To buy the same item as a close friend?

[lucyli]

Firstly I apologise that this is the epitome of a first world problem. I acknowledge I am fortunate to have this problem and that there are many bigger things to worry about.

I have decided to make a high-end purchase from a well-known brand. I've never done this before but am at the stage in my life where I would like to do so.

I spend a long while researching, chose what I wanted and planned to head to the shops in a few days.

Was just chatting to a close friend and it turns out she has the exact same item and is annoyed that I'd buy the same and said she'd rather I didn't. I wasn't aware of this before.

I struggle to understand this mentality as it's not something that would concern me at all the other way around.

Her argument is that she didn't spend all that money, just to have someone close to her have the exact same item.

AIBU to buy it anyway? I was so pleased with the idea of having it and was excited to buy it.

[LakeShoreD]

This is batshit. If your friend wanted a bag no one else has she should have gone with something less ubiquitous than the LV. Seriously they’re everywhere. Most women I know own at least a few of the well known classic designer handbags, the suggestion that because one person has one that bag is now off limits is actually insane. I have a Chanel flap bag that my parents bought me for my 21st birthday, one of my close friends wanted to buy one recently and I went to the store with her and then we went to lunch, because we’re normal people. Your friend is coming across as very controlling, I’d buy the bag and give her a wide berth tbh.

[gofg]

What would your friend have done if you had bought the bag without telling her beforehand? Honestly, it's a bag, most people aren't going to be looking that closely if you are out together, and even if they do so what, it's a bag

Your friend is being ridiculous. If that is the bag you have set your heart on then buy it.

[Goatinthegarden]

I sort of get it, if you’ve coveted something special for a while, bought it, and then someone buys the exact same one, it might take the shine off it for you.

I usually wouldn’t buy something to wear that a close friend already had, unless it was a very common item that ‘everyone’ has.

It wouldn’t bother me though if they bought an item I already had.

Everyone is different.

[TheFrogsAreDying]

I wouldn’t buy the same handbag as a friend if you saw her socially with your handbags a lot, and if she’s already commented on it. It’s too much like wearing the same dress that a friend is wearing to the same places all the time. There are zillions of handbags, find another one. Or if you’re fixated on this one, never take it somewhere that’s she’s going to be at … but then you’d have to buy another one anyway and it’s kind of wasteful to do that.

[Wam90]

Also I’d definitely buy the bag and just not mention it again to her. If she sees you with it and she makes a comment about it then say that it was the one you were talking about buying and went ahead with the purchase.

[SpeakingFranglais]

Do you know she actually has this bag & she just doesn’t want you to get one as she’s envious?

I’d get one if you wanted it, but I probably wouldn’t use it when I met up with her.

[Malibukev]

I think I see both sides. I could never afford a designer bag and if I ever did have the money it would be better off spent elsewhere so if by some miracle I was in a position to have the spare cash and be able to spend it on myself I would be really pleased and proud that I owned such a wonderful bag. Its like an achievement isn't it. If my friend then went and bought the same knowing we would be together a fair bit using the same bag it would annoy me. Maybe not enough to tell them not to get it but I can understand why she wouldn't want you to have it.

A designer bag would definitely be a bit of a talking point within my group of friends as in oh wow is that an LB bag, it's gorgeous. I suppose if two people were sat there with the same bag it would generate different comments.

[whatthejiggeries]

I wouldn't buy the same as a friend and it would piss me off particularly if you have both saved and only have one bag you are bound to have it with you every time you go out. That said an LV spoedie for example is such a common bag half of London has one so I can't see how she expected it to be exclusive. I see both sides to be honest. Personally I would by a Gucci Marmont or something instead but if you have your heart set on it then I understand why you want it

[Debetswell]

I suppose if someone is prepared to pay mega money for a bag then there will be an element of look at me.
Obviously if you have the same bag then your friend won't be looked at quite so much.

[daisychain01]

You could always just ditch the friend, or wear the handbag out with pride and enjoy it without fear, and if she finds out and ditches you then you know the friendship has run it's course.

Personally I could be around someone that controlling and none of my friends are, but then again, I'm not you.

[daisychain01]

Could = couldn't

[GreatEelRun]

LV Neverful is everywhere.

If you had come on here and said your friend had spent ages saving up for this, talked about it for ages, and then bought it and you just went out and got one with little thought then I would say YABU, but this is not what you have done so you are NBU.

I do hate it when people copy others though. I have someone who copies me a lot and it is really annoying. It is not like I have great taste or are massively fashionable either. There have been a few times when I have had to put an outfit together and they have then just gone and copied the whole thing. Once this person was staying with me and I came home from work early and they were wearing one of my outfits. I asked why they had gone into my room to try my clothes on and it turned out they had gone out to the shops and bought the exact same clothes I was wearing 2 days earlier and were trying them on. They got very upset with me for accusing them of trying on my stuff and secondly for thinking I was special and only I am allowed those clothes. It was weird though.

[daisychain01]

It's a very nice bag, I'd get it!

[SpeckledyHen]

Buy a Hermes OP . Your friend is batshit .

[LavenderPink]

If it weren't one of the more commonly bought ones I'd understand a bit more but that one is so popular! If you don't get it chances are someone else she knew would.

I'd get a different bag and say you went off it as they are everywhere!

[MiddleParking]

I couldn’t not laugh at someone who wanted their LV Neverfull to be unique

[AragornsGirl]

She can’t use hers that much if you didn’t know she had one!

[fourminutestosavetheworld]

I had to google what the LV Neverfull looks like. I was bristling at the 'theyre everywhere' comments and thinking that might be true in London but not in the rest of the country. However, I have indeed been seeing these everywhere, even in my very northern town. I assumed they were all copies though, as the branding is so showy. I think you can do better op, and look like a considerate friend whilst producing something lovelier.

[ApplesAreTheBaneOfMyLife]

Get something else for the sake of the friendship. And they are everywhere here too. I wouldn’t know a fake from a real one (or care).

[RedHelenB]

@Mybalconyiscracking

Maybe buy a different handbag at a sensible price and then put the money you save into the handbag?

This!
I think if you get the bag you won't enjoy it as much knowing your friends feelings. Naming a baby is have said ignore your friend but over this it doesn't seem worth the upset.

[Sexnotgender]

It’s a Neverfull, pretty much the most common bag out there! She’s being ridiculous.

[imisscashmere]

I think she’s mental, but then I also think it’s mental to spend so much on a handbag, so I’m a little out of my depth here

[Lougle]

I clearly have no taste because, having googled it, that looks like something you could get at the local market for £20. I'd save your £1000 and buy something else

[WTF475878237NC]

Personally I wouldn't want to upset my friend and would choose something else.

[peanutbear]

I have one. Very practical still
going strong after 10 years of daily use.
I bought mine purely because it fits everything I need in one bag and I'm not a handbag fan.
I don't think a friend can dictate your choice in bag. have you chosen the same design and colour?
If not just buy it.