To think this is really bad form?

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My friend has gone abroad for a long weekend with a group of other friends.

The hosting accommodation had offered them a few extra days at a reduced cost due to last minute availability.

My friend is the only one that cannot afford to do this both in time and money.

All the others are talking about how they are all up for staying on, seemingly only concerned with themselves and not any regard for my friend and the fact that her transport is with them so would have to make entirely new and additional cost arrangements to get home alone.

That's bad form isn't it? I would have expected an all for one type situation where either they all stay, or they all go.

However, it's incredibly immature and irresponsible to agree to a holiday you can barely afford and head off in a car, assuming the driver will be able to get you back on time.

Now it's immature and irresponsible to arrange a car share. Wow. Just wow.

@Brimorion

And we’re still very good friends ten years later.

Your problem. You were stranded. You said your gite was in/around Tarbes, not even where you said it was (Gers). They dumped on you, and you let them. They know your limits. Hmmm.

The Gers is near the Spanish border, Tarbes is even nearer. If they were north of Tarbes they could have been in the Gers not Gascony. I’m not sure why you’re being so rude to @Brimorion it’s not doing you any favours.

Is she in Europe? Surely she just needs to book a flight from wherever she is to home, or alternatively book strain to Paris then jump on the hover craft to Dover and train from Dover to home

So is she expecting friends to pay for her to get home. It's not the friends fault she can't stay a few extra days, and your friend shouldn't have travelled with no emergency fund.
Are you not in a position to wire her a loan to get a bus to the airport and a plane home

I drive but my best friend doesn't. If ai was here ride, but wanted to stay longer I would definitely pay for her transport home, as it would be pretty shitty otherwise

If I*

your friend shouldn't have travelled with no emergency fund.

This is what I don't understand either. Stuff happens. This time it resolved itself, but it might have been something serious.

@HalzTangz

Is she in Europe? Surely she just needs to book a flight from wherever she is to home, or alternatively book strain to Paris then jump on the hover craft to Dover and train from Dover to home

Who would think of that? A total revelation. 😉

@HalzTangz

So is she expecting friends to pay for her to get home. It's not the friends fault she can't stay a few extra days, and your friend shouldn't have travelled with no emergency fund. Are you not in a position to wire her a loan to get a bus to the airport and a plane home

She wasn't expecting that...they changed plans so her lift was suddenly unavailable.

And as for 'shouldn't travel without emergency funds' not everyone HAS that luxury! do you suggest they don't travel?

[quote Doodlebug71]**@Brimorion. In the context of France as a whole — and Gers not being a particularly well-known département outside of France — ‘southwest France, close to the Spanish border’ isn’t actually inaccurate to describe a gîte nearish to Tarbes, but thank you for the geography lesson. hmm

I checked the map, because I know how far south Gers is. It's not close to the border at all. Tarbes is in Gascon, not Gers. You do need the geography lesson. Tarbes is another hour south. I know where these places are. Don't be blaming *me for your own ignorance.[/quote]
You seem weirdly angry about and over-invested in a situation that happened to someone else a decade ago, @Doodlebug71. You might need to work on the reading comprehension. I said ‘nearish’ to Tarbes, not that Tarbes was in Gers — and frankly, when you’ve driven down from the midlands of England, including a breakdown just outside Le Mans that involved trying to find a hire car that would fit all the luggage on a weekend afternoon in August, distances are fairly relative. And it was close enough for me to fly back from Tarbes-Lourdes airport when I needed to get home by myself.

The ‘stranded’ and ‘dumped on’ stuff is your angry, over-invested imagination working overtime again. I never said anything to suggest that, because that’s not what happened. I said I had to get home by myself. My friends are great, but feel free to reinvent them as demonic.

I disagree, if you go to London with friends, they stay over but you choose not too, then you make your own way back at your own cost.
As for holidays, you should also have some emergency money as literally anything could happen

"I disagree, if you go to London with friends, they stay over but you choose not too, then you make your own way back at your own cost."

Yes, but that's London. If you go to a cottage in the countryside in shared cars, you can't ask one of the people to just make their own way home. And no, I don't think she has to pay for her travel either. The agreement was to car share there and back.

As for emergency money, the friend may have some, but this is not an emergency!

@HalzTangz

Is she in Europe? Surely she just needs to book a flight from wherever she is to home, or alternatively book strain to Paris then jump on the hover craft to Dover and train from Dover to home

Because every single town and village in Europe has an airport?

I would be absolutely mortified to think a group of people who wanted to stay on and enjoy a holiday, would all opt not to, just to enable me to come home. To me, that is beyond entitled.

Likewise, if I were part of the group wanting to stay on and one person didn’t, I’d be helping and supporting them to find an alternative way home.

Surely there is a middle ground.

"t's not the friends fault she can't stay a few extra days, and your friend shouldn't have travelled with no emergency fund."

It's the friends' fault they changed the agreement.
I've done loads of car pooled trips and the agreement is always that you go there and back together. You can't just leave someone stranded in the countryside.

Yes, but that's London. If you go to a cottage in the countryside in shared cars, you can't ask one of the people to just make their own way home. And no, I don't think she has to pay for her travel either. The agreement was to car share there and back.

The countryside doesn’t have buses and trains?

If you need to go and they want to stay they give you a lift to the nearest transport.

@TatianaBis

Glad it's resolved. But no it's not bad form. It's bad form to expect others to give up a holiday because you can't drive.

@@TatianaBis They didn’t “give up” anything. They added on to their holiday, which left one person in their party in a bind. If you’re going to make an argument, make sure it’s factual.

😂

"The countryside doesn’t have buses and trains? confused"

Quite often, no, or they may have limited provision. This is obvious, surely.

@drpet49

* One car is coming back and one car will be staying on.*

^What exactly is the issue here then?

No issue, OP decided to judge and question whether to remain friends with a group of people who were clearly still in discussion stage (rather than made final decision as the opening post lead everyone to believe)

@Gwenhwyfar

"The countryside doesn’t have buses and trains? confused"

Quite often, no, or they may have limited provision. This is obvious, surely.

In the Amazon, sure. In Europe, nah. Your mate drives you to the station. If that’s a long way off they drive you to the nearest bus.

@LimeRedBanana

‘Long weekend’ just means not a full week, it’s not really worth fixating on, it’s not the point of the discussion.

A long weekend generally means tagging a Friday or Monday onto a weekend break. The OP would have been better to describe it as a short week holiday so has not to confuse people

a group of people who were clearly still in discussion stage (rather than made final decision as the opening post lead everyone to believe)

The hosting accommodation had offered them a few extra days at a reduced cost due to last minute availability.

My friend is the only one that cannot afford to do this both in time and money.

All the others are talking about how they are all up for staying on,

Reading comprehension please. Accommodation offered, others talking about it. That's very clear to me that no final had been made.