Page 7 | AIBU princess parties is this what we are inspiring our girls to be ?

bottleitsellit · 2021-08-21T14:09:25+00:00

Just been to a Princess birthday party, my first one. So a women acts as your princess of choice with the wig and outfit and runs the party games instead of the parents. I just feel so sad about how all the girls were gushing over it. I suppose I wasn't brought up with princesses as my mum was very much a tomboy and I have lots of older brothers. My girls have fairies, witches amongst their toys just as my DS has dragons, Harry Potter, but we have really haven't gone with princesses as it's a bit old fashioned, a knight on a horse saving you. Maybe it's just me, they will prob now want princess everything 😬

lazylinguist · 21/08/2021 19:38

Ok... those of you who think the OP is BU - can I ask a question?

Do you believe that little girls generally like princesses and unicorns and boys generally like football and superheroes because of something innate in their chromosomes, their biology? In other words, do you believe in girl brains and boy brains?

Lessthanaballpark · 21/08/2021 19:43

Life would be eaiser if women stopped judging women the way they do.

Like a PP said it would be wrong to judge girls for liking the things that they’ve been trained to like, ie. the only things that are on offer to them. And films like Frozen and Brave are in many ways stealth feminism as the female leads are their own saviours.

But it’s the lack of variety, the lack of other choices that is the problem. It’s this intensification of gendered stereotypes, this narrowing of what it means to be a boy or to be a girl that has us in the trans mess we’re in where young girls wanting to transition and irreversibly damaging their bodies has shot up exponentially. A girl who doesn’t like princess stuff looks around and thinks she’s so out of sync with girlhood that she must have a boy’s soul.

Princesses are fine but not when it’s the only thing on offer.

marmaladehound · 21/08/2021 19:47

@Lessthanaballpark

Life would be eaiser if women stopped judging women the way they do.

Like a PP said it would be wrong to judge girls for liking the things that they’ve been trained to like, ie. the only things that are on offer to them. And films like Frozen and Brave are in many ways stealth feminism as the female leads are their own saviours.

But it’s the lack of variety, the lack of other choices that is the problem. It’s this intensification of gendered stereotypes, this narrowing of what it means to be a boy or to be a girl that has us in the trans mess we’re in where young girls wanting to transition and irreversibly damaging their bodies has shot up exponentially. A girl who doesn’t like princess stuff looks around and thinks she’s so out of sync with girlhood that she must have a boy’s soul.

Princesses are fine but not when it’s the only thing on offer.

100%! Could not have said it better myself.

smmanf12 · 21/08/2021 19:47

I don’t think there’s anything wrong per se, with princess parties.

This doesn’t mean that I think it’s ok to assume girls wouldn’t like science kits, or that a boy wouldn’t appreciate a sparkly unicorn toy.

YoComoManzanas · 21/08/2021 19:49

Much better than a creepy clown party of the 80s!

BoredZelda · 21/08/2021 19:50

YABU. Do you have a similar problem with Potter parties, or Marvel parties? I’m all for girls being encouraged to broaden their horizons but my daughter was capable of loving Elsa and yet preferring Diggerland to Disneyland.

BoredZelda · 21/08/2021 19:51

A girl who doesn’t like princess stuff looks around and thinks she’s so out of sync with girlhood that she must have a boy’s soul.

Nonsense.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 21/08/2021 19:54

@BoredZelda

YABU. Do you have a similar problem with Potter parties, or Marvel parties? I’m all for girls being encouraged to broaden their horizons but my daughter was capable of loving Elsa and yet preferring Diggerland to Disneyland.

I'm no Harry Potter fan but in my limited knowledge of it, it doesn't push the narrative that a woman's main attribute is to be pretty. The main girl wizard is a geek, isn't she?

smmanf12 · 21/08/2021 19:55

A girl who doesn’t like princess stuff looks around and thinks she’s so out of sync with girlhood that she must have a boy’s soul

What evidence is there for that? The girls in DS’ class like football, I know of 2 that play for the local team. One is into horses. Another does gymnastics. My own DD likes princesses but also a gazillion other things. She likes Mickey Mouse better than the super-femme Minnie. Why have you picked princesses specifically to make that point?

blubberyboo · 21/08/2021 19:56

Yabu

Being an independent woman is about choosing what you like

And manybgirls like princesses , dresses and make up

smmanf12 · 21/08/2021 20:05

Princesses are also not the only thing on offer. The last party my DS went to hosted by a girl (7th birthday) was a neon disco party with a face painter. Other parties he’s attended hosted by girls have included mermaid party and several soft play parties - clip and climb and swimming are also popular locally with boys and girls

rubbletrouble · 21/08/2021 20:15

A girl who doesn’t like princess stuff looks around and thinks she’s so out of sync with girlhood that she must have a boy’s soul

Absolutely not. I didn't like princess stuff, I played with "boys toys" more and "boys games" thankfully we now allow our kids to play with toys....just toys, not girls or boys toys....just toys. I didn't have a boys soul nor did I ever question it.

Look it's a kids party, you should inspire and empower your children successfully enough that a princess party does not leave their whole life's aspiration and self belief in tatters.

They can like princess and still aspire to do absolutely anything at all in the world.

VestaTilley · 21/08/2021 20:16

YANBU. I really don’t like this idea.

If ever I have a DD we may not be able to avoid it, but it’s really not something I’m keen on.

smmanf12 · 21/08/2021 20:33

@VestaTilley

YANBU. I really don’t like this idea.

If ever I have a DD we may not be able to avoid it, but it’s really not something I’m keen on.

Quite honestly I felt the same before I had DD. But they like what they like and if you have a DD that is into princesses she’ll also like a whole load of other stuff too - my DD likes a sparkly dress and princess sticker books but also a huge amount of other things that have nothing to do with princesses. It doesn’t stop her being a rounded little person

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/08/2021 20:45

My daughter is 19. Her favourite film ever is the Heffalump movie. She is currently roaming the house in dumbo pjs and dressing gown. She has absolutely no aspirations to be an elephant.

She is fiesty when she needs to be, caring when she needs to be, sassy and smart and has just smashed her first year at uni. She is involved in various uni activities has strong interests in ecological and political pursuits. She dressed up as a princess when she was younger. It really doesn't turn girls into simpering imbeciles waiting for a man to rock up and save them.

Fernando072020 · 21/08/2021 20:52

Raging tomboy here since I was very little and I see nothing wrong with it. It just shouldn't matter. A little boy could also have a princess party, and a little girl could have a football party. It just doesn't matter, as long as they are having fun.

Fernando072020 · 21/08/2021 20:53

@Thefirsttime

YANBU.

I’m not sure whether I’m more depressed by your question or the responses on this thread. I’m shocked by the first page of answers and it was so depressing I had to stop reading. Christ. Is this really what people want to teach their daughters to aspire to.

Yeah because there are so many out of work princesses out there 🙄

Thefirsttime · 21/08/2021 20:58

@lazylinguist

Ok... those of you who think the OP is BU - can I ask a question?

Do you believe that little girls generally like princesses and unicorns and boys generally like football and superheroes because of something innate in their chromosomes, their biology? In other words, do you believe in girl brains and boy brains?

EXACTLY.

Do people genuinely think girls are genetically programmed to like princesses and unicorns and boys have a genetic predisposition towards playing football and superheroes??

(They don’t. It is all social conditioning)

Mummytea24 · 21/08/2021 21:06

Really? What about the boys who like toys which are typically liked by girls. My children choose their own toys and like a mix of typically boys and typically girls. We don't push them either way.

terrywynne · 21/08/2021 21:08

The obsession with being a Princess, princess themed clothes for girls, daddy's little princess t-shirts etc always just makes me think of this meme...

AIBU princess parties is this what we are inspiring our girls to be ?

Mummytea24 · 21/08/2021 21:09

& why is bad to like unicorns and princesses? It's no worse than boys who want to be spider man when they grow up

5128gap · 21/08/2021 21:31

I don't think girls are genetically programmed to like unicorns and princesses, I think they have characteristics appealing to all children. Soft, gentle, kind and non threatening, aesthetically pleasing, colourful, sparkle and shine. What's not to like for a small child? Maybe we should be asking why we feel the need to socially condition our children to think that liking such things is wrong.

Glitterblue · 21/08/2021 21:32

Oh bore off. It's fine for little girls to like princesses. It doesn't mean they are going to end up downtrodden 1950s wives. My daughter loved Princess stuff for years. She now dislikes pink and anything too girly. They change as they get older. Just c out, let kids be kids and stop reading things into everything when it's not even an issue. I get so fed up of all these raging feminists sucking the fun out of everything

Glitterblue · 21/08/2021 21:33

*chill out

CanICelebrate · 21/08/2021 21:35

Yabu