AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?

[christyt114]

DH says I am.

DD (12) (but looks about 14) has these shorts which I got for her to exercise in but she says they're comfortable and likes them so wears them out and about.

Yesterday she wore them with a short top when she walked to meet her friend. They got a Costa then walked back to ours.

DH said she was "asking for trouble" because she was wearing the shorts and wants me to tell her she can't wear them out and about.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

(She made it home safely by the way).

Who's BU?

And I stand by what I said - there ARE perverts and very dangerous men/people out there - and their actions MIGHT be triggered by the sight of girls dressed in this way. Not meant as victim-blaming, but having a bigger view than just "ah no, it's body-shaming, be free to wear whatever etc etc....."; that is just not the way the world is.

There are some perverts triggered by kids in school uniform. Or wearing by little cute dresses and ribbons in their hair.

I don’t hear anyone calling for the wearing of those things to be curtailed because perverts might be “triggered”.

@dementedpixie

Obviously not in Scotland then! She would have frozen her tits off wearing that outfit yesterday

🙊🤣

however I had a DD who looked older and I knew that she'd struggle with unwanted attention from lads who thought that she was older.
I'm pretty sure that the attention would not be unwanted.

@Peanutsandchilli

Yet again, on Mumsnet, the man is the dickhead because 'women should be able to wear what they want'.

Give him a break! He's right. He wants to protect his pre teen daughter from being sexualised by other men. Perfectly acceptable for a dad to want to be protective.

They look like pants. Inappropriate for a 12 year old to go out in. I wouldn't let her.

Totally agree The man is the Dickhead. Not for being concerned about his child but because she would be “asking for” trouble

I've seen lots of teens in those tiny denim butt cheek shorts walking about & pray they aren't going to need to bend over, so the sport shorts seem much better coverage. When they all wear similar fashion uniform it doesn't become as noticeable to me at least.

Pervy guys will leer whatever, when I was a teen baggy clothes were in fashion but it frequently happened while in school uniform so couldn't even use, they thought you were older excuse.

@choli

however I had a DD who looked older and I knew that she'd struggle with unwanted attention from lads who thought that she was older. I'm pretty sure that the attention would not be unwanted.

Yes, she was totally asking for it FFS what is wrong with some people on here?

Also, like it or not, wearing tiny booty shorts and a crop top will attract attention. A 12 year old is not always going to be able to handle herself if/when it happens.

Even if you think in a perfect world it wouldn’t be like that, it IS like that currently and it’s likely to cause her problems dressing like that

Don't be ridiculous what benefit does looking hot bring to a woman other than attention? Which is absolutely find and good if that's what she wants, but don't try and pretend that in some circumstances women aren't out to attract male attention. Of course they are, it's what nature intended for a start.

So you're saying if a woman wants to go out wearing f*ck me heels then she desreves to be ogled by a load of porn-addled men?

@Bretoony even if she doesn’t deserve it, that’s the reality of what happens. Why send your 12 year old child into the world dressed in a way that will cause problems that she doesn’t have the tools to circumnavigate or deal with

Her outfit is common pre and early teen normal wear in my area on hot days.
I think its great that she is body confident and feels comfortable to wear clothes like this. I couldn't when I was her age.
Why do you have to be the messenger for his disapproval?

Your DH is bang out of order. What a repugnant thing to say!

The shorts are fine. DD and her pals all wear this sort of stuff, they are comfortable and currently fashionable. Anyone ogling a 12 year old is the problem, not activewear chosen by a child.

They are very inappropriate I'd prefer not see them on anyone.
Are they also the fashion for young boys? Wonder why not...

They are very inappropriate I'd prefer not see them on anyone.

I have a similar pair. What exactly do you consider inappropriate about them?

If it was extra short denim cut offs and a tie front top no one would bat an eyelid. They are more ‘modest’ than many shorts (no bum cheek showing)and I, aged 77, see nothing wrong with the outfit.

The difference is that an adult woman is an adult, not a child.

Of course it's the ogling men that are at fault but a 12yr old doesn't have the knowledge, skills and general wherewithal to navigate dealing with that sort of attention.

They look like underwear. No one needs to see all your flesh hanging out in Costa. Doesn't matter what age you are.
Are the men walking around your town on a rainy summer day in budgie smugglers and a crop top. If not why not.

I can't believe her father said she was 'asking for trouble." Ugh. He needs some education.

YANBU to let her wear these shorts. Your DH needs to look at his own attitude! Your daughters shorts are not the problem it your DH's idea that a pair of shorts would mean a man couldn't control his own actions...my DD (13) has these shorts and never takes them off she loves them, she often wears them with a long Tshirt or hoodie, but I've not once questioned her wearing them.

@newnortherner111

I don't want to see people wondering around in exercise gear who are not exercising. I'm concerned that 'comfortable' leads to not caring about weight, and most of those in 'athleisure' wear are those doing little exercise and in denial about this. The OPs DD may be an exception.

So no I don't think it's appropriate, but not just so for 12 year olds.

who, apart from you, cares what you want?

@Tuscancat

They look like underwear. No one needs to see all your flesh hanging out in Costa. Doesn't matter what age you are. Are the men walking around your town on a rainy summer day in budgie smugglers and a crop top. If not why not.

Wearing shorts means having flesh hanging out? Legs are offensive to people?

This is news to me.

Man, this thread is depressing.

@Tuscancat

They look like underwear. No one needs to see all your flesh hanging out in Costa. Doesn't matter what age you are. Are the men walking around your town on a rainy summer day in budgie smugglers and a crop top. If not why not.

Men round here walk around with no tops at all as soon as the weather hits around a sunny 16c

Are the men walking around your town on a rainy summer day in budgie smugglers and a crop top. If not why not.

I often see men topless in shorts on a hot day.

I really do wonder when we as a society are going to stop placing blame on females for what they wear.... Rather than the males who could simply not be raging fucking pervs 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't want to see people wondering around in exercise gear who are not exercising. I'm concerned that 'comfortable' leads to not caring about weight, and most of those in 'athleisure' wear are those doing little exercise and in denial about this.

The BS spouted on here sometimes. It's wandering, btw.