AIBU princess parties is this what we are inspiring our girls to be ?

[bottleitsellit]

Just been to a Princess birthday party, my first one. So a women acts as your princess of choice with the wig and outfit and runs the party games instead of the parents. I just feel so sad about how all the girls were gushing over it. I suppose I wasn't brought up with princesses as my mum was very much a tomboy and I have lots of older brothers. My girls have fairies, witches amongst their toys just as my DS has dragons, Harry Potter, but we have really haven't gone with princesses as it's a bit old fashioned, a knight on a horse saving you. Maybe it's just me, they will prob now want princess everything 😬

Loads of princess films aren’t about a knight saving you though. Your example of Frozen is where the princesses save themselves. Also Brave, Moana etc. All about being strong and brave and independent. Being girly is not a negative.

@gabsdot45

My Dd had Elsa come to her birthday once. There were princess dresses for everyone. One little girl didn't want to be a princess so she got a spiderman suit instead

What a brilliant party.

I would argue that describing your mum as a "tomboy" is playing to gender expectations ie the implication that she should have been girly but wasn't.....

@ComDummings

Loads of princess films aren’t about a knight saving you though. Your example of Frozen is where the princesses save themselves. Also Brave, Moana etc. All about being strong and brave and independent. Being girly is not a negative.

Yes, they are really getting better, I think.

Why are people so hellbent on bringing down gender stereotypes? So what if girls like pink, and unicorn, and dolphins, and dolls etc, and boys like cars and boats and trains and dinosaurs etc...?

I was given dolls and teddy bears as a kid, and pink glittery soft toys, and a toy kitchen with toy plates and pretend food, and a toy nurse outfit complete with first aid kit, but I STILL loved cars, and trains, planes, and ships, and space and physics, and gardening, because I was a daddy's girl and loved what my dad loved.

I still love glitter and pink and pop music and unicorns and make-up and 'girly' stuff, but I am also interested in space, physics, ancient history, cars, ships, trains, and planes, and other typical 'not so girly' stuff.

Just let kids have what they want and do what they want. They will be what they will be. They won't be what YOU want, and trying to force the issue is pointless.

@bottleitsellit YABU. Let a girl have a pretty princess party if she wants. So YOUR girls don't like 'girly' stuff........ so what?

The Prince in Frozen turned out to be a complete arse didn't he?

If you felt this strongly, why take them to it?

My ds went to a Spiderman party once with a "real life Spiderman". He's got to 10 without once springing from a rooftop and crouching on one hand.

I'm sure they'll survive

Some people seem to think that if a girl wears a 'boys' costume, they are superior. Like 'that's sticking it to the patriarchy!' Such a bizarre attitude.

The invites didn't specify it was a princess led party. No costumes provided and fancy dress requested not requested .
I don't think boys stuff is superior, I was just adding that I've never really been exposed to princesses, or princess dress up now I've reflected on it. And therefore I haven't bought that stuff on my girls and they haven't asked for it.
I was super shocked this is a thing. I suppose when I was a kid people maybe booked a magician or a bouncy castle. I can't remember a clown really. I just remember parents doing party games and some running about.

YABU and I’m a huge supporter of kids not having gendered toys etc.

Princesses are likely to be only one element of their interest - my DD(4) loves princesses and fairies but also science, animals and Halloween themed stuff. But she’s a sucker for a pretty dress and a tiara. As a pp said, many Disney princesses nowadays are very strong and resourceful and independent - and have complex characters - Frozen, for one example, is about sisterly love not being rescued by a man.

@AngryWhompingWillow

Some people seem to think that if a girl wears a 'boys' costume, they are superior. Like 'that's sticking it to the patriarchy!' Such a bizarre attitude.

Totally agree with this - some parents are like ‘oh my daughter likes The Hulk, she’s so QuIrKy and DiFfErEnT.’ One isn’t better than another

This is just a party entertainer, no? Kids like princesses. There isn't anything more to it than that. I'm all for pointing out misogyny and inherently patriarchal structures to my dc but can't get too bothered about this.

Fwiw, my ds both used to like princesses at a young age. Better that than a clown!

Why are so many parents determined to police their kids interests to prove how "modern" and "woke" they are. Girls naturally gravitate towards princesses and dolls, boys naturally gravitate towards cars and dinosaurs. That being said my three year old son absolutely loves Frozen and I had to pretend it wasn't available for a while because I was so sick of it and don't really like the storyline. Why can't we just let children have their own interests and not obsess about gender neutrality

Also as pointed out up thread, Disney princesses are pretty independent and cool these days.

My DD loves Moana. The modern 'princess' films aren't traditional princess tropes at all. Just strong young women going on adventures.

@AngryWhompingWillow

Some people seem to think that if a girl wears a 'boys' costume, they are superior. Like 'that's sticking it to the patriarchy!' Such a bizarre attitude.

This is what I don’t understand! It’s a weird attitude. They’re the same people who praise boys who wear princess dresses usually.

If you want to squash gender stereotypes don’t tell girls being feminine is negative. It’s not. Liking pink and unicorns and dresses is not a bad thing and we shouldn’t tell children this. Being a tomboy does not make you better.

My new thoughts are that kids like what they like

Kids can only like what they're exposed to though. And things that they're encouraged to think are for people like them. Anyone who thinks that the majority of parents are offering princess parties equally to their sons and daughters is kidding themselves. As is anyone who thinks that there's no inequality or further consequences in the fact that boys generally do physical activity-based parties and girls are dressing up as princesses and playing at putting make-up on. I'm not saying the kids don't like these things. I just believe those preferences are largely down to nurture not nature.

@bottleitsellit

I suppose I'm just shocked how much Disney is still an influence. We have tried to watch Frozen, but neither DD's haven't warmed to it, DS watched it a bit, he liked the snowman. They haven't seen any of the older classic Disney princess films. We do have fairytale books sleeping beauty, Cinderella, Rapunzal ? Sp? but but they've just never taken to them. We must be in the minority then?

Yes, you’re all very unique and special. Good grief.

It’s a tough one. I used to love classic Disney, still do tbh but now I have two under two it’s made me re think a bit.
I don’t think the ‘some day my prince will come’ mindset is fab but equally I don’t want to deprive them of the classic Disney I loved so much.

I think I’m just gonna aim for a good balance, let them watch Disney films but read them ‘bedtime stories for rebel girls’ give them some romance based influences but also plenty of stories of strong independent women living their best lives after all both are viable options, maybe they’ll want to get married and be SAHP’s maybe they’ll want to be neurosurgeons either way as long as they’re happy it’s ok by me.

@Starjammer

My DD loves Moana. The modern 'princess' films aren't traditional princess tropes at all. Just strong young women going on adventures.

My favourite film!

I think it depends
If its genuinely what the child likes, they're shown a wide range of role models, toys and games and know that princesses are for both boys and girls to enjoy, it's fine
If its because they've been told "you can have a princess party because they're for girls" or have been equally steered in that direction then it's wrong

A mum at school told me my DS wasn't invited to her daughters party because it was princesses and "He wouldn't like sitting at a tea party would he" which made me feel really sad and also quite angry.

It all depends on the context.

@Ralph871 I have 2 girls and they have not naturally gravitated towards princesses. I personally believe it's parents thing oh girls love princesses and pushing it on them.

I have a boy too and no interest in dinosaurs ever, although he does love cars and farms, as do both girls. We have a range of toys, but I haven't got anything princess, it's never been asked for.

@Tocktock it's brilliant, isn't it? We watch it a couple of times a week, and the songs stay in my head for days! It's one film I don't mind watching again and again.

I will add, DS enjoys princess films as much as anything else and would have thoroughly enjoyed a tea party!

I'm a young adult woman and I still love some disney movies and shrek, as does my DC. Nothing wrong with liking princesses.

Nobody is superior for being a tomboy and liking princesses and having other interests are not mutually exclusive for kids

@bottleitsellit Guess your daughters will be on working building sites and oil rigs when they're grown then, and your sons will be nail technicians, and barmaids.

Good for you. You must be soooo proud. DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY!!!