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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal for adult to nap every afternoon?

331 replies

Menomeany · 23/08/2021 19:33

First time poster here...please tell me AIBU.
DH takes himself off for a nap every afternoon...he works from home (but NOT self-employed) and has lots of what I call 'downtime', as opposed to my job which is flippin full on for every second I am there. Sometimes he'll nap for 30 mins, but can be up to 2 hours. If we go out for a day, he will nap in car on way home (he does not drive so I'm always the one doing the driving) On weekends activities are limited due to his need for a nap. Jobs that need doing don't get done. AIBU to feel this is such a waste of a life to sleep it away like this? He is not even 50 yet...what does the future hold?

OP posts:
LeonieSims · 24/08/2021 01:06

Even when I was a single mum, it wouldn't be unheard of for me to nap in the afternoon if my DD was sat watching a film or playing on her Nintendo Switch. Love a nice nap. My mum was the same.

LeonieSims · 24/08/2021 01:10

It makes me feel awful to sleep in the day and disturbs night time sleep.

Working on statistics, it is better for the majority of people, as has been shown in studies. That doesn't mean it works for everyone, but it also doesn't make it a bad habit or lazy or unhealthy on its own.

Nat6999 · 24/08/2021 01:11

When ds was at primary school I used to get parked up by 2.15, recline the car seat & have 45 minutes nap before going & waiting to collect ds. I have a nap most afternoons now, usually 3-4pm, I have ME/CFS & Fibromyalgia so have very low energy levels.

languagelover96 · 24/08/2021 01:13

He may wish to consider narcolepsy testing.. I have type 2 and I do have to sleep a lot.

Farevalah · 24/08/2021 01:24

I normally go to bed around 2am then up at 7ish. I normally have a nap around 6pm, anything between half an hour to 2 hours. Love my naps, I don't sleep well so really need them. Apparently DH says I snore really loudly 😴

TheTempest · 24/08/2021 01:42

I nap. I do have chronic health conditions and chronic pain though. I think I get so exhausted as my body and brain are having to manage the pain all the time so I need more sleep. I have just asked the doctors for blood tests and I’m waiting for results though as I have had a marked decline in energy levels recently.

With your DH having sleep apnoea though, my dad has severe SA I think my entire childhood. He got a CPAP machine and it genuinely was life
Changing for him. He had lots of other health issues by that point too but still made a huge difference. Get him to get chasing them OP!

Plumtree391 · 24/08/2021 01:54

I could easily have had an afternoon nap if not at work, when I was younger. Now I struggle to sleep at night, never mind during the day. I envy those who can.

elp30 · 24/08/2021 02:05

I have literally just woken up from one and I feel great!
I do close my eyes and lay down for 20 minutes every day but I don't always sleep. I just literally rest. I feel much better afterwards and I'm definitely more clear-headed throughout the day.
I sleep very well at night.

anonforamo · 24/08/2021 02:50

They say napping daily is a very healthy sleep habit!

Not sure with work 2 hours is ideal unless poorly, but can't seem the harm in 20-40 minutes. I have a family member whose a midwife and that's definitely how she copes with a busy and demanding career and parenthood, even on the nights she hasn't had broken sleep.

Firebird83 · 24/08/2021 04:41

I love napping! I could sleep anywhere. I don’t drink coffee though so I wonder if that’s why.

Pixxie7 · 24/08/2021 05:40

I had a friend who did this but then tended to stay up late at night it turned out that she was quite severally depressed.

Megameg56 · 24/08/2021 06:15

A nap longer than 10 min.is bad.He should see a doctor!

violetbunny · 24/08/2021 06:26

If the nasal strips help, get him to try a nasal dilator. Much more effective.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 24/08/2021 06:29

OP that's quite a drip feed! I hope your DH manages to get treated soon.

I meditate regularly (only 10 minutes at a time) - I'm definitely not asleep, but maybe that's why I don't feel the need to sleep during the day.

chickychicchic · 24/08/2021 06:33

If I have time I will have a nap but it's rare I do find myself getting very sleepy though so I'm glad I'm not the only one

Finknottlesnewt · 24/08/2021 06:34

Another sleep apnoea sufferer here. But mine was caused by obesity so NHS gave me a gastric bypass and cured me ! Absolutely fantastic.. but before the OP I had to use a cpap machine which I bloody hated.

However ... there are lots of other lifestyle choices he can make. While he waits. Giving up alcohol would be a good step.

Why doesn't he drive ? Seems very selfish unless there is a medical reason he can't . In just the same way that it's selfish to leave all the driving to the man (seen on here a lot - as though a magic penis gives you some sort of clever ability to drive)

FatAnkles · 24/08/2021 06:38

I work shifts. Wake up at 5am to go to work. Home at 4om, one hour nap, then get dinner on. It helps to extend my evening a bit.

pilates · 24/08/2021 07:18

When I first read your thread I thought YANBU but after reading your updates YABU. I would be worried and chasing regularly for appointment.

ActonSquirrel · 24/08/2021 07:33

Not those with apnoea of course, but you get one life. That's it

You want to spend your days napping daily. Jesus. Plenty of time for that when I'm old and infirm. Until then...

Hekatestorch · 24/08/2021 07:49

@ActonSquirrel

Not those with apnoea of course, but you get one life. That's it

You want to spend your days napping daily. Jesus. Plenty of time for that when I'm old and infirm. Until then...

Yes. I am happy spending my life having a nap. For me it's ine of life's pleasures. I indulge in that pleasure most days.

It makes me happy. Why is that wasting my life?

I am up ridiculously early, every morning. I usually average about 5 hours during the night. I love being up when everyone else is asleep. That to me is a wonderful way to spend my time.

That's like me saying 'oh my god, people who sleep past 5am. You only get one life. Why are you wasting it bed? If you don't get up before sunrise every day, it's just a waste of life. Being up when the world is quiet is wonderful.....all do as I think you should. Doesn't matter if you like sleeping past 5 or enjoy a sleep in til 8/9/10 etc. Do that when you are old'

Or we could all accept we are all different.

ActonSquirrel · 24/08/2021 07:52

I have a 5:30am alarm and work all day. I still don't need a nap.

But as you say if time spent unconscious during the day makes you happy so be it

Original poster
Menomeany · 24/08/2021 07:56

Not sure what is meant by 'drip feed' for those saying this? Surely the whole point of discussion is to explore and raise potential issues that you may not have recognised the relevance of.

OP posts:
JustLyra · 24/08/2021 07:56

@Menomeany

He's waiting for appointment...has been told severe apnoea. Uses those nasal strips at moment, helps a bit. I'm in spare room.
He has an untreated serious health issue.

Would you have a go at something with MS or narcolepsy or another health issue if they needed a nap in the day?

Hekatestorch · 24/08/2021 07:57

@ActonSquirrel

I have a 5:30am alarm and work all day. I still don't need a nap.

But as you say if time spent unconscious during the day makes you happy so be it

5.30? That's far too late. Wasting half an hour a day? Slow clap for needing an alarm though. That's not that unusual.

Do you see how that works? People who enjoy a nap are not wasting anything. Because they enjoy it.

People who need it for medical reasons, need it. So not wasting anything. If its a waste for you. Then don't do it.

But no need to be so judgy

ActonSquirrel · 24/08/2021 08:01

@Hekatestorch you OK hun. Why are you taking my original comment that was not directed at you or anyone specifically so personally. Sarcastic comments like slow clapping ....what's wrong with you.

Go back to bed the nap might cheer you up Grin

Lots of love xxxxx

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