To think DP should get up with his kids?

[Julianne82xoxo]

Reporting to you live from bed!

DP hates mornings. Hates them. Would happily stay in bed all morning if he could and is very grumpy for about half an hour to an hour after getting up most days. We have agreed to disagree on whether or not this is reasonable.

He has three kids from a previous relationship who are 5,7 and 8. They are here longer than the usual arrangement over the holidays and are staying for for ten days on this occasion. He is on holiday from work and I am still working. They are up and awake and have made themselves cereal. Currently playing and knocking/coming into the room clearly bored and looking for us to get up.

Yesterday I had my second jab and was feeling quite unwell last night so my manager told me not to rush into work today. I am now awake, bit groggy but generally in the position that I feel I need to get up for work, but know I will be bombarded with questions and all sorts from the kids who want company.

I think DP should get up, even though he hates mornings, so I can get ready and go to work without tripping over the kids. His argument would be that I can just ignore them if I want to, and that they're perfectly happy and able to entertain themselves until he's ready to get up. Who is being unreasonable?

Oh sorry - missed the voting option. YANBU would be I am right in that DP should get up. YABU would be that DP is right and he's on holiday too and needs the lie in.

Bloody hell he sounds like a Prince.

YANBU.

What time does he usually rise from his pit?

He sounds like a knob.

They are far too young to be knocking around the house alone for hours in the morning.

He is a lazy cunt and tbh I’d be telling his ex what a useless piece of shit he is.

He is.

They’re his kids

He’s off work.

You’re not feeling well. I felt really rubbish for a day after my jabs. I thought I was fine then realised I couldn’t really sit up at my computer and went to bed.

YANBU. The youngest is 5.... that's really crappy parenting from him.

And crappy partnering as you're unwell

He’s a lazy bastard

Why doesn't he bring you breakfast in bed so you don't have to run the gauntlet of the fruit of his loins downstairs yourself?

Tell him it's the obvious solution. 😁

He is unreasonable, but in your shoes I'd be happy to get up and ignore them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Go ask daddy!"

Oh wow, wasn't expecting such a vehement response! He isn't a lazy cunt or anything like that. We disagree on the morning thing.

He says he's always been like this, his mum is the same. He can't help it, he wakes up feeling grumpy and irritable and slowly warms up. I think it isn't fair to expect me to put up with him being grumpy with everyone, me the least but still including me, for 3.5hrs a week minimum for the rest of my life. We compromise with him making an effort to give me a kiss and a cuddle before he goes to work even if he can't smile yet.

I think that if he could contain himself to be pleasant enough to his boss at work when grumpy he can use the same mechanism to be pleasant to me and the kids!

It's a contentious issue in our house.

Or when you do go downstairs, greet all approaches with "Ask YFYBF" and send them upstairs. Be sure to leave the bedroom door open when you leave the room. Do you have any tambourines, harmonicas or recorders to distribute? If not, never mind; just given each a saucepan and a metal spoon and tell them to get daddy up. Close the front door quietly behind you.

What a selfish git!!! I used to HATE mornings, had to be dragged out of bed for school and, I shit you not, to open presents on Christmas Day! That’s how much I loved my bed!
But of course that went out the window when the kids came along! At the very least he could relocate to the couch to be in the same room as his children.

He hates mornings and has 3 young kids and you're not particularly feeling yourself either this morning. Good luck to you and your future! Some women say they never 'saw it coming' when there were more red flags than at a communist revolution gathering.

No @Julianne82xoxo he IS a lazy cunt darling.

OK as someone who hates mornings too I'm going to go against the grain here... and say its not terrible parenting to have a lie in when you're on leave and the kids are perfectly capable of getting their own cereal and entertaining themselves for a few hours!

Honestly just say to the kids, "Good morning everyone, in a rush to get to work, sorry!"

(I can't belive people think these kids are too young to play alone? Do you all keep your kids in the same room with you at all times??)

Clearly someone before you got tired enough of his grumps to make him their ex. Is he planning to make a habit of losing partners like that, I wonder?

Nobody wants to share a cave with a bear.

Everyone hates mornings with young children but you get up and do it because that’s being a parent.

@Julianne82xoxo

Oh wow, wasn't expecting such a vehement response! He isn't a lazy cunt or anything like that. We disagree on the morning thing.

He says he's always been like this, his mum is the same. He can't help it, he wakes up feeling grumpy and irritable and slowly warms up. I think it isn't fair to expect me to put up with him being grumpy with everyone, me the least but still including me, for 3.5hrs a week minimum for the rest of my life. We compromise with him making an effort to give me a kiss and a cuddle before he goes to work even if he can't smile yet.

I think that if he could contain himself to be pleasant enough to his boss at work when grumpy he can use the same mechanism to be pleasant to me and the kids!

It's a contentious issue in our house.

Aw bless he can't help it - fuck that shit, he can, he just can't be arsed

He IS a lazy cunt.

He has 3 DC, THREE. If he's not a morning person, he must have realised that him + parenting don't mix after the 1st child and yet he went on to have a 2nd and then a 3rd.

Guess what? Kids need parenting and they need parenting from early in the morning.

He should go to bed earlier so he can actually act like a father to his children, what a useless sack of shit.

PLEASE do not procreate with this man!

He isn't a lazy cunt or anything like that.

Yes he is.

They are his children, for whom he is responsible, and they clearly need at least some input in the morning. Him refusing to get up is deflecting that onto you. The moodiness is one thing, I suppose I can see how you might agree to disagree on that one, but offloading responsibility onto you is quite another. It's idleness, pure and simple.

Not getting up in the morning with his children and them having to sort their own breakfast at such a young age and ignoring them when they come in does a lazy cunt make.

Urgh I’d find that so unattractive- lazy plus shit with his kids

I think they are old enough to play by themselves. Me and my younger brother and sister often would if mum wasn't up. Play with toys, use imagination, or just watch some TV, play playstation, make a den.

@SpaceBethSmith exactly. Higher your standards OP