My 13 ds is genuinely aggrieved that he is not allowed to swear

[Veuvelily]

He says he has heard all his friends swear in front of their parents and reckons he should be able to swear in his own home
Does your 13 yr old swear at home ?

Not at the age yet, but I'll allow mine to swear. I can't get worked up about it. I was allowed to swear growing up, as long as it wasn't loudly in public or around people we didn't know, etc. My parents were the same though; happily swear at home and around family and friends, but didn't think it was respectable in other situations.

I've never had an issue with it. Never really "slipped up" by swearing in appropriately or anything. I don't really swear at work, maybe a mild "bloody hell" or "oh that's a bit shit", depending on who I'm talking to. Not when I first started though, I don't want to be seen as the potty mouth in a none swearing environment. Just read the room really.

I love a good swear! It's just language. Yes, there absolutely are other words you can use, but "fuck" and "fucking" especially have a totally different feeling to them, and sometimes I think it's just appropriate. I also love the word cunt. I'm an English lecturer and quite honestly believe that swearing can have an impact that some other words can't - especially in writing.

Some people don't, and that's fine - it's why I won't speak like that around people who don't swear. If my kids want to swear, they can do, as long as they know when is and isn't appropriate.

I'm an English lecturer and quite honestly believe that swearing can have an impact that some other words can't - especially in writing

This.

@hocusspocuss

I allow swearing so long as it isn't directed at people, but we have made a special exception for Boris Johnson

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My ds isn't allowed to swear at people or about people in an unkind way.

But I've always let it go when he's referred to Boris or Trump as "fucking knobheads".

Yes, mine is allowed to swear, but distinction made between swearing and swearing at someone, which is not allowed.
Never swear stronger than bloody in front of the grandparents or someone else's parents though! And not around small children.

I'm quite relaxed about swearing. We only tend to as a release like if we have forgotten something or stubbed a toe. My rule has always been never to use it as punctuation.

I never allowed swearing when my DDs lived at home, I don't swear myself because I hate it, and I especially hate st and c*p. Awful words.

My younger DD still lives with me, and she never swears in front of me.

My parents don't swear and I've never heard any of my aunts or uncles swear either.

I come from a generation which had no qualms washing out a mouth with soap (literally), do I do not often swear, although my DC do swear they never use the f word at home, if it slips out I remind the they are at home. Even DH curbs his language at home.
I have even told off DD's friends for the f word.
I find it really offensive and will not accept it in my own home.
My DC are both adults as are their friends.

I didn't even know swear words existed until I was 9 or 10 years old!

It was absolutely NOT ALLOWED in our house growing up. I never did swear in front of my parents, but I think I'd probably have got a slap if I did.

Even now, at the age of 36, I would NEVER swear in front of my mum. My dad (who died 4 years ago), I think I did a couple of times - we had the exact same personality/sense of humour.

I even think twice about swearing on my fb, because my mum is on my friends list. She'd say that it shows a complete lack of intelligence.

@TheSockMonster

I had a very prim and quite old English Lit A Level teacher who managed to stun our whole class to silence by saying ‘fuck’. She found our shock amusing and said that profanities have their place in every language and her only objection was when they were used inappropriately or excessively.

I have followed the same edict with my own DC. Inappropriate swearing is banned. Occasional and appropriate use is fine.

We might have had the same teacher. She talked about Anglo-Saxon dialect (or possibly diatribe). I love a good sweary diatribe as it releases stress but would never swear at anyone. DD says shit but nothing else, in front of me at least.

I swear semi regularly. I didn’t swear in front of my family until quite recently, but just because it felt awkward to start.
13 might be a bit young, but the teens is generally when I’ll be fine with my son swearing. No c-word though, I just don’t like it, and don’t use it myself.

Swearing is part of language. I don't really see the big deal. I swear, my kids are fairly young still and they don't copy me but when they do as long as it is in context I won't have an issue with it.

My mum and dad are pretty sweary. Esp my mum. When she's cooking it's oh shit I've dropped the sodding potatoes. Ow bugger I've burnt myself. I wish she'd let us help more!

Dad only tends to swear when he hurts himself working in the garage but the language was interesting when I was a kid.

I'm v sweary myself. Unsurprisingly prob.

DH seems unable to. His family don't. I once tried to get him to say fuck and he was squirming and couldn't do more than mumble.

So kids have one of each. They don't swear at all in front of us. Well DD said fuck once she's 14 and then said oops.

I'd be a hypocrite to say no but they don't so don't know how would feel in practice.

Swearing AT is a no no. I don't do it ever. I would stamp down hard on that. None of us call each other names at all. Even silly or innocuous things.

I would have zero problem with anyone swearing if they stub their toe or hit their head or trip over etc.

If the kids are older for the non swearers. What happens with telly with swearing is that ok?

I mean we poke fun at each other and affectionate names but anger/ names meant to hurt we just don't do it.

I love swearing tbh. It's all part of our rich language and whatnot.

I also think sometimes a mild word is more cutting. Eg he's a bit of a Pratt. It's like you can't even be bothered to use a strong word

Watched yes minister last night with the kids and there was berk (pretty rude) and something else... And that's properly classic really clever stuff.

So yes upbringing and all families are different etc.

Does your 13yo swear at home?

Does he f*ck!😂

No he doesn't. I have explained that I don't speak that way so it's unacceptable in the family home, plus we have younger children at home too.

Although, he got his wee swear fix in class reading aloud in English class last week. New novel includes loads of swears.

[quote secular39]@NeverDropYourMooncup

I'm entitled to my opinion. Swearing like a trooper does not look good at all. If this applies to you, maybe this is something that you can work on?[/quote]
Oh wow

General swearing was mostly allowed at home from mid-teens but we always knew not to swear at people, in company, at school etc.

Swearing is absolutely no indicator of class, intelligence, education, etc (I know plenty of very posh, educated, intelligent people who swear like you wouldn't believe) as long as it's in the appropriate context.

Me in the office at work: "This website is fucked" - fine.

Me with a long-standing client who's a friend, are informal with one another, on the phone just catching up about a project: "Fucking hell, did you see X?" - fine, the context is there, it's a private conversation, I already know we're comfortable with that.

Me in a meeting with a big client who we're trying to impress: "I've fucked this slide up" - not fine, shows a lack of awareness of context, that's where I'd see it as inappropriate and crude.

Could well have done @Lysianthus

I can’t remember her name, but she had grey hair that she wore in a messy bun and always wore skirts and smart blouses. It was a dedicated sixth form centre in a town beginning with D.

She was quite fierce and, although I didn’t get on terribly well with her at the time, she made quite an impact on me. She pulled me up on my poor attendance and, when I arrogantly retorted that I’d got an A on my mocks and would get an A in my final exams she said that may well be the case, but I wouldn’t deserve it. She also called my bluff and said she could have me chucked off the course anyway! I pulled my socks up, dialled the arrogance down a notch and didn’t miss any more lessons. It was something I needed to hear and she was the only teacher to stand up to me and say it. I remember her very fondly!

I do swear at home, the children don't. They have never sworn that I have heard, even though we have not said they can't, they just seem to see it as an adult thing I think. But then the adult ones still don't really do it.

I also think they are just more refined than me, they look at me with disappointment at times .

I am firmly pro-swearing myself, but don't do it at work for obvious reasons. Was very happy with that research that showed it was good for blood pressure/stress as now I feel vindicated!

I honestly don't care in the slightest if dd swears at home, as long as she isn't swearing at people. They're just words, and I'm happy for her to express herself in whatever way she chooses. Swearing at people in an abusive manner would not be acceptable, however.

She knows that some people don't like swearing and that some may judge people for using certain words, so she is careful what she says around others unless she knows where they stand. But in the safety of her own home? Not an issue

I swore in front of my parents - not all the time, but if I was in pain or frustrated and said "oh shit" or "oh for FUCKS sake" they never corrected me or told me off.

They're just words. Nothing to get offended by imo.

@JEdgarHoover

This is an interesting question. I never sweat as my parents came down hard as a child

@Mistressofnone are you Prince Andrew? 😉

😂 why does autocorrect always attack the worst word! Fiddlesticks.

I don't swear. I can't bring myself to let swear words pass my lips. I sometimes think the very occasional "f" word though, but never the "s" or "c" word in my thoughts.

I hated it when after starting school my child sometimes used swear words. That was nipped in the bud, but as an adult they do what they want.

But generally, I can never understand why some people can't say a sentence without every other word being a swear word.

Worst of all is women using the "c" word especially on mumsnet. I see it as an extremely derogatory word men use against women. So to see it used here always enrages me. As a black woman the use of the "n" word by some black rappers etc equally enrages me.

Slip what do you say if you stub your toe?

Or I dunno. A fight spills out of a pub and it's a load of blokes really going for it with blood etc. Or you switch the news on and see some new awful news with loads of people dead. Or you see someone get hit by a car?

Genuinely interested. I'm very sweary indeed. Got it from my family. DH can't bring himself to swear. His family don't.

I enjoy it. We have some words that are so satisfying. You can really spit them out. I work with some Scottish blokes and their language is littered with really inventive invective. My work is very sweary though as well. My industry probably.

I'm just trying to think what DH says when something sudden etc happens. I can't actually think what he says. That's weird. Maybe he's just less verbal or something.

I don't know what the s word is!

Will never know.

Swearing for me adds power and emotion. When my friend told me her DH was having an affair I said fucking hell what a wanker. Saying oh dear that's terrible he's really not a good person (?) just doesn't have the same feel for me.

My 13yo and 15yo are allowed to swear, yes. They are both well behaved and good students. It’s never abusive eg “you are an evil cunt”, it’s more expressive. Burn some cooking “grrr fucking hell”