Would a 28 year old living at home put you off?

[nales]

Met this great guy. Has a good job etc, but still lives at home to save money for a house.

Would that put you off? What should I look out for ?

@Cheeseplantboots

No, definitely not. My brother is 36 and still at home. He’s absolutely lovely and not weird or odd. He could easily move out but the house is huge and my parents are rarely there.

Why wouldn't he want his own place though at nearly 40?

A 28 year old living at home will not put me off as long as he is working full time and reliable and not pissing about gaming and drinking etc and does his own laundry and fair share of household work.

DH was still living at home at the age of 29 when we first got together.
It never occured to me to think anything was up with this.
Right from the start he has treated me amazingly well, absolutely pulls more than his fair share in house work and raising the boys and it is clear that we are his priority. He is adored by us all and the extended family. We have been together 31 years.
So in answer to your question, no it would not ( or should I say didn't) put me off someone still living at home at that age.

DH's reason was that he and his long term girlfriend ( who he didn't live with) split up the year before.

@AllAroundTheWorldYeah

Huge red flag. There is no way I would live with a guy who has never lived independently - never had to do his own laundry, never had to clean the house, never had to pay his own bills. Hell no!

OP says he lived independently at University so presumably his mother (although he jokes about sending washing home) didn't cook or clean for him then? Or pay his bills?

Take a look at some of the threads around here. Lots of men "Who are lovely" but lazy and don't do housework, child care etc.
This is why.

Even in this post there's people having to "Retrain" grown adult human men... Wtf..
Why would you do that when there's men that don't need to be mummied until they learn to live properly?

I could not do it I am afraid. Any man that would get my interest must be grown and mature enough to not need me teaching him how being an adult works.

Definitely. I wouldn’t consider dating someone who was living with parents beyond 20-21, unless they were living with a parent that needed care and providing that care. Even then I’d tread carefully as it would be hard to envisage starting a life together while they already had such a big responsibility.

This wouldn’t put me off at all. I met my husband at 25 and married at 30 . He lived at home throughout. We built our home without a mortgage so it has its advantages.
It’s very common in Ireland to stay at home until you either get married or buy a house.

@Debetswell

When my female cousin was a single late twenties teacher my aunt used to wait on her hand and foot. I have vivid memories of summer holidays, I was 12, cousin 27. My cousin would lie on a sunbed all day. I never saw her help my aunt at all. And yet on MN men are always pilloried for living at home. I honestly wish I'd had a mum like my aunt. I did more housework than my dm when I was a teen. 6 weeks doing nothing, sounds bliss.

I’d judge the heck out of her and not want to date her either.

28 year old man saving hard for a mortgage and pulling his weight at home = fine

28 year old manchild who can't tell one side of a cooker from the other and who pisses his money away on lads' nights = unattractive

@nales

Hmmm mum does all of that still, I think.

Then it would be a clear and unequivocal "No".

My husband did work on the family farm so not much point moving out.

I guess it depends on whether he’s actually saved money. I don’t necessarily see it as a red flag, depends how open he is to doing this stuff when he does move out. Does he at least change his own bed?

My DH was 29 when he moved out of his mums.

He is more house trained than me to be honest, really depends on how he was brought up. My DH was made to do chores from a young age whereas I never was , so even though I was younger when I moved out he had more life skills than me at the time.

But given you refer to them as "man jobs", then perhaps you're happy to take the mummy role in the relationship. Just don't expect sex to be a blast.

Yes it would bother me but for nothing logical more than the ick factor. Having sex with a parent in the house at that age is just… no.

When I met my partner he had only just moved out a month before as he had been living with his parents to save for a house. He had moved out before and moved back in due to a relationship breakdown.

I was also living with my parents when I met him due to a relationship breakdown. We were in our mid 30s

Find out how much money he has saved ?

@Sparklingbrook Many universities offer a flat rate which includes bills and a cleaner.

“Man jobs”.

Urgh. Nope.

Weird replies.
All these women saying its far too old to be still living at home!
Times have changed. You need large savings to pay for a deposit and fees when house buying. Prices are going up, so unless all the lads are earning mega bucks then it takes a long time to save up to move out if they want to buy a house.
Who wouldn't stay at home and save as much as possible before moving out. It's sensible.
As for the housework etc. I didn't work so didn't mind doing the kids washing etc. That doesn't mean they couldn't look after themselves when we were away on holiday.
They moved out and were perfectly capable of doing housework and cooking.
Everybody's different OP. Some young people can't wait to get away from their families whereas others live in a happy home and are content to wait. I wouldn't let it affect your judgement.

Not at all.

From personal experience the issue would be the relationship they have with their parents. Are they enmeshed or do they have a grown up relationship where they are independent. First husband - enmeshed, pampered golden son, thought he had married a housework fairy not a woman. MIL was hideous. Second husband - independent, everyone respected each other - fab husband who fully understands what happens to manage a house and takes his share of the mental load. MIL - bloody lovely.

It might tbh depending on the circumstances

Even if he is pulling his weight at home and really saving money he must be close with his family to live like this for so long, so I would want to know what their relationship is like and what his parents are like and so on. He will probably want to continue to have a close relationship with them even after he moves out so that has to be something you could be happy with.

If he is still living at home so that he can save £££ for a house and future of his own, then I think that is very sensible. Definitely more attractive than somebody who has overstretched themselves £££ too early and cannot/will not enjoy any quality time with you.
So it wouldn't put me off necessarily. Depends if he is actually saving money for his future, or splurging the savings on crap whilst he doesn't have bills. That WOULD be a no-no for me.

No. He’s being sensible. Saving for a home

I lived at home till 26. Till got own place

What’s his plan. Save for a year /two etc