Covid exposure from friend whilst I am pregnant

[missturnbullx]

I'll try and make this my last COVID-19 post now.

I am 34 weeks pregnant and met up with a friend of mine on Wednesday. I picked her up in my car, we went shopping, went for lunch and our children played together. I then dropped her back at home.

Her husband tested positive for COVID the day after we met (the Thursday) following a PCR test. He must have gone for the test on the Wednesday when we met up, not very happy that I wasn't informed about this and could have postponed meeting up until it was safe.

Her husband had apparently gone on a stag do that weekend and returned home late Sunday evening/early hours Monday morning. The timescales are not that clear as she keeps telling me she has brain fog and is too tired to answer my questions. It turns out on the Tuesday morning she packed her bags and left for her mums because they had an argument (he isn't very faithful and cheats a lot).

Anyway, fast forward from that, apparently when she found out about his positive PCR on Thursday she did a lateral flow test on the Thursday which was negative. Friday evening apparently she started to feel a bit ill and did another lateral flow which was positive. She then informed me on the Saturday morning she was covid positive.

I'm starting to get a little annoyed now because I feel like it was irresponsible of her to sit and have lunch with me at 34 weeks pregnant with my 2 year old child whilst she knowingly knew her husband was sat in a covid test centre. I'm also annoyed she didn't alert me on the Thursday about his positive test. I went to my grandmas on the Friday and I could have totally avoided that trip had I have known all this was going on. NOT TO MENTION the fact she KNOWS I am a high risk pregnancy, already at risk of a preterm birth and she also knows I was in ICU when pregnant with my first. The more the time goes on, the angrier I get about it. I don't know if IABU. If I end up covid positive I will have to cancel my next appointment with my consultant which included planning a date for a c section due to pregnancy health complications and that will make me feel even more anxious about the whole situation.

Anyway, my lateral flows are all negative so far. Today is Sunday evening. I had a PCR this morning and currently awaiting the results. I've not really had any symptoms except waking up in the night with a sore throat but I don't have a sore throat through the day. It's hard to tell really considering I have such bad heartburn and reflux in this pregnancy. I feel a bit run down but I was starting to feel that way with the pregnancy anyway.

Apparently her mum who she stayed with from Tuesday-Friday is still testing negative on lateral flows and has no symptoms, however she is double jabbed.

Myself and my 'friend' haven't had the vaccine yet.

I guess I need to rant and I also am wondering if anybody else could share their experiences. I'm so scared I've caught it because even though she didn't get symptoms and test positive till Friday night, I've heard the virus can shed up to 2 days before anyway, which would have made it the Wednesday I was with her.

I'm so annoyed, I've spent years carting her and her child around to nice places (she doesn't drive and doesn't bother taking her places) and I feel totally trodden on and taken for granted. This whole situation could have been avoided. I mean at first when she told me I was reassuring it wasn't her fault but the more questions I ask, the more suspicious I get about how much she actually knew at the time she met with me.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

I too am curious as to why a consultant has advised against getting the vaccine in pregnancy but it’s fine for after.

Also you keep saying you wear a mask- you do know that won’t offer you any protection, but (minimally) protects others?

I don't think it's too hard to figure out why they might advise that.

Yes, it is quite hard actually because it goes against current official stats and guidance.

@SmidgenofaPigeon are you a midwife Or doctor? Very curious.

No, I’m not, but I don’t need to be. Why do you ask?

[quote missturnbullx]@vanityfairsbackpage that information is my personal medical history, which is just that, personal. I do not need to share that with a stranger on the internet. But thank you for your concern 🙂[/quote]
aye I thought not

@SmidgenofaPigeon because you seem to think my midwife and doctor are going against the current official stats and guidance? So I assumed you must have professional knowledge somewhere along the line to be so curious by this. But please do feel free to message me the official stats and guidance so I can re-educate my midwife and doctor with this information and tell them how and why they are doing their jobs wrong.

@vanityfairsbackpage mystic Meg ey 😉

Here’s some RCOG info that may be useful OP:

www.rcog.org.uk/en/guidelines-research-services/guidelines/coronavirus-pregnancy/covid-19-virus-infection-and-pregnancy/#pregnancy

And here, sadly 95% of pregnant women hospitalised with Covid are unvaccinated. Presumably the numbers are small though as I think 3/5 (or thereabouts) who contract it will be asymptomatic:

www.rcog.org.uk/en/news/rcog-and-rcm-respond-to-new-data-from-public-health-england-on-covid-19-vaccine-uptake-data-in-pregnant-women/

Not mystic Meg no, just a very puzzled hcp who works in this field. What you’re saying makes no sense and I wonder why that is

Well I can guess why it makes no sense actually. You’ve backed yourself into a corner and now refuse to back up what you’ve said with further detail

But you don’t need to be a medical professional to know about official stats and guidance, do you?

It’s known that covid in late pregnancy can be very dangerous. Again, that’s public knowledge, not just for medical professionals. It’s not proven that the vaccine causes any affects whatsoever to your baby (it’s not live and doesn’t cross the placenta, and there’s plenty of case study now with babies to vaccinated mothers long having been born)

If you are personally not keen on getting the vaccine, which seems to be he case here, then why not just say that? Lots of pregnant women have been too anxious to be vaccinated or would wish to wait until they’re not pregnant anymore. It is their right to choose, however the upshot it is they are probably resigning themselves to enjoying less freedoms in the run up to giving birth to be on the safe side.

I think lots of pregnant women are very nervous of being vaccinated and have opted out.

OP,
I can absolutely understand your upset.
You took a calculated risk going out, you weighed it up and deemed it safe enough.

However, you didn't have the facts and were denied the information and the opportunity to again assess the risk.

I think your friend was very thoughtless.
Incredibly so considering she knows well that you are vulnerable.

I would be unimpressed.
She has form.

I think you need to be far less available for someone who doesn't appreciate you or think of you much at all.

The fact you could have put your grandmother at risk is doubly annoying.

I hope it works out.

@missturnbullx

I haven't had the vaccine because my midwife and consultant advised against it in my pregnancy and I am under consultant led care at the hospital. I will be having the vaccine once the baby is born. So for all those asking me to get my facts right about my friend, please get your facts right about my current vaccine status too, thank you.

My friend hasn't had the vaccine nor has her husband because they are anti covid vax. They have said they wish to wait until 2023 when the trial is over and that is their personal choice. It is not up to me to judge them for that. However, I chose to meet with this friend, for lunch, and let our kids play because these same children play together in a bubble at group and I'm not afraid of catching covid from somebody at the table next to me in a resteraunt when they aren't even close enough to be a risk to me I continue to wear a mask in public places, however at lunch, of course, I wasn't. I need to use my mouth to eat.

What I am afraid of, is being lied to by a 'friend' and catching covid from somebody who knows my vulnerabilities and my reasons for not being vaccinated at present.

I am under consultant led care, the only advise the consultant gave me in third trimester of pregnancy is to test twice weekly at home. I have not been told I need to vaccinate myself, social distance and stay indoors. I am doing nothing wrong meeting a friend for lunch. It's my choice to take what I believed to be minimal risk. of course I understand being near friends and family there is always somewhat of a risk and I accept that. But this situation with my friend isn't adding up. Plenty of people are back out in nightclubs, jetting off on holiday, I simply went for a coffee with somebody who I put my trust in.

However, I appreciate all responses, as I did ask if IABU on a public forum and it is good to see other people's perspective on the matter, as I chose to respect my friend enough to vent to others before I vent to her 🙂 However, I think I've probably missed out a lot of detail involved in the situation for people to better understand which is my fault for those responses where I haven't made certain facts clear.

I see two sides to this:

1.) YANBU - a close friend of mine has recently had her baby and we went with 'honesty is the best policy'. If she asks me to do see her I give her full disclosure of what I've been up to for the last two weeks so she can decide whether she feels comfortable and if she decides not then no offence taken

2.) YABU to think that just because you are 'allowed' to do something (as in the law allows you to) that you should when you are clearly in a vulnerable position. It's not solely on your friend to risk asses for you. You have a responsibility for yourself too.

I hope you and your baby are ok x

[quote Beaudalaire]@missturnbullx I am actually. And your consultant IS going against guidance. But I think we both know you obstetrician didn’t actually advise you not to have it. Perhaps advised to you do some research, think about it or if it was many, many months ago in the first wave of vaccination programme said to wait until the second trimester.
But advised you not to have it until after baby is born? No, I don’t think this happened.[/quote]
yep

@Beaudalaire @SmidgenofaPigeon @vanityfairsbackpage

That is EXACTLY what I have been advised and I have not backed myself in to a corner 😂

I also have bad reflux and was prescribed omeprazole by my GP but when I attended my consultant appointment I was told it is bad to take in pregnancy and she sent me a leaflet with all the side effects and explained that my baby could have allergies if I continue the use it. I have unfortunately had to discontinue the use, so now I am on gaviscon instead. I am only following the advice of my consultant and my midwife specialising in my pregnancy if that's what they advise based on my case?

@Beaudalaire I would have thought if you were a doctor or a midwife and specialised in this field you would know that there ARE exceptions. Even the rare ones, like mine 🙂 maybe you'll come across one at some point!

That’s weird, I have terrible heartburn in my pregnancy too and was prescribed Omerprazole by a consultant.

Which I will continue to take because there’s absolutely no reliable evidence that it causes any side effects that will harm my baby whatsoever and is considered to be safe to use in pregnancy.

Your consultant sounds a bit odd.

@SmidgenofaPigeon mine was prescribed by a locum GP over the phone. I thought I was finally at relief having Something to help with the daily heartburn other than chewing a Renee 😂 a couple of days later attended apt with consultant and she advised to discontinue the use due to high risk of my baby getting allergies. I would trust the advice of the consultant handling my care over a locum GP.

I have done my research on covid vax and I am not against it. I am only doing what I am advised to do by the professionals. I am sure the consultant knows what's best for each individual pregnant lady she cares for. 🙂

Funny that, me too @smidgenofapigeon! Well, my GP and my midwife both strongly advised it anyway and my consultant hasn't said not to take it any more (prob cos the patient leaflets says nothing about it...)

Is that for the same reason you can't have the covid jab, OP? It does seem odd given that there's dozens of posts on here of people being safely prescribed omeprazole as required, I know because I read most of them before making the call to discuss with the GP 😂

@8dpwoah I'm a little envious if I am honest 😂 I am currently sat upright in bed because laying down is so uncomfortable and there is only so much gaviscon can do!

The reasons are similar in some ways. I was then given a leaflet by her about the complications from omeprazole. I assume it is all case by case basis. I don't suspect my consultant is sat banning pregnant women from
Covid vaccines and omeprazole all day long!

I haven't questioned any of the advice because my midwife has backed up the advice. Plus when I am in consultations the info and advice makes sense to me so I trust what they're saying and so far have felt satisfied with their care and expertise.

@Beaudalaire thank you for this information.

And I really hope so. Thank you for your wishes.

Well tbf if there's a leaflet on supoosed complications of omeprazole I'm a bit miffed that my own medical professionals haven't pointed me to it, presumably it's an fairly standard NHS publication? It does sound like your consultant has some funny ideas that don't align with the RCOG etc. I'd be a bit worried I'd found an outlier to he honest!