To go on holiday without him….?

[PineapplePrincess]

Holiday booked for December. Me, DH and 2DC. Booked pre-pandemic.

Hubby is not vaccinated and country doesn't currently allow unvaccinated people entry. It’s unlikely to change position before we travel.

Option 1 - we go without him.

Option 2 - we abandon the holiday.

Husband is in favour of Option 2.

I’m wondering whether I could manage Option 1. Biggest difficulty other than keeping an eye on both kids in a foreign country, is driving - I’ve never done it outside of the UK and it would be in winter conditions.

Would it be unreasonable for me to consider going without him….?

[quote GallowwayGirl88]@timeisnotaline
There are posts saying it’s his choice, but there’s also a lot of name calling and “I couldn’t be with someone like him”, calling him self-centred for making his own medical decisions etc.

There is no need for nasty name calling.[/quote]
There is when his preferred option is for all his family to miss out on the holiday of a lifetime because of his medical choice. Isn’t that the definition of self centred??

I think he is selfish to expect that none of you go-especially as he could also go.

@SunscreenCentral

Was reading an article today about a couple who in the US have both died (unvaccinated) leaving 4 children. One of them was a neo-natal nurse. The mind just boggles Sorry about your issue OP, it's a difficult one and your dh is a fucking idiot .

I read this story. It wasn't one of the parents who was a neo-natal nurse, it was a cousin of theirs who was a nurse and who was trying to persuade them to get vaccinated, however they just wouldn't listen. In the end, the mums dying wish was for her kids to get vaccinated.

Terribly sad for those poor kids, just heartbreaking.

I really don’t think I could be married to an anti vaxxer tbh

But anyway I get your dilemma, have similar issues in a way because my husband is very anti-flying. He’d drive or take the train abroad but we are limited with time. Not been an issue this year but am strongly considering going without him next year. However, driving abroad, with two small kids in tow, is a red line for me personally. I’d only go without him on a fully inclusive package with transfers etc. But that is me being a bit of a wuss, I fully admit.
But broadly, yanbu. Take it he understands that by not getting the vaccine any international travel will be significantly curtailed, probably indefinitely? A good friend relented and got the vaccine once it became clear this would be the case

Whereabouts in Finland are you going? I've been to places near Kuusamo and Kittilla and the roads looked pretty well maintained from snow and ice, and unlike the UK, are all fitted up with snow tyres.

You are correct - taxis are expensive (I think we spent 40 euros on a 15km taxi journey) and while loads of the Finns speak English, it can be hard to book a taxi, you can't do Uber outside the major cities.

Back to your question - leave him home as long you're not going to be away Xmas Eve/Day.

@Aposterhasnoname

What country is not letting in unvaccinated people? I have not come across that, everywhere I have looked is more interested in testing than vaccination status

Malta and Finland for a start

There are many. France, Iceland, Greece for starters.

@GallowwayGirl88 regardless of whether his decision to get vaccinated is or isn't selfish, his decree that the rest of the family shouldn't go on holiday because of his choice IS self centred. Others should not do without because he chooses to. He could/should help OP find a way of going without him.

We’ll now you’ve said it ms a Santa trip I would try my hardest to go. Do you have relative or friend who could join you?

Seriously OP, go. This is a once in a lifetime experience for the children (and you) and if DH won't be vaccinated, it could be your only chance in the next few years of a holiday abroad. The children must surely just spend time with just you, so I think they'll be ok. Life is for experiences and creating memories, don't look back on this in ten years time and wish you'd gone. My DD is 20 now, the time you have with them goes before you know it.

Absolutely go without him. I was doing some research on the trenches, helping a child I babysit for. They were conscripted and had to have an experimental vaccine for small pox and typhoid. That was government control. Thank fuck the internet wasn't around or none of them would have survived.

Go without him.
Do you have someone else who can go with you ?
I'd ask my Mum - lovely to see the GC see Father Christmas.
I'd be rethinking my relationship actually- you may never be able to holiday as a family together again.

Assuming you’re doing a santa Lapland thing then I’d try and change the accomodation to somewhere less remote which you don’t have to drive to. And ideally take a mum or a mate.
But if your husband is not going to get the vaccine ever (!) then def don’t cancel.

@PineapplePrincess

He’s not entertaining the idea of getting vaccinated.

He’s not generally anti-vax. But is on the Covid one.

then he misses out on the holiday. tough

I absolutely support his right not to vaccinate if he doesn't want to.
But he doesn't get to stop you going on holiday because he's chosing not to.
Go without him.

Do your DC know about the holiday? I couldn't imagine cancelling the holiday because their dad is a small-minded arse especially when it is a once in a lifetime trip to see Santa!

I don't get anti-vaxxers saying their reasoning is the government want to control them but to then expect their family to miss out on things is ridiculous!

Is he never going to go on holiday / theatre / sports events etc ever again?

Go and take a friend as well to help out with the driving?

Like others have suggested I would find someone else to come with me instead and if not I'd go alone with the children, there is no way I'd let the children miss out due to his selfishness.

Don't let him wear you down and give in. Do as much research as you can and find a way to go! I just can't understand him being so selfish towards you and the children.

@MiddleEasternMummy

Without a doubt go without him ! Find a friend to go with . It's absolutely absurd that your children should miss out because he chooses not to be vaccinated. He sounds incredibly selfish ... for not being vaccinated and for wanting to deprive his children of a trip they are probably excited about . He's an arse 🤬

Totally this! If he wasn't vaccinated for medical reasons I would feel differently, but why should you all miss out cos he's an arse! He's made his choice not to have the jab, so now he has to bear the consequences

I wondered how long it’d take for the anti-vaccine nutters to spill off the Covid boards and find this thread.

100% go without him
How dare he even consider letting you and his children down?!

Ideally find someone else to go with
This would be a hard one for me to cope with and I would be telling him now, that you WILL be going on holidays in future - with or without him

A Santa trip? Why should your children miss out because of their father’s decision? You should definitely go.

I would absolutely go without him! It’ll be an utter waste of money otherwise and you & the kids would miss out due to his choices.

Driving in another country isn’t as difficult as you might think. And it sounds like it’ll be a quiet place so not too much traffic. Generally speaking, countries that get a lot of snow are all set up for winter driving conditions so might be easier than winter driving in the UK!

Take a friend who is good with your kids and have a wonderful time.

Your kids wont be little for long. They dont deserve to miss out on this because of your conspiracy theory idiot husband.

Leave him at home. Go on the holiday. Have a great time; just dont let the stress overtake you, dont have load self expectations which could get let down and ruin it, just go, let the kids enjoy it and enjoy seeing them have fun with whatever parts they enjoy.

Go without him (take a friend) and have a wonderful time.