To think this is really bad form?

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My friend has gone abroad for a long weekend with a group of other friends.

The hosting accommodation had offered them a few extra days at a reduced cost due to last minute availability.

My friend is the only one that cannot afford to do this both in time and money.

All the others are talking about how they are all up for staying on, seemingly only concerned with themselves and not any regard for my friend and the fact that her transport is with them so would have to make entirely new and additional cost arrangements to get home alone.

That's bad form isn't it? I would have expected an all for one type situation where either they all stay, or they all go.

Well, of course people can be pissed off if there was a chance of a longer holiday that they were able to avail of, but couldn’t, because of one person.

Why, why do I get sucked into these petty arguments?

@LimeRedBanana

Well, of course people can be pissed off if there was a chance of a longer holiday that they were able to avail of, but couldn’t, because of one person.

Why, why do I get sucked into these petty arguments?

They can be disappointed that they couldn't take up the opportunity, but they can't really be angry with OP's friend. They all agreed to leave on the Thursday originally.

Why has your friend not taken emergency cash? What would she do if something came up e.g. tested positive for covid? Surely people have a plan B at a time like this?

It's a difficult situation and you would hope her friends would be more thoughtful, but there's nothing much she can do.

No not bad form. The friend doesn't have to make new travel arrangements. Just keep the old ones and travel home alone.

People can be really selfish and entitled when it comes to holidays. They seem to think they should have anything they want and to hell with whoever it might inconvenience.

I worked 10 years in the travel industry and saw some appalling behaviour by people in resort. Friends left behind, friends left in dangerous situations etc all because “it’s my holiday and I will do absolutely anything I want”

I think it’s shitty , but people are so selfish these days I’m not even shocked . I have to admit I don’t think I would remain friends with people who did that .

Glad it's resolved. But no it's not bad form. It's bad form to expect others to give up a holiday because you can't drive.

@TatianaBis

Glad it's resolved. But no it's not bad form. It's bad form to expect others to give up a holiday because you can't drive.

That's it, really.

• and I don't drive.

It's hardly 'giving up a holiday' if you can't take up an offer of extra days!

They've HAD their holiday, this was extra.

Proper friends would either, come home as planned (or as has been sorted, one lot come home, one lot stay) OR, arrange transport home for the one who has to leave, and cover her costs.

Shitty friends would say 'ha I've the option of something lovely, never mind that it screws you over friend, fuck you, yer on yer own'.

As for 'you shouldn't travel if you can't afford unexpected extras'.. if that were the case half the population would never travel. Some of us do have to do things on a budget and wouldn't be in a position to splurge funds reserved for something else on a non emergency such as 'we want to stay, find your own way home'.

@TatianaBis

Glad it's resolved. But no it's not bad form. It's bad form to expect others to give up a holiday because you can't drive.

The ability to drive is neither here nor there. Even if she could drive they took 2 cars. So there’s another 5/6 people who also don’t have their own car or transport with them. It would be crazy for them all to drive individually. Why is this even part of the discussion?

If I took 3 friends in my car to a remote location, I am aware that regardless of my wants, it would be shitty to decide to change my plans and refuse to help them get home.

Ok extra holiday. You can't ask people to give that up just because you can't drive and you didn't budget any excess travel funds. Doing something on a budget includes funds for unforeseen circumstances particularly in a pandemic. What would have happened if borders had been closed or the ferry/plane/whatever had been cancelled and they had to spend a night in a hotel?

I think the outcome is perfectly reasonable.

The ability to drive is neither here nor there. Even if she could drive they took 2 cars. So there’s another 5/6 people who also don’t have their own car or transport with them. It would be crazy for them all to drive individually. Why is this even part of the discussion?

If she could drive herself she could hire a car.

@TatianaBis

The ability to drive is neither here nor there. Even if she could drive they took 2 cars. So there’s another 5/6 people who also don’t have their own car or transport with them. It would be crazy for them all to drive individually. Why is this even part of the discussion?

If she could drive herself she could hire a car.

And take it on a ferry back to England?! I don’t think you can. The ferry is booked with specific car registrations for security reasons etc.

How would you feel if a friend took you somewhere far away with limited and expensive public transport options, on the understanding you’ll be returning together. Then she decides she’d rather do something other than bring you home?

You’d really be perfectly fine with that? Not even a bit miffed?!

And it isn't just the extra cost, OP's friend is due back at work...

She’s an adult, everyone needs to be responsible for themselves.

Am I in a parallel universe where it doesn’t matter if you’ve made plans or promises to people? That you can leave people in the lurch with zero fucks given because “they’re an adult”

Wtaf?

Apparently so Badger!

It sounds like the friend sat quietly back and let the group solve the problem for her. That's definitely poor form.

Presumably this is in France. Direct flights from French airports to London tomorrow range from £28-75 tomorrow. I get that some people travel on a shoestring (me!) but if you genuinely can't drum up £75 for an unexpected extra you really shouldn't be travelling this year.

@GreatBritishBummertime

It sounds like the friend sat quietly back and let the group solve the problem for her. That's definitely poor form.

Presumably this is in France. Direct flights from French airports to London tomorrow range from £28-75 tomorrow. I get that some people travel on a shoestring (me!) but if you genuinely can't drum up £75 for an unexpected extra you really shouldn't be travelling this year.

Over three hours from airport and lives nowhere near London.

@Badgercity

Am I in a parallel universe where it doesn’t matter if you’ve made plans or promises to people? That you can leave people in the lurch with zero fucks given because “they’re an adult”

Wtaf?

I think this has been the most striking thing from the responses, is how many people wouldn't bat an eyelid at dropping their friends to suit themselves.

Appreciate the different perspectives and all, and I think the majority were actually empathetic to the situation which I'm going to accept as not being unreasonable in the circumstances.

@JustABloodyMinute

Why has your friend not taken emergency cash? What would she do if something came up e.g. tested positive for covid? Surely people have a plan B at a time like this?

It's a difficult situation and you would hope her friends would be more thoughtful, but there's nothing much she can do.

But this is not an emergency is it?

@Eralos

She’s an adult, everyone needs to be responsible for themselves.

Not when you are car sharing in a group!

Over three hours from airport and lives nowhere near London.

It was illustrative that if it is France a flight back is not an outlandish expense. I'm sure the friends would have given a lift to the airport if asked, or help her find a coach.

Does anyone rlse get marked by people who comneny but haven't read the comments or is it just me?