My 13 ds is genuinely aggrieved that he is not allowed to swear

[Veuvelily]

He says he has heard all his friends swear in front of their parents and reckons he should be able to swear in his own home
Does your 13 yr old swear at home ?

Do you swear in the home? I'd let him say words you say. If you don't swear, then it's the same rules for all.

Yes I’ve always allowed my son to swear - in the right circumstances, he knows not to project it at anyone and is now 17 and rarely swears!

I don’t believe we should control what someone says, we can teach them about code of conduct - but if my son wanted to sit and swear to himself? Crack on!

My 21 and 22 year olds don't swear at home!
I'm 47 and wouldnt dare swear in front of my mother. I think I may have inherited her 'don't you dare' face 🤣

Yanbu

I'm assuming the swearing is the serious stuff and not bloody hell etc

I let my DD's swear. Both me and my Mother are/were very fond of 'shit and ffs'. But we don't swear at each other. If he wants to swear his head off at the Xbox, I'm not sure. They seem to get a bit older and it becomes a battle when they want to play late at night and shout their head off.

I allow crap, shit and shite. I draw the line at anything stronger than that.
My own mother would be horrified at this, she’s never sworn in her life.

I allow swearing so long as it isn't directed at people, but we have made a special exception for Boris Johnson

Fucking, fuck and cunt is a no!

I don’t like it when they swear as it makes me cringe, but that’s probably because I swear and they get it from me and I feel I did wrong. I’ve never actually sworn at them though, never! So would not tolerate them swearing at me.

No. I gave mine a strict hierarchy of who they could swear in front of. Grandparents were at the top with "never ever EVER" in front of me was a "shouldn't" and in front of other adults in a position of responsibility was a "Don't". In front of people they knew well was up to them.

It didn't bother me as such (apart from the grandparents, mine in particular!) but I think learning appropriate language for different settings so that you don't offend people is important.

I never swear in front of my mum. But I swear like a trooper at home. My ds 10 knows what swear words are, but he also knows at his age he's not allowed to say them. I've told him when he's older his choice of language is his own responsibility. However when he's feeling particularly aggrieved about something he has been known to ask for permission to swear which I usually allow

At that age my rule was to not say anything in front of parents that you couldn't say in front of your favourite teacher.

Basically, just don't offend people.

my teen/preteen DC don't swear more than crap and bloody.
They hear far, far worse from me on a daily basis (not proud, not cool, just how it is) and maybe this takes the shine off it a bit?

We’ve never ever allowed swearing at home and don’t expect DC’s to swear at any time. There is never any excuse for offensive language.

Ds2(14) is not supposed to and gets a row plus a threat of the console going off when I hear the f word coming from his bedroom when he’s losing a game on the Xbox. The c word is completely out of bounds, as is swearing in front of 90 year old Granny, and he knows that swearing in public is very disrespectful - although I am not naive enough to think he doesn’t do it when he’s with his friends.

I hate hate hate hearing casual swearing where every second word is fucking.

My younger ones are allowed crap and bloody hell, that's their quota. When they're older they can swear all they like outside the home but those are the rules for now. My eldest 2 are young adults now and they had the very same rules. They still only swear in front of me by accident - followed by an apology! Really doesn't bother me now they're older but clearly some of what I taught them stuck! I'm sure they swear like sailors with their mates though.

Well, do you swear?
What do you count as swearing? Bloody? Crikey? Blimey?
Swearing at things or events? Or at people?

Hmm, really interesting question! Haven't really thought about that probably because DH never EVER swears and I only tend to if I drop something or stub my toe, that kind of thing. DD, who is 13 utters a horrified "Mummmmeeeeeeee!" when I do, so can't imagine the subject of her wanting to coming up. I feel like the naughty child in our house!

But if it did, I think I would say something about gratuitous swearing, as it is like nails on a chalkboard, but as an exclamation of irritation or pain wouldn't bother me.

Ds I 12, he is allowed bloody hell, but he rarely uses it, cos he thinks it's really bad!

No idea how he thinks this, he goes to a school where he hears worse all day long . But its not normal at home, so I guess he feels wrong using any swear words.

My DC are a lot younger but the one time I said 'shit' in my mum's house, she hit me over the head with a wooden spoon. I was 18! On the otherhand DH's family seem to use the word 'twat' quite frequently. Once my DCs are teens I'd perhaps meet in the middle.

I've given my two permission to swear but I've talked to them lots about it.

I think giving them "permission" has taken away the allure and neither bothers.

I'm not bothered about swearing. Sometimes, when you really stub your toe and it hurts, only a good 'Fuck!' will do. There shouldn't be age restrictions on that.

My mum swore a lot more than any of us did when she was alive. None of us would have sworn in front of MIL. At 13, they're old enough to manage it in context, and banning it completely just makes it more attractive.

Swearing at someone is always a hard no in our household.

None of my DC have ever sworn in front of me. They’re 14, 19 and 26

Swearing at home, given DH and I do as well, is fine. Some words are not ok. We all know which ones
Swearing at teachers, not fine.
Amongst friends, your own choice

Mine swear. Not all the time but they swear at home. Not in other people’s homes and not aggressively. I would pull them up on that.

For those who allow swearing - why? Can they not use a non swear word instead?

Swearing at a situation would be fine. I often say shit if I've forgotten or dropped something. Swearing at another person would not be ok.