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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snoring FIL AIBU

274 replies

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:21

We're on holiday staying in a lodge with PILs. We have two dds, the walls are paper thin.

FIL snores, omg it is loud, like a foghorn going off all night . MIL is 'used to it' and they both lie in bed until 9.30 each morning. I'm totally slee deprived as currently up listening to FIL snoring every night!

I'm up with the two dcs at 6.30am as they are early risers. I got annoyed yesterday because I was so tired and said it was because FIL was snoring all night. Response to this was 'well I can't help it' and both PILs got angry with me. I've not said anything since. Dh couldn't get time off work so he's not here to back me up.

AIBU to leave this holiday early? My dcs are having a good time but after six days of no sleep I'm struggling to function! I'm also pissed off with the selfish attitude that they lie in bed everyday while I'm up early with the kids. I also do all the driving cooking and they haven't lifted a finger with dcs!

OP posts:
ouchmyfeet · 23/08/2021 21:09

Hope you are home and in your own bed OP!

Howshouldibehave · 23/08/2021 21:50

@Jennybeans401

There's a lot that has come to light on this holiday. I have seen how very inactive they are, they have no health conditions but both are overweight and like to sit a lot. They act a lot older than they are!

MILS opinions only really came to light on holiday when I've asked them to pitch in a bit. Her response was thar she had no help with her dcs and she managed just fine.

Dh has told me that his granny did a lot of them when he was little so MIL not necessarily being truthful.

You’ve not posted since 9.30 this morning, @Jennybeans401 does that mean you’ve been driving the in-laws home?!
justasking111 · 23/08/2021 22:22

@Jennybeans401

There's a lot that has come to light on this holiday. I have seen how very inactive they are, they have no health conditions but both are overweight and like to sit a lot. They act a lot older than they are!

MILS opinions only really came to light on holiday when I've asked them to pitch in a bit. Her response was thar she had no help with her dcs and she managed just fine.

Dh has told me that his granny did a lot of them when he was little so MIL not necessarily being truthful.

My friend has a lazy MIL her own mum did a lot of the raising of her grandchildren. Now she has children she's realised how inept her own mum was.
BrilliantBetty · 23/08/2021 22:26

Hope you decided to go home, OP!!! And are now getting tucked up in your own bed tonight without the sound of snoring.

Stath · 23/08/2021 23:07

@underneaththeash how did your MIL block the loo? With toilet roll or mega huge poos? And was she not mortified at doing that?i really need to know!

Montauklighthouse · 23/08/2021 23:12

I’d rather lose body parts thAn holiday with PIL, you have my sympathies!

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 24/08/2021 01:37

We once holidayed with ils. 2 apartments next door. One cot +dc in each. At ils insistance.
Woke every night /morning at several set times it seemed... Like 1 and 4 am.
Next day fil said it was their alarm. To check if ds had enough blankets....
Confused
Never again.
And we never did.

Keeva2017 · 24/08/2021 05:48

This is what you do op. Book a fancy hotel. Take your kids and pils to your husband. Drive to to fancy hotel.

Tell your kids they’ve had a lovely time and now it’s time for mums break.

Or leave your pils and their son can worry about them.

Marni83 · 24/08/2021 06:17

@Brollypackedforscottishholiday

We once holidayed with ils. 2 apartments next door. One cot +dc in each. At ils insistance. Woke every night /morning at several set times it seemed... Like 1 and 4 am. Next day fil said it was their alarm. To check if ds had enough blankets.... Confused Never again. And we never did.
This is unbelievably sweet Can’t you see that?
Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 24/08/2021 09:05

Who wakes a baby twice a night to tuck it in? Ds had slept through from a very early age...
He was about 16 months then.

They weren't on the ball when he had a nasty bang and we heard him crying early one morning.. Mil had put some butter on it... The site Dr sent him to A & E...

Marni83 · 24/08/2021 17:12

@Brollypackedforscottishholiday

Who wakes a baby twice a night to tuck it in? Ds had slept through from a very early age... He was about 16 months then. They weren't on the ball when he had a nasty bang and we heard him crying early one morning.. Mil had put some butter on it... The site Dr sent him to A & E...
* Woke every night /morning at several set times it seemed... Like 1 and 4 am.*

Why didn’t you have a chat and say not needed
And if carried on, moved your ds back in to your apartment?

Tessabelle74 · 24/08/2021 17:37

I'd be deliberately banging or vacuuming outside their bedroom at 6.30am! My husband occasionally snores and takes himself off to the sofa once his ribs get sore from the jabs, how the hell do people get used to it??

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 24/08/2021 17:43

Dh once physically removed dil from our home for overloading ds with blankets.. As in bright red, swaddled in double fleece blanket... And tucked in with more..
Was a very sore subject..

PeterG11 · 24/08/2021 17:45

Ear buds playing music might help, or sleep in another room if quieter there? (Snore stoppers also help if you'd like to suggest/buy them present :) www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07G94T84V/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1)&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

bigbaggyeyes · 24/08/2021 17:51

Send the kids in to wake them at 6.30am

mcmooberry · 24/08/2021 17:57

Well never again is all I can say, poor you!!! The snoring is bad enough but them expecting you to do absolutely everything is disgraceful!

LittleMissPlant · 24/08/2021 17:57

YABU.

They’re your kids to look after. Not theirs. Perhaps ask grandparents to look after the kids while you catch up on sleep.

He can’t help snoring…as annoying as it is.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 24/08/2021 18:07

I think you should stick it out as DC are having fun and it will be a big issue/drama if you leave early.
He can’t help snoring - go and buy some earplugs, they work incredibly well.
As for them getting up at 9.30 - why shouldn’t they? !!!
They are on holiday and the kids are your kids, not theirs.
Totally unreasonable for you to expect them to get up early just because you have to.
Cooking - maybe they feel they’d be stepping on your toes. Have you asked if they would like to cook?

Bertiebiscuit · 24/08/2021 18:21

Earplugs and white noise like a radio on very low duh!!!!

Unsure33 · 24/08/2021 18:32

Ear plugs . The squishy spongy ones .

BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward · 24/08/2021 18:47

Bloody hell. I’d have said I’m not sure how you know I’m snoring since I’ve barely slept. 😳 We have snore lab app that records snoring and sound clips also (I have the paid version but there is a free one). It give a snore score too. It’s the only way I was able to show my OH how loud his snoring was. We went to see about apnoea but the specialist didn’t agree he has it and if mild at best (me listening to him stop breathing regularly through the night says different but who am I to argue!) I sleep on the sofa now permanently. I don’t mind. I get good sleep and it’s comfortable. I do wish he would do something about his weight as this would help, but hey ho.

Fluffmum · 24/08/2021 19:07

Just suck it up it’s 6 days. The kids are enjoying it

Howshouldibehave · 24/08/2021 19:11

@Fluffmum

Just suck it up it’s 6 days. The kids are enjoying it
The OP said she’s already been there for 6 days. Has she clarified there are another 6 to go?
MrsKoala · 24/08/2021 19:21

@Pixxie7

I can understand how you feel but not sure that he can help his snoring. It sounds as if you took your in-laws away as baby sitters though. They should definitely be helping out though, but they should be able to lie in if they want to.
We take my parents on holiday with us to help out. I don’t think that’s weird. Why else would someone holidaying alone with small children pay for someone to accompany them - just to make more work for themselves? Because it’s not hard enough as it is?
Wishihadanalgorithm · 24/08/2021 19:23

Life is too short for this shit.

I hope the OP is on her way home and that’s is why she hasn’t posted for a while.

Holidaying with ILs would be like hell for me. Doing it without DP? No way in hell would that happen. I admire OP’s optimism.