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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What’s the done thing with the Uni kids bedroom?

206 replies

WhatsAppening · 18/08/2021 20:21

I have plans.

The tumble dryer currently lives in the dining room Hmm so that’s going up there. I’m thinking a whole laundry room, with hanging space and even an ironing board.

DH wants to move his office up there (wfh for the foreseeable) as it’s bigger and lighter than the office downstairs, and spread his music stuff out over the office instead.

I’m also considering making it a walk in wardrobe.

DS is appalled and thinks we should stay the fuck out of his room while he’s away HmmGrin

What are your plans?

(Obviously lighthearted before anyone jumps on me, it will still be his bedroom however we repurpose it temporarily).

OP posts:
AaronStampler · 18/08/2021 20:25

I was first moved into the smallest bedroom in the house, and then it was turned into a study with a campbed. It certainly incentivised me to find other things to do in the holidays!

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/08/2021 20:26

Be home for holidays so staying as it is here.

DisgruntledPelican · 18/08/2021 20:28

Can’t speak as a parent, but as a teen mine became the ironing/laundry/junk room, but still with a bed and space in it for me (although I never returned for longer than a few weeks).

My parents decorated a few years later and made it into a proper guest room - then it stopped feeling like ‘mine’. Although I still usually stay in that room when I visit.

LawnFever · 18/08/2021 20:28

My room was given to my sister, I was just told that was happening and didn’t disagree, seemed bonkers it sitting empty when she was squashed into a much smaller room.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/08/2021 20:31

My brother moved into my room the night I went to uni and I was on a mattress on the floor when I came back until I moved in with a boyfriend a while later. Big families don’t have the luxury of leaving rooms empty for people who primarily live elsewhere. I hadn’t expected anything else and I find the preciousness about bedrooms especially for absent students on here really weird.

Do whatever best suits the people still living there full time and paying the rent/mortgage and bills.

DH is right. DS needs to grow up a bit.

Original poster
WhatsAppening · 18/08/2021 20:32

He’s already in the smallest room, it’s still a decent sized double with room for a wardrobe, chest of drawers and desk. So plenty of room to shuffle a few things around and repurpose it.

We went to IKEA today to get all his basics and started talking about it, he thought we’d leave it empty for him but that’s unreasonable, surely? It’s a biggish house but there are five of us so all space is at a premium.

OP posts:
unlimiteddilutingjuice · 18/08/2021 20:35

My Mum filled mine with a Japanese lodger pretty quick.
In all fairness, she was a much better daughter than me. More polite and ate less.

Kdubs1981 · 18/08/2021 20:35

Mine was left empty for me and remained my room. I will do the same with my son.

milian · 18/08/2021 20:38

Our rooms all stayed as our rooms until my parents moved house. I was still home half the year (2.5 months in the summer!) so would have felt like a huge rejection otherwise.

NannyAndJohn · 18/08/2021 20:38

We turned DS's room into a makeshift gym when he left 8 years ago.

He was perfectly happy with it - there's always been a bed in the spare room he can kip on when he comes to visit and he enjoyed the free use of our (high-end I must say) new machines in the holidays.

DD is leaving for Uni next month but we're keeping her room as it is for now, in case there's another Lockdown and she needs to come back home.

alloalloallo · 18/08/2021 20:40

We’re debating the same thing at the moment

DD1 is about to start her second year and living in a rental house rather than in halls and once she restarts again in September will only be home for odd weekends. She has the biggest bedroom in the house, and although her younger sister’s room is a reasonable size, it’s still quite small.

I think we’ll swap bedrooms - it seems mad DD1’s huge room is empty most of the time.

I want a sewing room and I also want a spare room so I think we’ll combine it somehow at some point, but it will always be available for her when she wants to come home

We’ll see how she goes this year and how much she’s home before making any real plans

BaronessEllaSaturday · 18/08/2021 20:40

I left my daughter's alone, it's here room and was here for holidays or weekends whenever she wanted to come home.

user1487194234 · 18/08/2021 20:41

My DCs rooms remain their rooms and will until they permanently move out

ShitShop · 18/08/2021 20:41

My DS is away studying and his room is staying exactly as it is. He’ll be home every few weeks to visit his GF and his uni room is tiny and just very functional. Having his own space to come back to is important for stability, as he’s working really hard on his course and is very stressed out, so when he’s back I want it to be normal and chilled for him.

I understand that in a smaller home it might not make sense to keep a big room empty, especially when it’s a uni course lasting for the best part of 3 years, but tbh the holidays are so long that it isn’t really 3 solid years anyway, they’re home for a good stretch in the summer and various other holidays as well as weekends here and there.

Nojobforoldmums · 18/08/2021 20:43

I would at least wait until he is settled at uni. Also is his accommodation term time only?

Be aware how you treat your kids at this time can set patterns and really impact your ongoing adult relationship

vodkaredbullgirl · 18/08/2021 20:43

Kept my dd's bedroom as it was, she has now been back home 3 yrs.

Ohveryfunny · 18/08/2021 20:46

My best friend's parents made it clear that her room was being taken over for other things as soon as she left. She took the hint and didn't return very often. Be aware of the message it sends.

There are also the practicalities of what will happen during the 5 months of the year in total when they're not in classes. And the possibility of another lockdown over this coming winter that could lengthen that.

WhileMyMeringueGentlyWeeps · 18/08/2021 20:47

I moved in while DD was away and went back to sofa bed when she came home.
Her room also housed an extra drying rack. That's in the living room now. Dang!

mrsevangelina · 18/08/2021 20:47

Depending on the uni he could be home six months of the year. What will he do then?

HelenHywater · 18/08/2021 20:54

i'm keeping rooms for my dds. It's nice having dd1 back at the moment. I don't know how long for as I'll want to downsize at some stage, but for the time they get to keep their rooms.

IndanthroneBlue · 18/08/2021 20:56

My parents sold the house and moved to Australia within the year.

tubbycustardtummyache · 18/08/2021 20:57

My room got rented out as soon as I went to uni!
I stayed on a camp bed when I came home. Needs must, my mum needed the money!

GuppytheCat · 18/08/2021 20:57

DH is using DS’s room as an office. Having back here at the moment, lovely though it mostly is, does mean DH and I are back to sharing a room for WFH.

When the first child left home we put foster kittens in his room. At least DH doesn’t scratch the walls.

JustLyra · 18/08/2021 20:58

I wouldn't be changing anything atm - especially with how disrupted everything has been for the last year or so. We have no idea what'll happen in the winter, plus there's all the holidays.

I don't consider uni as moved out. I don't want them to feel like they can't come home for weekends or holidays.

Babyroobs · 18/08/2021 20:59

They are back half the year. I don't think it's a good idea just to use their room for other things ! We did move an extra fridge into our son's room and there is a lot of stuff like paperwork and books. Now Ds1 is back ( graduated) he wants it all gone but we need the storage. It's hard.