Would a 28 year old living at home put you off?

[nales]

Met this great guy. Has a good job etc, but still lives at home to save money for a house.

Would that put you off? What should I look out for ?

New builds needing only a 5% deposit

5% of what price?

A lot of them are military too so were earning a good wage

And presumably living in subsidised military quarters enabling them to save.

@DupontsLark

New builds needing only a 5% deposit

5% of what price?

A lot of them are military too so were earning a good wage

And presumably living in subsidised military quarters enabling them to save.

None of them paid anything more than 200k. I'd say considerably less. About 150k. Used Government help to buy and equity loans too.

And you presumed wrong. We're the only couple in military quarters actually None of the others have ever lived in them.

@Jerseygirl12 when we were living with family, hubby and I saved £60k over 3 years. So that is around £1666 per month. Add the £10k savings my husband had prior to meeting me, it was enough for a 15% deposit on a London flat. Bearing in mind we were on lower incomes for half of that time.

If I could save my rent, bear in mind I'm a social tenant, I'd save £6000 ish a year.
That's a lot of money, 6 or 7 years of just saving that should be more than enough for a first time buy deposit in most areas.

I live outside the UK. It's very common for adult sons to stay at home until they get married. It's a sensible thing to gain money why not?

Ds lives at home aged 25 he went to uni for three years and stayed an extra year working in his uni town. Came home when his housemates all finished their courses and he could not afford to live there on his own, got a job for four months then went travelling for six months, came home after, got another job but lived here to save to go travelling again. Its no problem for us, he pays keep monthly, we love him, love his company he is capable of doing chores, is a good cook and keeps stuff tidy. He works full time so i do tend to do most things, he would do his own washing but i don’t see the point in running the washer twice when it can go in with ours, its not a massive chore for me, neither is cooking as i am retired now, DS and DH do the clearing up and both take a turn cooking whenever i cant be bothered. All in all we have a comfy and friendly existence, he is in his room a lot or out with his mates, we always eat dinner together (unless he is out) and most weekends if he is in he will come and watch something with us, if there is football on he will sit with his dad and watch it. He is a great individual and as soon as the world is open again will be off for another long trip, no doubt coming home after that again, i do wonder at what stage in life he will settle down and buy his own place, he would like to, but travel is his first love and we actually love that he gets to live his life this way. I would hate to think any prospective girlfriends would judge him for this!

I met someone who was 31 and still loving at home, I should have ran a mile. His mum did everything for him including making his bed. He moved into my house, when I kicked him out, he moved back in with his parents. He now lives with his wife, new born baby and in laws. Been there for about 2 years. Do not get involved.

No, I'm 26 and know tonnes of people who live at home (they pay rent but are saving for homes of their own).

Oh the lack of chores would bother me only because I wouldn't be willing to step in as 'mum' if we moved in together

A man that can't cook at nearly 30 is deeply unattractive.

My son is 34 and finally saved enough for me deposit and moving into his own house next week. He has been living in loft extension, does his own cooking and laundry and cooks for us once a week. Does some of shopping. Saves a good chunk of his salary every morning month towards deposit. Still goes out with friends and actually we hardly see him.

Living at home while saving for a deposit = good idea.

Living at home while saving for a deposit but mummy is doing his washing, mes, etc = embarrassing.

I was married, worked full time, owned my home for 7 years and had a baby by that age, so perhaps I am seeing it from my experience.

Meals*

It's so hard for people to move out at the minute. The housing crisis is scary. Private rent is through the roof. Where I live houses are being bought for stupid amounts.

But it really depends. If he's living at home and still heavily relying on parents then that what put me off. But if they had a job had some independence then no it wouldn't.

I met Dp when he was 33. He was living with his mum. Admittedly he hadn't lived there consistently. He had moved out got a flat when he was early twenties but sold it on a few years later to move closer to his family and girlfriend but couldn't afford to live there as was an expensive area. Moved in with his girlfriends family then when they split he went back to his mums then he met me. Then we bought a house!

jokes about taking washing home

Yeah, right. Some joke. ThTs embarrassment because he knows it's wrong and does it anyway.

I don't think I would want to share with anyone who had never lived independently because I think that subconsciously they would think I was 'the mother'.

The 'joke' I would take to be a straw in the wind. I'd include it in things to find out about my new partner, really find out not just ask and take his answer at face value.

think it depends. i 'live at home' but i'm a fully functioning independant adult who does all her own cooking/washing/housework... its more of a houseshare, and i do more for the parental unit in terms of care than they do for me.

If he's operating like that, wouldn't be an issue.. if he was still a mummys boy, i'd have problems.

“ Ask him how he would clean a bathroom - products, methods, steps, etc. That should tell you a lot about whether he's an overgrown mummy's boy or a capable adult.”

Jesus! If anyone had quizzed me on my skills like some ridiculous test they’d be dumped.

Can you imagine “ask her how she’d put up shelves. Method materials etc. That’ll tell you if she’s a functioning adult”

Wouldn't even think about it to be honest.
A single person living at home is nobody's business especially in this day and age,
I only judge people on how they are as a person. Not on what they own or what they have experienced in life. Maybe that is just me.

Very much depends on the circumstances, and as mentioned things such as ability to cook, willingness to do housework etc.

Not at all!

Mn is probably the wrong place to ask. Some of them just are not in touch with reality and don't understand how an adult could still be at home.

@CirqueDeMorgue I can understand that with older people, it would be a definite red flag 20 years ago. But it is really common for people my age (I am in my 20s). And my generation has a much higher percentage of second generation immigrants compared to previous generations and in Asia, there is no stigma to living at home. In fact, its positively encouraged.

[quote onlychildhamster]@CirqueDeMorgue I can understand that with older people, it would be a definite red flag 20 years ago. But it is really common for people my age (I am in my 20s). And my generation has a much higher percentage of second generation immigrants compared to previous generations and in Asia, there is no stigma to living at home. In fact, its positively encouraged.[/quote]
Yep. I think many here don't realise how privileged they are, especially the ones who couldn't maintain their lifestyles on just their own salaries.

If he's great and you like him, go for it. If things develop just make sure he knows that cohabiting means sharing the load.

And whatever you do, don't quiz him on how he'd clean a bloody bathroom! If anyone did that to me I really would run for the hills.