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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What’s the done thing with the Uni kids bedroom?

206 replies

WhatsAppening · 18/08/2021 20:21

I have plans.

The tumble dryer currently lives in the dining room Hmm so that’s going up there. I’m thinking a whole laundry room, with hanging space and even an ironing board.

DH wants to move his office up there (wfh for the foreseeable) as it’s bigger and lighter than the office downstairs, and spread his music stuff out over the office instead.

I’m also considering making it a walk in wardrobe.

DS is appalled and thinks we should stay the fuck out of his room while he’s away HmmGrin

What are your plans?

(Obviously lighthearted before anyone jumps on me, it will still be his bedroom however we repurpose it temporarily).

OP posts:
2021mumma · 18/08/2021 22:16

With covid they have been home more than at uni so bedroom stayed as was

Lalliella · 18/08/2021 22:17

I’m with your DS. Stay the fuck out of his room. My DS is going to uni in October and I’m going to get him a nice new wardrobe for when he comes home at Christmas. It’s his room, in his home, for as long as he wants it to be.

daisyjgrey · 18/08/2021 22:20

Surely you leave it as their room until they finish uni and you know 100% that they're not moving home for whatever reason.

He'll be home for the holidays and Christmas. I would hate it if my child came home from uni in the holidays and had to sleep on an air bed in a room full of ironing because I couldn't wait a bit longer.

FilthyforFirth · 18/08/2021 22:20

My room remained my room as I was still living at home during the holidays. In fact it is still referred to as 'my room' now and I'm 36 with my own house!

I think repurposing it immediately is a bit mean!

witheringrowan · 18/08/2021 22:26

I had to move out of uni accommodation completely at the end of each term because it was used for college visitors and conferences. If your son has an arrangement like this or will be spending months there over the summer, I really don't think that you should be making many changes to his room. Certainly nothing that you couldn't clear out within an hour.

Passthecake30 · 18/08/2021 22:28

I think if mine left for uni I’d wfh in their rooms in term time, and free up the dining room table.

silverskinboots · 18/08/2021 22:29

To be honest both of mine came home regularly for weekends so I didn't do anything with them. Are you anticipating yours staying away for whole terms?

speakout · 18/08/2021 22:30

Kept it as it is.
Students get very long holidays.
My DD went into student accommodation for the first year- then came home again for the second year ( local Uni). She lives in a shated flat now, but still comes home a fair bit for home comforts.

mummysherlock · 18/08/2021 22:47

I grew up in a 3 bed house. My younger DSis, who had always had the smallest room, got my larger bedroom when I went to uni. My parents set my expectations regarding this once my offer came through and a week before I went we swapped rooms and I got to decorate my new smaller room how I wanted.
Tbh, I didn’t really expect anything different, my parents didn’t want one of the larger bedrooms of the house unoccupied for weeks at a time which is perfectly understandable when someone else living at the house FT could make use of the space. To kick off about it would be rather spoilt and entitled.
In answer to the question upthread about returning home for a few years after finishing studies, yes I did move back for a few years until myself and DP bought our house. I kept the smaller room as DSis chose not to go to uni and as I had had years of the larger room growing up, it was her turn to benefit from it. I have a great relationship with my parents and don’t feel that I was pushed out or rejected in any way.

HosannainExcelSheets · 18/08/2021 22:48

I'm lucky enough to live in a house now where my DC have a room each. But I did not grow up with this amount of space. With 4 siblings you can't expect "your" room to be preserved for you once you move out to uni.

I guess it depends on how much space you have and how much you need the room for other people/things.

thegcatsmother · 18/08/2021 22:52

Keep it as it is. Ds went off for sixth form and then uni, but returned home after that and is still here. We do have just ds though, and have two spare rooms besides his and our bedrooms, so it is no bother.

Runnerduck34 · 18/08/2021 23:04

We have kept DDs room as is, she has frequently returned home particularly during lockdown.
Even without lockdown uni year is short!
I do move my clothes airer in there ,so useful to have a " spare" room and extra space!
But its all turfed out and back to her space when she comes home. It will be her room for as long as she needs it and until she properly moves out .

WorriedWishingWell · 19/08/2021 08:40

We kept DC's rooms as theirs during uni years- they were all coming back frequently, and with COVID over 2 academic years more frequently and for longer periods than planned!
Now they've all graduated the smallest room is a study and we're about to embark on turning the other room into less of a Tutenkhamen tomb and more into a presentable spare room. Our children know they are welcome home at any time and there might come a time when they need to live with us, but I'm not setting up their rooms in aspic in the meantime

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 19/08/2021 08:53

My children’s bedrooms are there bedrooms even after they leave permanently

Having said that its obviously because we have the room, smaller rooms or more children (we have 3) then we would probably repurpose their rooms

IamnotSethRogan · 19/08/2021 08:55

Could DH use it as an office and then you use his office downstairs as a laundry room ? Maybe more convenient to have it downstairs. Similarly when he does come back, it's nicer to have a desk in there then a tumble dryer

Kerberos · 19/08/2021 09:00

When I left for uni 30+ years ago my parents moved house (not related) but made sure I had a space that was "mine". However once I'd gone I was rarely home again as I enjoyed my own space too much.

That said, even now if I needed a place to live I know for certain my parents have my back. I've always got a home with them if I need it. I'm hoping to get to the same place with my kids.

Everyone's circumstances are different, each person needs different things so the decision is always context based. It's doesn't seem fair to leave DC2+ in tiny rooms with the largest one left permanently sealed ready for the return of DC1 but if you have the space and concerns for DC1 then it might be the right decision.

AChickenCalledDaal · 19/08/2021 09:04

My first year student spent eight of the last twelve months living in their bedroom at home and studying remotely, so whatever you do I wouldn't rush into it just yet.

memememe · 19/08/2021 09:08

keep it as his room. he'll be home for 6 weeks at xmas, a week or so at easter then for 4 months from end of may till mid sept. he'll need it this year. when hes in a house next year (rather than halls) i expect he'll stay at uni more...

Catwoman1985 · 19/08/2021 09:09

I think whilst they're returning for holidays, it would stay their bedroom but as soon as they move somewhere more permanently, it would become a guest bedroom or similar.

Brimorion · 19/08/2021 09:12

@AnneLovesGilbert

My brother moved into my room the night I went to uni and I was on a mattress on the floor when I came back until I moved in with a boyfriend a while later. Big families don’t have the luxury of leaving rooms empty for people who primarily live elsewhere. I hadn’t expected anything else and I find the preciousness about bedrooms especially for absent students on here really weird.

Do whatever best suits the people still living there full time and paying the rent/mortgage and bills.

DH is right. DS needs to grow up a bit.

Exactly this. The day I left for university, one of my sisters moved into my room (having previously been sharing a room so small there was barely space to stand between the beds) and I was on the sofa if I came home in the vac. Yes, it does mean you’ve definitely moved out at 17 or 18, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Woolver23 · 19/08/2021 09:18

I tidy it a bit and clear the clutter, then younger DD spreads into it as as kind of dressing room.

Notasyoungasiwas · 19/08/2021 09:20

Room will be staying the same as she'll be back during the holidays

yellowglass · 19/08/2021 09:20

I had 2 DC's sharing,

As quick as DS was moving his stuff out to pack the car , his sibling was moving their stuff in .

Even he agreed that having an empty room when his siblings were sharing was ridiculous.

They go back to sharing when he does to visit ( it's quite the sight seeing him wrapped up in a Pink unicorn duvet set surrounding by cuddly toys Grin)

ShellfishLove · 19/08/2021 09:22

My younger sister was given my room as soon as I went to uni (she’s considerably younger) and I was given the box room. My parents say now that they realise it was rather unkind as I only had 8 week terms and had no where private to study when I returned. I don’t remember being overly upset by it at the time, but my sister has had a much more privileged life overall (private school, exotic holidays every year, whilst I had a very difficult younger childhood), and sometimes I do think as a small gesture, they could have kept my room for those 3 short years.

Howshouldibehave · 19/08/2021 09:23

We moved the next sibling (who was in a tiny bedroom) into it, as soon as the first went to university. It just wasn’t fair to have this massive bedroom sitting empty for half the year. Everyone always knew this would happen though as it was discussed beforehand.

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