My 13 ds is genuinely aggrieved that he is not allowed to swear

[Veuvelily]

He says he has heard all his friends swear in front of their parents and reckons he should be able to swear in his own home
Does your 13 yr old swear at home ?

@NiceGerbil

I'm surprised a 3yo if brought up in a v sweary house understands which words are swear words and which are not. And adjusts language according to situation.

He must be very bright! I'm impressed.

@NiceGerbil

I'm genuinely guessing this is in response to my comment. If so, then yes. He does follow them very well. Of course, he does forget sometimes (just as I forget not to swear in certain places!) but generally, he follows them well because we enforce the rules and let him know when he has made a mistake. We genuinely rarely have issues with him, especially because we also make mistakes in front of him and own up to them.

He always listens when we correct him. He is bright but no more bright than the average 3-year-old. I am very proud of him.

Nothing cuter than a foul mouthed toddler.

What language mistakes do you make in front of him?

3 really is young trying to remember how chatty my kids were then!

Nope. My teens were never 'allowed' to swear at home and they didn't. I can't remember any of them swearing in front of me and never, ever at me. I did not swear in front of them either.
Now most are adults and they will sometimes swear in front of me and that's fine.

I rarely swear; if I do, the kids know I'm absolutely furious. When they were younger, I wouldn't allow them to swear at all. They are now 12/13 and they know that certain swear words are not allowed in my hearing and others will raise an eyebrow. Generally speaking I don't approve of 'casual' swearing, i.e. peppering your speech with expletives. So I would pull them up on that, but if they were furious and one slipped out, as long as it wasn't one of the really bad ones, I'd let it go as a one-off.

My teenagers are prone to a bit of casual swearing and so am I but they are not aggressive or swearing at people.
There are certain swear words that are just words in our house.

We were allowed what we called "old school swearing" so things like bloody hell, shit, pissing hell. Not fuck or cunt or variations of the two.

My Dd of similar age is allowed to swear jokingly iyswim but not in anger and not in front of ds7. Although I’ve realised I say “bloody” more than I should!

It’s all about learning how to use it, I guess, not blanket bans.

I wouldn’t like it if she said cunt though!

depends
general foul and disrepectful language - no (and dc would be reprimanded for it)

a reactionary swearword in situations like an injury or unexpected news is acceptable in my view.

I think it's fine as long as it's not directed at someone, and not loud and aggressive (so no sweary shouting at the top of your voice because you lost a computer game).

My parents were really weird about it. They'd swear very strongly all the time, both casually and in anger at me when telling me off. When I was fifteen I got a public scolding for saying 'bloody hell' about something in the news. It was the most profoundly hypocritical thing and felt like they were trying to embarrass and belittle me in front of others. If they were against swearing and never did it themselves, I'd have thought differently.

What if a teen aged son calls his mother COUNT, BITCH, F*YOU, when his mother was irritated and hurt to an extend that she starts to scream and shout after failing to stop her son using these abusive rude words? Her son simply commented she was over reacting, his teacher never shout simply saying "mind your words". The mother uses "mind your words" later but son's verbal attack and abuse continue. From son's perspective, it is always his mother's fault, over reacting. What can this poor mother do? It is like living in a hell when she suffers disrespect from her own son frequently?

@SockeyeNW you might be better off making a new thread about your issue. This one is old now so many people wont see your message.