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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal for adult to nap every afternoon?

331 replies

Menomeany · 23/08/2021 19:33

First time poster here...please tell me AIBU.
DH takes himself off for a nap every afternoon...he works from home (but NOT self-employed) and has lots of what I call 'downtime', as opposed to my job which is flippin full on for every second I am there. Sometimes he'll nap for 30 mins, but can be up to 2 hours. If we go out for a day, he will nap in car on way home (he does not drive so I'm always the one doing the driving) On weekends activities are limited due to his need for a nap. Jobs that need doing don't get done. AIBU to feel this is such a waste of a life to sleep it away like this? He is not even 50 yet...what does the future hold?

OP posts:
longtompot · 23/08/2021 22:52

My dh naps after dinner and still sleeps ok at night. Turns out he had severely blocked arteries and had to have stents fitted when he was 45 after his 'trapped nerve' was actually angina attacks!
He has high cholesterol which is not food related, he just has a lot of high cholesterol markers in his genes (had genetic testing as thought it was hereditary).
His cholesterol is at a much lower level but he still is shattered all the time. I suspect he has sleep apnea as he does stop breathing in his sleep and does snore a lot, and super loudly sometimes. He has mentioned it to his gp but I think he needs to chase this up.

wheresmymojo · 23/08/2021 22:55

I have a busy job so no chance to nap during the week Sad

No DC though so yeah...if I want a 3 hour nap on a Sunday afternoon I can have one

I haven't been able to have DC and this is one of the pay offs I take full advantage of (always look on the bright side and all that) Grin

Chores...meh...they can wait for waking hours!

NannyAndJohn · 23/08/2021 23:03

Is he really sleeping or using his "nap" as an excuse to get out of domestic chores?

justjuggling · 23/08/2021 23:04

I love a nap and would have one every afternoon if I wasn’t working. Usually nap at the weekends though.

FrangipaniBlue · 23/08/2021 23:04

@ActonSquirrel

God no. I tend to wake up groggy and headachy if I sleep in the day.
Me too!! Feel like shit for the rest of the day Confused

If I ever nap during the day it's a sure fire way of telling that I'm sick/coming down with something.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 23/08/2021 23:05

The man has untreated sleep apnea, so no, he's not lazy or trying to get out of chores, but he may have a stroke or an untimely death of a heart attack, if it's not treated, so please do make chasing that referral and going private a priority.

ddl1 · 23/08/2021 23:06

My first thought was 'could he have sleep apnoea and thus not get a proper night's sleep'? Now you've said that he does have it, so I'm sure that's the reason. I hope the doctor provides helpful solutions.

NotMyCat · 23/08/2021 23:08

I don't have DC but yes I have a job and nap! I sleep better in two blocks like the article linked above
I take 4 antihistamines a day which wipe me out plus low vitamin d, hashimotos and more autoimmune conditions
If I finish work at 4.30 I usually sleep 4.45 - 6.15 then up to have tea/shower/clean etc. At night I sleep generally around 5hrs so I only get 7hrs in total including the nap!

Vbree · 23/08/2021 23:14

I nap as much as I can but I don't sleep well at night but this is usually just at weekends. I don't let it interfere with normal day to day tasks though. Does he sleep ok at night?

cariadlet · 23/08/2021 23:16

I can't usually nap because I work full time but love it if I get a chance. DP and (teen) dd both enjoy a good nap as well. Going up to bed in the afternoon seems such a lovely indulgent luxury.

Research has shown that napping is good for you. I listened to an episode of the Freakenomics Radio podcast all about it.

freakonomics.com/podcast/napping/

cariadlet · 23/08/2021 23:23

Apologies for posting before I'd RTFT.

My dp had sleep apnoea. I have only skim read the thread so I might have missed this but is he overweight? Dp's sleep apnoea seemed to be linked to his size. He lost a lot of weight and has better quality sleep at night now.

DifferentHair · 23/08/2021 23:27

This would drive me mad.

It's one thing to plan your day around a child's nap schedule- but the idea of doing it for a grown man...forever?!

Does he otherwise pull his weight?

Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 23:31

He had machine to take home for a night and drop back next morning for them to analyse. A few weeks later he got letter stating that he has sleep apnoea - score in 40's (severe) Not heard another word since and that was about 2 months ago. He has called them but they blame delay on Covid, they are obviously not taking it as seriously as they should it seems, so therefore neither are we. Will get him to call again and insist on input, otherwise will go private.

OP posts:
Original poster
Menomeany · 23/08/2021 23:35

Hah! No not my DH, but seems there are others around!

OP posts:
ActonSquirrel · 23/08/2021 23:36

@Vbree

I nap as much as I can but I don't sleep well at night but this is usually just at weekends. I don't let it interfere with normal day to day tasks though. Does he sleep ok at night?
The napping might be stopping you sleeping well at night.

I would struggle to sleep a full night if I slept in the day.

RavingAnnie · 23/08/2021 23:37

Naps are very good for you. We should all be napping mid afternoon but culturally we don't do this. Cultures where midday napping is a thing are statistically healthier.

Having said that lots of daytime sleeps and falling asleep all the time can also be signs of sleep apnea.

DifferentHair · 23/08/2021 23:38

Just saw the sleep apnea update. Talk about drip feeding. Hmm

monotonousmum · 23/08/2021 23:39

Honestly wondered if I'd written this and forgotten about it!

I feel your pain. I've realised I'd also love a nap, but there's just too much to get done. There's a lot of resentment over him napping while I struggle to get stuff done.

memberofthewedding · 23/08/2021 23:44

I have a nap most afternoons but I am in my 70s.

ActonSquirrel · 23/08/2021 23:49

@RavingAnnie

Naps are very good for you. We should all be napping mid afternoon but culturally we don't do this. Cultures where midday napping is a thing are statistically healthier.

Having said that lots of daytime sleeps and falling asleep all the time can also be signs of sleep apnea.

No we all shouldn't Hmm

It makes me feel awful to sleep in the day and disturbs night time sleep.

I don't want to sleep I the bloody day

Mamanyt · 24/08/2021 00:10

The only reason that more adults don't nap is that we have been taught not to do so. That it is a waste of time. It is not, emphatically. Many companies in Japan now have designated nap rooms and scheduled nap breaks. They have noted a tremendous increase in their output, both amount and quality. It effectively gives workers two morning periods, which is the most productive time of day, when the worker is fresh and clear-headed.

BudrosBudrosGalli · 24/08/2021 00:21

That is super healthy and normal in many countries.

Singleorigincoffee · 24/08/2021 00:39

Probably would get his sleep apnea checked out but it sounds like he needs it. And better the chores undone and him being alive.

I recently been diagnosed with long term illness and one of the reasons it became long term was due to lack of sleep. Don't knock a nap. My life expectancy could be affected by it.

mofro · 24/08/2021 00:54

My DH started napping in the car - while Driving!! He got diagnosed with sleep apnoea - the machine measures how well he sleeps and the reading goes to the doctors or somewhere where it’s measured. He had to spend a night jn hospital to be monitored. Luckily this was all just before covid!

Has definitely changed his life for the better.

Hope your DH is ok.

LeonieSims · 24/08/2021 01:05

DP would prefer a 1-2 hour nap every afternoon. He wakes up about 6-7am and goes to bed anywhere between 11pm-1am. His ideal nap time would be around 3/4pm. It depends on what we are doing in the day though.

His job allows for this. He doesn't have to go into an office or be on a laptop all day. He manages a security service.

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