What’s the done thing with the Uni kids bedroom?

[WhatsAppening]

I have plans.

The tumble dryer currently lives in the dining room so that’s going up there. I’m thinking a whole laundry room, with hanging space and even an ironing board.

DH wants to move his office up there (wfh for the foreseeable) as it’s bigger and lighter than the office downstairs, and spread his music stuff out over the office instead.

I’m also considering making it a walk in wardrobe.

DS is appalled and thinks we should stay the fuck out of his room while he’s away

What are your plans?

(Obviously lighthearted before anyone jumps on me, it will still be his bedroom however we repurpose it temporarily).

We never touched the older twos rooms, and won't with our younger twos, either. Not until they've bought their own places - everyone needs somewhere that is properly 'home', especially students. I do think familiarity is key!

I think I must have been in my second year when my mum broached the idea of making 'my room' a bit nicer for other people to stay in. She was hesitant, but I was really pleased that she was ready to change stuff. I'm the youngest of four, and was the last to leave. It was a wrench for us both when I went to uni, and I still miss her every day (she died in 2009) but it was also a bit of a heavy weight to carry - the knowledge that there's a hole in someone's life that's being left vacant 'in case you need it'.

I was never in doubt that I was very much loved - even if the yellow colour scheme of her spare room wasn't quite what I would have chosen myself.

Yup, some shared rooms at Bristol uni. And a few at UEA. They are the only two unis I know about...!

When DD1 left for uni, she was immediately turfed out of her room by DD2, who was in a much smaller single room. Now DS has moved out (permanently!) DD1 will move back out of the single room and appropriate his old room (also a double) when she comes back at Christmas. Musical rooms.

But I have to say, it has been very useful having DS's room empty. It is currently housing university junk, laundry, and stuff I'm selling on eBay. Not sure I'm happy to give it up.....

Mine was kept as my room, I was home in the holidays. It was used by guests when I was away on occasion. The expectation was that I'd return home after uni though. My parents couldn't financially support me through uni or house deposits etc but they did live on the outskirts of London, so moving home allowed me to get a decently paid job and save like crazy to buy my own home (for which I am eternally grateful). They did have to refurnish my room when I properly moved out because I took the bed, bedside table and chest of drawers with me when I bought my first flat at 25 😁 (they offered tbf)

@pointythings my room at Durham was shared and I know there are plenty in the older accommodation on the bailey that still are

My room was snaffled by my brother soon after I went to uni. I then worked away from home most of my holidays after that. Can't remember if the two things were connected, or just worked out that way...

Dd moved to uni two years ago.
Good thing we didn't convert her room away from her bedroom as out of the last 6 terms, she's only had 3 at uni. Would have been very difficult.

@Lemonsyellow

My DC shared a room, so the room stayed as it was for their sibling.

Same. Uni student Ds has a bigger bed so I can foresee younger Ds sleeping in that while he has the room to himself.

Storage room at the moment - restored back into his bedroom whenever he comes home (which isnt often sadly, his choice)
When he has totally moved out into his own place Ill still have a bed for him in there but am also planning on turning it into a 2nd lounge/room to retreat to.

Dd's room will be redecorated and turned into a nice guest room, she can use it when she comes back for Uni holidays.
Nice way to tell her she no longer lives there, she's been relegated to guest status. What happens if another guest wants to use it at the same time, do they draw straws?

@Kdubs1981

Mine was left empty for me and remained my room. I will do the same with my son.

This. Unless that is you don't want him coming back or feeling like part of the family anymore.

Swapped to a tiny room which I feel bad about but it wasn't fair for DC3 to have to do GCSEs in a box room when DC1 is away an awful lot. Bought new furniture so think it's OK.

@SundaySheAteChocolate

Swapped to a tiny room which I feel bad about but it wasn't fair for DC3 to have to do GCSEs in a box room when DC1 is away an awful lot. Bought new furniture so think it's OK.

We only did this after a year though as didn't want her to feel rejected.

@SundaySheAteChocolate

Swapped to a tiny room which I feel bad about but it wasn't fair for DC3 to have to do GCSEs in a box room when DC1 is away an awful lot. Bought new furniture so think it's OK.

Swapping rooms with someone who lives there full time is completely different.

I'm jolly glad we didn't repurpose DDs room, she needed it for a chunk of last year when the unis abruptly kicked everyone out, and this summer - full of all her worldly possessions between the end of uni and the start of her job. But the house she's renting with her BF is tiny (jobs in an expensive area) so I'm sure loads of her stuff will be here for a good while yet.

If I'm lucky I'll be able to put the drying rack in there and dump the ironing pile on her bed.

Ours were kept for a year or two, though a few bits and pieces did move in... Once I'd bought my own house (aged 24) my room was quickly repurposed into a guest room / sewing room. I still stay in there when we visit (DH and I in separate single bed rooms ) but it's been redecorated very nicely and I'm glad my mum can make use of it day to day! I'd have been upset if it had been changed whilst I was still coming and going though!

I think it's really important for uni students to have their room to come back to if at all possible. Uni is fun but can be a really difficult/lonely time for some and I definitely needed my sanctuary at home. Also he will inevitably end up living in some level of squalor so coming home at weekends/in holidays will be like a holiday. I loved coming home for the weekend and sleeping in my own room.

When I went to nursing school my unwell gran moved into my room. I had no problem sleeping in the spare bed when I came home.
My son leaves this September and we are lucky enough we don't need the space and it will stay as is.
Though my parents are eyeing it for a long stay if they can make it here at all in the next year due to travel restrictions.

It's a long time since I was at uni but my room stayed my room. We already had a spare (full of junk) room so it wasn't needed. My DM would sleep in it if DD snoring drove her mad and possibly dried washing there. I was of probably in it 21 weeks a year and an odd weekend. I'm pretty certain the majority of my course, who weren't mature students did the same. Some had been swapped to the smaller room if they had younger siblings.

My 2 DS's share a room which is the biggest in the house but still not a huge room (terraced council house to give you an idea of size). DS1 will not let DS2 stay in the room while he's there as they both like to chat to friends on Xbox and DS1 doesn't want DS2 hearing his business so DS2 has been banished to the kitchen where he sits all day for xbox and homework and just where his space is. So when DS1 went to uni last year DS2 was so happy to finally get his own space. DS1 came home every 2nd weekend though and DS2 was again sent to the kitchen. Then lockdown happened so you can guess where DS2 has spent the last few months.

DS1 is very inconsiderate, talks all night long on the xbox, stays up all night etc and doesn't think that anything should change when he comes back for weekends/holidays however the room is getting a total clear out and DS1s stuff boxed up as he has ALL the room space taken over and DS2 has just a single bed and that's it. Even DS2s chest of drawers now has DS1s PS4 and spare TV on it. So DS1s stuff is being boxed up and DS2 is getting the room set up to suit him for an important school year. DS1 doesn't believe that this is happening and expects no changed to be made. He is going to be quite shocked when he comes home to just his bed and a few bits and pieces in the room. He can always make use of the kitchen though.

God, you should never have entertained that nonsense in the first place, Boris

@BorisTheBellendPM

My 2 DS's share a room which is the biggest in the house but still not a huge room (terraced council house to give you an idea of size). DS1 will not let DS2 stay in the room while he's there as they both like to chat to friends on Xbox and DS1 doesn't want DS2 hearing his business so DS2 has been banished to the kitchen where he sits all day for xbox and homework and just where his space is. So when DS1 went to uni last year DS2 was so happy to finally get his own space. DS1 came home every 2nd weekend though and DS2 was again sent to the kitchen. Then lockdown happened so you can guess where DS2 has spent the last few months.

DS1 is very inconsiderate, talks all night long on the xbox, stays up all night etc and doesn't think that anything should change when he comes back for weekends/holidays however the room is getting a total clear out and DS1s stuff boxed up as he has ALL the room space taken over and DS2 has just a single bed and that's it. Even DS2s chest of drawers now has DS1s PS4 and spare TV on it. So DS1s stuff is being boxed up and DS2 is getting the room set up to suit him for an important school year. DS1 doesn't believe that this is happening and expects no changed to be made. He is going to be quite shocked when he comes home to just his bed and a few bits and pieces in the room. He can always make use of the kitchen though.

Why on Earth did you allow that to happen?

It shouldn’t have taken your DS1 to go to Uni for your DS2 to be allowed in his own room.

This is an eye opening thread for me. Now I understand why full blown adults with their own houses and children go absurdly ape when their parent's house is sold.

I had a room at home til I was 25. It was tidy and uncluttered a s guests sometimes stayed in it but it was still decorated how I liked it with some of my things there. It meant I still felt at home and liked to go stay with my family.

When my dc go I will do the same for them. Their rooms will be as they have been through 6th form except a bit tidier and if we need to use them for guests or anything in their absence we will, but I want them to feel they have somewhere to come home to as long as they need it.

Obviously it depends on space, but if you don’t need the room then it seems a bit mean turning it into a sewing room or whatever.

However, second others in that in this day and age a young person isn’t able to fly the nest very easily. For a start there was the pandemic, and there is the move to working from home. I hope some of the posters sneering at young people still in their childhood rooms are not the same ones bellowing for permanent home working on other threads/in real life.

Ds’s new job is wfh, and many of his friends - with professional graduate trainee jobs such as chartered accountancy or with big tech firms - are trapped in their bedrooms for 8 hours a day wfh. Good job their parents didn’t convert their bedrooms into guest or laundry rooms.