Waiting to die

[NCNC101]

Does anyone else feel like they’re just waiting to die? I don’t mean feeling like you actively want to end your life, more that you just don’t care about anything anymore and wouldn’t be bothered at all if you died right now?

I’m not suicidal but I do feel like this quite often, although I would definitely never do it. It’s like I care so little about everything, including dying, that I’ll just passively do nothing until my time is up. I wonder sometimes if more people feel like this than care to admit. I think a lot of people that know me might be shocked if they knew I felt like this.

Yes I know what you mean. It all feels like one big long stretch left to endure. How is your mental health generally?

Is that not depression?

I think more people feel like this than they admit - I know I do. I have chronic disabilities and feel I’ve done everything I need / want to do with my life (I’m 40s) and the only thing keeping me going is my two children. But I don’t really feel depressed- I’ve been depressed before and this is different, it’s just a very pragmatic feeling that I’m getting older and things that mattered to me before don’t matter so much. I enjoy aspects of my life, I’m not “down” as such but I feel like life is a very fleeting thing and you get to a certain point as you get older where it’s just “keeping going”.

I have felt the same thing, and I'm sorry you and others do, too. I've been thinking that if I die, that would be ok, like in an accident or so, not actively, by my own hand. That might be natural at 90, but not at 50. It's depression speaking, and it can be treated. Please seek help.

That doesn't sound normal to me, I'd definitely call the GP.

I don't think this is a normal way to feel at all, and for all those who do I hope you are able to access some help and feel better soon

I think you should consider that you might be depressed.

You sound very depressed. Please consult your GP. Meanwhile, could you try to find joy in simple things, like sunlight, walking, enjoying a nice coffee and good food? Do you have people in your life that you enjoy seeing?

@DDIJ

Yes. If I could socialise or even just go for a walk it would be ok but I am just meant to stay in and do housework, not pursue any interests. I am in no way suicidal but I don't see the point in existing like this.

Why can’t you go for a walk?

@DDIJ this is a blunt question - why can’t you do those things??

I have felt like this when I've been going through a major depressive episode, listless existence. Please speak to a GP and do whatever you can to get out of the rut you are in if you can (I know that is incredibly hard to do when you are in a "whats the point anymore" mindframe, but please do it). Life is not meant to feel like this. There is no shame in taking medication either, medication has helped my shift that mental boulder more than once. Xxx

I’ve been feeling like this but I do struggle with chronic depression on and off and this is usually a sign for me that my depression is creeping back in. I’m don’t think it’s “normal” but I do see it as “normal when I’m getting depressed” if you see what I mean. I’d seek help if I were you.

I do think repeated lockdowns and the stress of the pandemic haven’t helped with this feeling!

Also agree with others about DDIJ, why can’t you go for a walk?! And who says you are only meant to do housework? This sounds suspicious of an overly controlling partner/domestic abuse, just so you know.

I feel the complete opposite. At 50 in very aware that I'm over half way through. I've been enjoying myself and time has flown! There is so much I still want to do and see and experience! I really want to stay healthy to ensure this can happen.
Please check in with a GP. Life is a gift.

I agree DDIJ
If someone is
stopping you from living your life you need some support.

@Bagelsandbrie you are not getting older, you’re in your 40’s!!!!! You’re possibly not even half way through your life

[quote Travielkapelka]@Bagelsandbrie you are not getting older, you’re in your 40’s!!!!! You’re possibly not even half way through your life[/quote]
Not true in my case, as my health conditions are life shortening and debilitating. I’m not saying that to be depressive. It’s just the truth. I’m likely to live till about 60 if I’m lucky.

How old are you?

it does sound like depression;

hopeless feeling
no enjoyment in anything

see your GP/call someone for some help op

Hi OP,

Sorry you are feeling that way. That is how I felt when I was depressed. I think you would benefit from seeing your GP who could advise you and things that could help.

I do.
I'm not going to do anything, but I'll be glad when it's over iyswim

I feel like this. I'm not depressed, I'm just fed up and can't be arsed working out what to do to change things. As such I keep on living the same dreary existence. I need to never see or hear about covid again!

You need help, @NCNC101, because the way you are feeling is definitely not normal. Start by reading some books about positive thinking and the like, ask your GP for a low dose antidepressant, maybe try CBT, focus on things that give you joy, start a new hobby like painting, listen to music that speaks to you......... and so on. Just don't wallow in these horrible feelings.

Go for walks. And exercise! Try some YouTube workouts - Lucy Wyndham Read, Rebecca Louise, Sydney Cummings, Pamela Reif... there's lots of them out there. Exercising is one of the best ways of banishing those dark thoughts

@Bagelsandbrie
Has summed up how I feel. Every day is full of agonising pain made far worse by the Covid vaccine. I am disabled and debilitated. I cannot live a normal life and only live because I have a Dd. My aim is to get her to adulthood. I had major surgery (the first in a series) a few years ago and made a will, secretly hoping I would die on the table as I was so ill.