To buy the same item as a close friend?

[lucyli]

Firstly I apologise that this is the epitome of a first world problem. I acknowledge I am fortunate to have this problem and that there are many bigger things to worry about.

I have decided to make a high-end purchase from a well-known brand. I've never done this before but am at the stage in my life where I would like to do so.

I spend a long while researching, chose what I wanted and planned to head to the shops in a few days.

Was just chatting to a close friend and it turns out she has the exact same item and is annoyed that I'd buy the same and said she'd rather I didn't. I wasn't aware of this before.

I struggle to understand this mentality as it's not something that would concern me at all the other way around.

Her argument is that she didn't spend all that money, just to have someone close to her have the exact same item.

AIBU to buy it anyway? I was so pleased with the idea of having it and was excited to buy it.

Why would you spend £1000 on a bag that is literally everywhere (including market stalls with nasty fakes) In all honesty if you want to spend the money good on you, it’s your money, but personally I’d rather have something that not everyone has

It's funny how teenagers love to dress identically, wear the same shoes, jackets and carry the same bags (at least the ones where I live do) yet some adult women can't cope with the idea that anyone else could own an item the same as one they have.

I'd prob not buy it because I don't go in for expensive designer bags such a 'friend' would likely be the kind of person who would tell everyone I copied her and I can't be doing with petty childish nonsense. She will make a thing of this so on that basis I'd pick something else, and as you're already doing, question the kind of friend she really is if this is such a big deal to her.

Personally I'm with Mybalconyiscracking on this

@isthisareverse

I wonder what friends do all these posters have in real life, when they pretend they'll buy something just to spite someone else.

Glad the OP found better, it was such an obvious solution.

I wonder what kind of friends they have who get upset when their friends have the same taste in bags.

@MissMarpleTheMurderer

I dislike you Snoopy I normally read these threads and thank fuck that I have no taste and congratulate myself on not spending money, but they are gorgeous and following on from the birthday thread I've just treated myself to one for my birthday next month.

I hope you like it. Actually I'm sure you will love it. If it turns out you have the same one I bought, I won't hold it against you

@HarrietsweetHarriet

Buy a Mulberry or a fab leather Orla Kiely or something few others have. LV are so common and kind of obvious and so frequently faked. Opt for something really special and unique instead !

Mulberry bags are equally ubiquitous in the UK and ethically it is a brand to be avoided given Mike Ashley's involvement.

It's funny how teenagers love to dress identically, wear the same shoes, jackets and carry the same bags (at least the ones where I live do)

oh, it's a lot more complicated than that
Buying identical things together is one thing , but copying someone else is not advisable.

Do they do the bag in different colours? 😄 then not exactly the same!!

Those LV bags are ubiquitous so for me I don't understand why your friend was so bothered. If you've been thinking about something and researching a long time and it's a big purchase to you then you shouldnt be swayed. And I don't think she's a good friend for trying to influence your decision.

That said I'm pleased you found something different which you love even more, and bonus that it was cheaper!

Glad you’ve found a more suitable bag OP.
That LV one looks like something you’d buy on a market stall in Spain.
Must admit, I can’t imagine spending £££ on a bag. It seems so horribly excessive to me.

I make (sew) my own instead. That way each one is designed for practical functionality as well as fun. Recent ones needed storage space for face masks and hand gel!

lucyli

REALLY wanting to know what you bought

It’s a bag 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 vacuous lame brain

It’s a f**king bag, what a sad example of a human 🤪🤪🤣🤣

This is what I'm struggling with. I'm not sure why it upsets her so I'm finding it hard to empathise and therefore understand why I should not buy it. Perhaps I'm thoughtless though. I'm trying to respect that different things are important to different people

To be fair, I kind of see where she’s coming from. I’ve always hated uniform, and I’ve actually been in a situation, 3 times, where I’ve turned up to an event wearing something a little off the beaten track, only to find someone has the same idea. That said, I often admire and purchase items that I’ve seen my friends wearing, and they do the same, we all just make a conscious effort to not wear them at the same time

@lucyli

I've never heard of Goyard before and absolutely love them. This may have solved my problem!

There's always a HUGE queue outside their shop (I work near there). I wouldn't imagine their bags are that exclusive either. But it won't be the same as your friends!

Buy what you damn well like!

I have never heard of Goyard bags before so I googled it.
Genuine question, am I missing something?
They look like they're made from oilcloth, and even on ebay, are selling for £500 secondhand...

I would still buy it

Your friend sounds hard work

Ah, I see you've got a different bag now

Ooh glad you've found a nicer alternative. Please post a pic of the bag you've bought.

Any handbag thread always attracts the I wouldn’t spend tuppence on a bag crew. They counter on how they spend two Bob on a canvas sack from a charity shop. It used to hung on a hook in the abattoir, stinks a bit, dogs follow you when it’s hot, but hell why waste money on a frippery like a bag. They need smelling salts if a bag costs more than £9.99 and only have the one, bag the aforementioned bag.

@EspressoDoubleShot

Any handbag thread always attracts the I wouldn’t spend tuppence on a bag crew. They counter on how they spend two Bob on a canvas sack from a charity shop. It used to hung on a hook in the abattoir, stinks a bit, dogs follow you when it’s hot, but hell why waste money on a frippery like a bag. They need smelling salts if a bag costs more than £9.99 and only have the one, bag the aforementioned bag.

As opposed to buying an ugly brown thing with no zip for more than 1k?

It’s the competitive underspending and thrift to the point of pain
Quite frankly if the op has income and can afford it, why not buy the bag
Fortunately there’s a huge array of bags,multiple retailers, from big stores to independent and hand made stalls.one can chose from a huge range. I have 40+ bags, multiple colours, sizes and brands. I look after them, and they get a clean and refurbished at handbag clinic. I have also sold them on at at good return as I keep them clean,keep the receipts,paperwork etc to vouch for authenticity

I wonder what kind of friends they have who get upset when their friends have the same taste in bags.

Ok so you may not get the bag thing. So what about an identical pair expensive shoes, or a car? A kitchen? Soft furnishings? Haircut?
I bet there’s something that would make you think ,” really, you couldn’t have found something different from me given the infinite amount of choices you had”?

@EspressoDoubleShot

It’s the competitive underspending and thrift to the point of pain Quite frankly if the op has income and can afford it, why not buy the bag Fortunately there’s a huge array of bags,multiple retailers, from big stores to independent and hand made stalls.one can chose from a huge range. I have 40+ bags, multiple colours, sizes and brands. I look after them, and they get a clean and refurbished at handbag clinic. I have also sold them on at at good return as I keep them clean,keep the receipts,paperwork etc to vouch for authenticity

And that’s great if that’s what floats your boat. But for some of us bags are an anathema. I have several bags and I think they look good with my style,. But primarily they are to carry my stuff in. I’m never going to spend £1k on something to carry stuff in because it won’t carry stuff any better than a much cheaper bag. There are a zillion bags that look very similar in whatever style you like. Something that’s a grand just so you can have a grands worth of bag is just to show off, be honest.

@Lightisnotwhite

I wonder what kind of friends they have who get upset when their friends have the same taste in bags.

Ok so you may not get the bag thing. So what about an identical pair expensive shoes, or a car? A kitchen? Soft furnishings? Haircut?
I bet there’s something that would make you think ,” really, you couldn’t have found something different from me given the infinite amount of choices you had”?

Nope. I still don't get why people feel competitive about possessions, haircuts furnishings etc. I really don't. I wouldn't care at all if someone thought my car was so good that they would buy the same model.

I doubt that anyone would want to copy my taste in shoes

I don't dress, furnish my house, buy a car, get a haircut etc to be unique. I just do these things to please me. If someone else happens to have the same taste, then so what.

There are far more important things to worryt about in life than matching bags.

@lucyli have you tried Sarah Haran bags? My friends and I all love them because you can style them with loads of cool accessories to make them individual to you, meaning that even if you have the same bag, it never looks the same. Since I've started shopping there I've never looked back at another bag brand! x