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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal for adult to nap every afternoon?

331 replies

Menomeany · 23/08/2021 19:33

First time poster here...please tell me AIBU.
DH takes himself off for a nap every afternoon...he works from home (but NOT self-employed) and has lots of what I call 'downtime', as opposed to my job which is flippin full on for every second I am there. Sometimes he'll nap for 30 mins, but can be up to 2 hours. If we go out for a day, he will nap in car on way home (he does not drive so I'm always the one doing the driving) On weekends activities are limited due to his need for a nap. Jobs that need doing don't get done. AIBU to feel this is such a waste of a life to sleep it away like this? He is not even 50 yet...what does the future hold?

OP posts:
Meh2020 · 23/08/2021 22:06

Hi OP,
Havent read all the comments but wondered if your husband was the man who was napping in the giraffe house at London Zoo today? If so well done on keeping the kids quiet whilst he was asleep flat out on the bench…

C8H10N4O2 · 23/08/2021 22:07

@Menomeany

He's waiting for appointment...has been told severe apnoea. Uses those nasal strips at moment, helps a bit. I'm in spare room.
What is the appointment he still needs? Has he been assessed by the sleep clinic yet (with the electrodes and stuff)? If not does he have an actual diagnosis or just the referral as it is likely? Usually the CPAP device issue/training is around the same time as the sleep clinic tests.

If he has always napped it may perfectly well be habit aggravated by a year at home with less exercise possibly? If it is confirmed apnoea a CPAP machine can return him to normal pretty quickly and its by no means automatically a ban from learning to drive or currently the cause of his napping habit - the condition varies hugely, for some the impact is very slight for others its massive. The sleep clinic assessments should give some indication in conjunction with assessing his symptoms.

BSideBaby · 23/08/2021 22:08

surely most functional adults with jobs, kids, responsibilities don’t have time to crash out for the afternoon like a hungover student?!

A nap is usually only for twenty minutes or so. Some of us need it to recharge our batteries and there really isn't anything wrong with that.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 23/08/2021 22:12

I love quick in chair nap (git comfy pc chair😁). Just feet up and 10-15 min. Ooooh so goooood.

I am fully functioning adult with a job. Beauty of being an adult is that I can decide what I want to do, including naps😁

onelostsoulswimminginafishbowl · 23/08/2021 22:13

People saying that it's not normal smacks of 'it's not British therefore its abnormal'

I don't personally nap but I come from a culture that does and my entire family naps during the day. Its VERY normal in many cultures and countries.

Hdhdjejdj · 23/08/2021 22:13

I napped when I had very young children then started again when the menopause happened. I have never known tiredness like it.

wheresmymojo · 23/08/2021 22:15

I'd bloody love a nap every afternoon and could definitely have one and still sleep at night BUT I don't get time for a nap on work days and at weekends I only have one sometimes.

I'm on meds that make me sleepy though!

Dixiechickonhols · 23/08/2021 22:16

Sleep apnea?

billy1966 · 23/08/2021 22:17

@Menomeany

I just find it so irritating when I am so busy all the time I suppose. Take today for example, we are on hols, I drove us all for a morning out (we have teens) 1 hour drive there, we mooch about for a bit, boat trip, drive 1 hour back. He napped all the way home, got back to cottage and he states he's going to lie down for a bit. 1 hour later arises and opens beer, sits in garden on lounger to sun self. I get that we're on hols at moment but this is standard every weekend.
I couldn't bear to live with that. He sounds incredible lazy. Flowers
Dixiechickonhols · 23/08/2021 22:19

Sleep apnea is serious. Does he have work health insurance to see someone privately. Seriously don’t underestimate it.

RampantIvy · 23/08/2021 22:23

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband @youboozeyoulose Flowers

The doctors have no idea why DH has sleep apnoea @Menomeany. He is underweight, but a sleep study showed that he was having 50 non breathing episodes an hour, and he was told it was the worst case of sleep apnoea they had ever seen.

He only went to the GP after lots of nagging from me. He has had a silent stroke, and to this day we have no idea whether the stroke was caused by the sleep apnoea or whether the sleep apnoea was caused by the stroke. Either way it is something that should never be ignored or downplayed.

I hope your DM doesn't drive @ActonSquirrel.

billy1966 · 23/08/2021 22:24

Apologies, for some reason the whole thread didn't come up.

If he has sleep apnea then that would definitely cause a bit of that.

A year ago our friend went to hospital to be assessed overnight and they were shocked as he was completely stopping breathing for a dangerous length of time.

He now has a machine and his life has been transformed.
He looks 10 years younger, his colour is excellent and the bags under his eyes have completely disappeared..
His energy levels are through the roof.

Worth pushing hard for.Flowers

Terzani · 23/08/2021 22:25

My husband used to sleep like this, in fact he could barely function without at least 1-2 hours of sleep every afternoon. Turned out he has diabetes.

wheresmymojo · 23/08/2021 22:26

I've just seen about the sleep apnoea....I mean, yeah. The poor bloke needs to sleep at some point and has a serious, as yet untreated, health condition.

Bagamoyo1 · 23/08/2021 22:27

@BSideBaby

surely most functional adults with jobs, kids, responsibilities don’t have time to crash out for the afternoon like a hungover student?!

A nap is usually only for twenty minutes or so. Some of us need it to recharge our batteries and there really isn't anything wrong with that.

But some people are saying they sleep for 2 hours, or all afternoon!
SwimmingUnderwater · 23/08/2021 22:32

My mother used to sleep every afternoon for a couple of hours when I was a child. She still does it now. I think it’s deeply strange myself. Why should an adult need to sleep In the afternoons? Unless you are a shift worker it is very odd.

Junepassing · 23/08/2021 22:34

I do this. I work two full days a week so the other days I'll have a nap in the afternoon for an hour and a half. I think I got into the habit when my dog started inexplicably waking me up between 4 and 5am every morning! Now it's kind of stuck and I wake early and go to bed quite late and my days are quite busy so it's just easier to do stuff late afternoon and in the evening when I've had a rest, otherwise I'm dozing off by 9pm!

CorianderBee · 23/08/2021 22:38

DP used to nap a lot. Turned out he was low on B12 and wasn't getting enough calories. He barely ever naps now we've adjusted those. He used to get exhausted by 3pm - and I mean you could see it in his face, his under eyes would suddenly go dark like a bruise.

Maybe get him some iron and B12 supplements. See if it helps?

Auntycorruption · 23/08/2021 22:40

My DH naps regularly but he is also seriously chronically ill.

It doesn't make it (much) less annoying that there is a reason for it when I'm left with all driving, housework, childcare etc.

Solidarity OP!

wheresmymojo · 23/08/2021 22:40

But some people are saying they sleep for 2 hours, or all afternoon!

Lots of us (I nap at the weekend and sometimes it's an hour and sometimes it's all afternoon) have various chronic health conditions though.

And even if we didn't have chronic health conditions, if everything is getting done that needs to be done...what's the problem?

I mean it's a nap, not crack or meth.

Letsbekindplease · 23/08/2021 22:41

I cherish a nap. An afternoon nap is the god of sleeps. Can’t wait for my nap tomorrow already. 2 hours when my little one sleeps. Bliss

wheresmymojo · 23/08/2021 22:43

@SwimmingUnderwater

My mother used to sleep every afternoon for a couple of hours when I was a child. She still does it now. I think it’s deeply strange myself. Why should an adult need to sleep In the afternoons? Unless you are a shift worker it is very odd.

I mean those of us without chronic conditions might not need to but then I'm teetotal and can't understand why other adults ever need to have an alcoholic drink.

Who needs to do anything beyond the basics of survival?

I think that's a weird way to look at life!

Bagamoyo1 · 23/08/2021 22:43

@wheresmymojo

But some people are saying they sleep for 2 hours, or all afternoon!

Lots of us (I nap at the weekend and sometimes it's an hour and sometimes it's all afternoon) have various chronic health conditions though.

And even if we didn't have chronic health conditions, if everything is getting done that needs to be done...what's the problem?

I mean it's a nap, not crack or meth.

If you saw my original post I said health conditions aside. Also I’m not saying it’s wrong as such, I’m just baffled that people have the time. Do they not have kids, jobs, families, life chores to do? Or maybe they’re like the OP’s husband, with a partner who does it all!
Peanutsandchilli · 23/08/2021 22:48

Nope, I couldn't even nap before a night shift, despite probably needing to. I don't think it's normal unless you're a baby or a pensioner.

CorianderBee · 23/08/2021 22:49

Oh just seen he has severe apnoea. It'll be that then.