver entitlement into the number plate instead - all that’s required is for the disabled person to set the clock. Traffic enforcement would be able to identify the entitlement from a search, but it wouldn’t be immediately obvious to joe public. Not sure if this will make it better or worse TBH.

I don’t like the idea of it being linked to just the car. Ds is a blue badge holder so my car would be the one that was registered but he sometimes goes out with my mum so then he wouldn’t be able to use the BB parking?

Likewise if someone else is using the car that system would make it much easier to abuse

Agreed, Sirzy - however well-meaning the scheme may be, it's still just another way of limiting disabled people's options and prescribing an 'expected' restricted way for them to live that nobody would try to impose on an AB person.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Agreed, Sirzy - however well-meaning the scheme may be, it's still just another way of limiting disabled people's options and prescribing an 'expected' restricted way for them to live that nobody would try to impose on an AB person.

I agree. It’s based on the assumption that the disabled person is the only user so there would have to be restrictions on the use of the car itself - similar to the motability scheme rules - rather than just the badge. To my mind it would be more open to abuse because on the face of it, there’s no way to tell if the entitlement is there or not, so it just enables the CF’s !!

I don't favour linking it to just the car either.

My mother is a blue badge holder. She doesn't have a car as she can no longer drive. She relies on my sister, myself or sometimes friends to take her into town. None of us would be badge holders ourselves, but she can display her badge in our cars and we can park in the disabled bays for her benefit.

Linking it to only particular vehicles, or one car, would surely limit options too much for disabled people.

Definitely don't favour linking it to a specific car - this would totally limit a disabled person's freedom to accept lifts from other people.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

I think these people honestly think they are doing a Good Thing and protecting disabled rights. Instead they end up as bullies.

If they want to be the 'parking police' they should report empty cars with no blue badge showing rather than trying to police other peoples disabilities. Its not always obvious. Young people and children can have disabilities, not just older people. And they can drive whatever car they like.

I agree with this.

I was sitting in a car with the door open, visibly putting my blue badge in the windscreen while DP fetched a trolley, and a women of about 30 stopped walking and peered in and stared at my legs - really looking them up and down, presumably looking for calipers or god knows what to suit her particular mind-frame.

DP reappeared just as I was saying, 'What the fuck ...?' and she hurried off to catch up with her family.

The blue badge was visible. Any common sense she had, not so much.

This thread made me think of this case- a solicitor this week in toruble for abusing these parking things:

"Junior lawyer suspended over blue badge parking deceit

26 August 2021

A tribunal has suspended a solicitor caught parking with a disabled blue badge just weeks after she had qualified.

Nina Koushi was caught by an Ealing Council fraud investigator parking her car in a disabled space in November 2019 using a badge to which she was not entitled. She then told the investigator the badge belonged to her father before admitting that was not true.

Following an agreed outcome with the SRA, the Solicitors Disciplinary Tribunal opted to suspend Koushi for six months, accepting that while she had been dishonest, the case did not warrant striking her from the roll.

The tribunal heard that Koushi, who was admitted as a solicitor in September 2019, was employed as an associate solicitor with south east firm McMillan Williams, who later merged with Taylor Rose TTKW Limited.

Koushi avoided a parking fee by using a badge reported lost

Her white Mercedes was spotted in Ealing in a disabled parking bay displaying the blue badge. The badge had been issued to a man in his 60s but had been cancelled after it was reported lost.

When Koushi returned to the vehicle and was met by the investigator, she initially said it was her dad’s, then said it was her friend’s dad’s. She confirmed she had put the badge on display for one day only and that she at all other times paid the £4 daily charge for parking on that street.

She was fined £1,125 at Ealing Magistrates’ Court after admitting using a blue disabled person’s badge with intent to deceive.

In mitigation, not agreed by the SRA, Koushi explained she had been needing to find a space to get into the office quickly and had started to panic. Without thinking of the consequences, she had used the badge left in her car by someone else, and was now deeply ashamed and embarrassed by her actions. The tribunal also was shown a medical report that related to her condition at the time of the incident.

Koushi had remained as an employee with her firm and statements provided by some of her colleagues asserted this matter was completely out of character for her.

She agreed to pay £2,300 in costs."

The badge had been issued to a man in his 60s but had been cancelled after it was reported lost

she had used the badge left in her car by someone else

This is fishier than Billingsgate Market.

I really hope the "reported stolen" badge's issuing Council are all over this.

That report certainly seems to show a constant changing story from the person using the badge. Also the chances she really only used it that one time seem pretty low despite what she says.

I’ve got epilepsy and have a blue badge. I’ve also had people question me and at first I got really upset. Now when it happens this is what is do-

Nosy Parker- You don’t look disabled, where’s your BB (or words to that effect)

Me- May I see your local authority ID/parking attendant ID/police ID?

Nosy Parker- Why?

Me- the only people with the right to challenge whether I can park here are those people. Unless you can show me appropriate ID then stop harassing me or I’ll be calling the Police 👮‍♀️ 😂

Always works and scares off the busybodies!

@Lweji

Pps are missing that the OP didn't have the blue badge on display when she parked. Visible or not, you should display the badge to park.

The other lady was probably too aggressive, I'm sure, but I've seen enough twats on disabled bays (exH included).

You can’t have the BB on when you are doing a parking manoeuvre, it will fall off the dashboard when the car’s moving I only place mine on the dashboard once the car has fully stopped with the handbrake on.

Another BB story
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9942931/Amputee-asked-prove-hes-disabled-parking-officials-shares-sarcastic-letter-GP.html

Surely he needs the badge for the days he cannot manage ?

Don't people realise that conditions can be very variable?
Some days I'm sure he can walk well on his prosthetic leg, but it won't be all days, otherwise he'd not have applied for a BB in the first place.

"Why don't you just fuck off" would be a perfectly acceptable response.

@JustinOtherdad

"Why don't you just fuck off" would be a perfectly acceptable response.

Tempting.

@BlankTimes

Another BB story www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9942931/Amputee-asked-prove-hes-disabled-parking-officials-shares-sarcastic-letter-GP.html

Surely he needs the badge for the days he cannot manage ?

Don't people realise that conditions can be very variable?
Some days I'm sure he can walk well on his prosthetic leg, but it won't be all days, otherwise he'd not have applied for a BB in the first place.

I saw a story on Reddit where someone who was challenged in this way unstrapped his prosthetic leg and asked "is this disabled enough for you?".