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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday without him….?

555 replies

PineapplePrincess · 19/08/2021 23:57

Holiday booked for December. Me, DH and 2DC. Booked pre-pandemic.

Hubby is not vaccinated and country doesn't currently allow unvaccinated people entry. It’s unlikely to change position before we travel.

Option 1 - we go without him.

Option 2 - we abandon the holiday.

Husband is in favour of Option 2.

I’m wondering whether I could manage Option 1. Biggest difficulty other than keeping an eye on both kids in a foreign country, is driving - I’ve never done it outside of the UK and it would be in winter conditions.

Would it be unreasonable for me to consider going without him….?

OP posts:
NailsNeedDoing · 20/08/2021 09:46

Invite a friend and go without him. Make him pay for any extra costs to transfer the names.

BarbaraofSeville · 20/08/2021 09:46

It's likely that foreign travel for the unvaccinated will be off the cards or seriously restricted for years to come. Don't have your DC miss out on all these experiences because he won't have the vaccine.

Either get a friend or your DM/DSis etc to come with you, or go alone. Can you take public transport, taxis or hire an automatic to help with driving abroad. I understand this fear. I've tried it a few times and I just can't get my head around the gearstick being on the other side and I get my feet mixed up too, even though they're the same.

It's dangerous and I've more or less decided that it's something I should avoid, even though I'm a confident, experienced driver and go all over the UK regularly alone without any concerns.

It's like I reverse the mirror image in my head. Not the same, but when I have my eyes tested, because I know I'm reading it in the mirror, I subconsiously read from right to left, because that's how it is on the actual card.

aSofaNearYou · 20/08/2021 09:47

He wants you to cancel it and what, never go on holiday again because he won't get the vaccine? Yeah, fuck that. I'd be going.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 20/08/2021 09:48

This is going to be one in a long line of similar issues that come up if he maintains his refusal to get vaccinated. It is likely to severely restrict holidays and day to day activities as a family. It’s his right to not get vaccinated but it’s your right to consider the impact on you and your children and whether you resent him too much for that impact.

luckylavender · 20/08/2021 09:48

@Hobnobsandbroomstick - yes of course they are

phishy · 20/08/2021 09:50

Please do go, either by yourself or with someone else.

You abandoning the holiday will just make the twat feel smug.

Oblomov21 · 20/08/2021 09:51

I think he's deluded. Soon employers will ask staff if they've been vaccinated. Care workers have to prove they are. Those that are vaccinated won't want to be in an office with unvaccinated.

godmum56 · 20/08/2021 09:53

@Hyppogriff

Go without him and find a less ignorant husband !!
best answer so far.
godmum56 · 20/08/2021 09:57

@Jerseygirl12

I just read your post about taxi prices, could you budget for a few taxis, say every other day or look if there any excursions you can book that do pickups?
either that or strip out his bank account to pay for taxis Grin
HeartShapedBalloon · 20/08/2021 09:57

Go. You'll be fine!

millymae · 20/08/2021 09:57

Like the OP I would be weighing up what sort of holiday it would be without OH being there but I’d like to think I would be brave enough to call his bluff and go without him.
Like others have said he is perfectly entitled to choose not to be vaccinated but the needs to see that choices have consequences, and the consequences here are that he can’t go on holiday.
I’m glad he’s not my OH as I think I’d be wondering whether he cared more about his principles than he did us.

godmum56 · 20/08/2021 10:00

@GallowwayGirl88

Person wants to see long term data before getting a drug - a drug which the makers of have said is still in a trial phase and cannot be held responsible for any negative side effects. Mumsnet - “omg how selfish” Shock

OP - difficult situation for you, if you can take a friend/ family member with you I would. I’m sure lots of people would jump at the chance to go on such a fabulous sounding holiday!

@GallowayGirl88 Get your damn facts right

www.reuters.com/article/uk-factcheck-vaccine-monitoring-idUSKBN2AC2G3

Aprilx · 20/08/2021 10:03

What country is not letting in unvaccinated people? I have not come across that, everywhere I have looked is more interested in testing than vaccination status.

Crikeycroc · 20/08/2021 10:05

Is there someone else you can invite? I actually think it’s very important you go to demonstrate to your H that you won’t let him restrict your life due to his choices.

Els1e · 20/08/2021 10:05

Go without him. Put your kids first because he’s not.

bridgetreilly · 20/08/2021 10:07

It’s his choice not to get vaccinated and go. He doesn’t get to make that choice for you and the children. Don’t let him take this special experience away from them.

thingymaboob · 20/08/2021 10:07

Plenty of single parents holiday alone and have a great time / can manage. You'll have a wonderful time. He's a fool. Tell him you'll go on your own but he has time to change his mind otherwise all holidays will be without him.

Chocolatefreak · 20/08/2021 10:08

If your kids are at the age where they still believe in Father Christmas and may not for much longer, then you should definitely go this year while it's still magical for them (and for you).

By law, cars in Lapland have proper winter tyres which makes driving on snow/ice feel absolutely safe, nothing at all like driving on icy roads in the UK in winter. You'll have a great time.

Has your husband encountered any bad stories of people suffering from the vaccine in real life? I bet he hasn't - but I expect he's known people who've died from COVID.

ineedaholidayandwine · 20/08/2021 10:12

Go without him. No way should you have to cancel because he's being stupid

Divebar2021 · 20/08/2021 10:13

What country is not letting in unvaccinated people? I have not come across that, everywhere I have looked is more interested in testing than vaccination status

Finland. Apparently you can only enter as an unvaccinated person if you’re a resident or it’s for an essential reason eg certain professions / caring responsibilities. It’s easier for EU residents.

Crazycrazylady · 20/08/2021 10:14

I'd go in a heartbeat Op

mynameisbrian · 20/08/2021 10:15

I would be taking my DC on holiday. It sounds amazing and I would prioritise my DC happiness and leave my DH behind. I have no issue with his choice not to have a vaccine but I wouldnt allow his choices to impact on my DC

Botanica · 20/08/2021 10:15

100% go without him. Plenty of time for you to plan everything you need to so you feel comfortable.

It will be incredibly empowering and a great adventure for you all! Go and enjoy yourselves!

GiantHaystacks2021 · 20/08/2021 10:17

Leave the twat at home.
Enjoy your holiday.

Aposterhasnoname · 20/08/2021 10:18

What country is not letting in unvaccinated people? I have not come across that, everywhere I have looked is more interested in testing than vaccination status

Malta and Finland for a start