To say yes, I am a part of this village?

[draghimtothemits]

I recently joined the local village FB group having recently moved here.

I asked a question about what local hospital people generally used since it isn't clear which one is the local one.

A few responses there, then a woman asked 'where are you then dear'. I explained I was in one of the new build houses at the back.

The responses are out there! 6 different people falling over themselves to say I'm NOT a part of the village.

One comment said 'that's not x village, that's the outskirts'

I said my address is this very village. He replied 'no, that simply isn't possible'

Another response said 'you're not one of us! You should be banned'. Granted, that comment for a few laughing face reactions, but not a soul has come on to say that yes, I am a part of the village.

AIBU to think I am a part of the village?!

They're just a very vocal minority, doubt many people actually get on with the FB warrior types, most village-y stuff happens in person and is just a matter of getting on with people. Ignore them, they like feeling big and proud of their villagyness.

OP, shag your brother and burn some strangers, then you’ll fit right in.

I remember someone telling me l wasn't entitled to an opinion because l wasn't born around here and l should get my head out of my own arse which is quite clearly where it was because l was born in....London, of course. All l said was l would use a different doctor because the one in the village is well known for being pretty awful and has nearly killed a couple of people- me included- with his dismissive attitude - it's not an exaggeration....

@C8H10N4O2

Well they would be better catered for there don’t you think? Mental health facilities, actual police officers etc And yes, villages do produce the odd undesirable but not in the quantity that gets dumped into a small economically deprived village all at the same time just so the council can say that they’ve met their obligations

Firstly - nice assumption that people in supported living environments automatically need police keeping an eye on them and mental health services.

Secondly - what on earth makes you think these services are any more available in towns and cities?

As PP said - pure NIMBYism.

One of my siblings married into this kind of community. Forever bleating about house prices and lack of opportunity for their kids whilst vigorously lobbying against every development plan (unless its from one of two local families who only ever convert buildings to holiday lets). Even an extension to the doctor's surgery was deemed unacceptable because apparently expanding local services increases the risk of development. You couldn't make it up. Plenty of casual racism on the FB local group too.

Its a beautiful place on the outside but a serious Little Britain mindset inside.

I’m not talking about supported living, I said halfway house. You know what one of those is, right? They’re a completely different kettle of fish to supported living and trust me, you don’t want to live near one, let alone 2 of them.

Facebook is the problem here. People post things that they wouldn’t say to your face. Walk your dog and chat to people or in the village shop, get involved in community projects without saying that you come from the ‘dark side’. I’m sure you will soon break the ice and be accepted. If not, it’s their loss. As a previous contributor posted, some villagers find it hard to accept that their villages cannot be preserved in aspic, but many of them were newcomers at some point.

@Mn753

Say you identify as a villager and to question it is hate speech

😂😂😂

I’ve lived in my village for 36 years and am not considered a local. My kids are, as they were brought up and went to school here. Though none of them has lived here for years!

I honestly can’t be arsed with village activities (bingo teas, keep fit, bowling club, yoga classes), not my kind of thing. So even after all this time I hardly know anyone apart from close neighbours.

But everyone knows who I am … or at least who my kids are. Many times people have said, oh, you’re A’s mum or R’s mum, which used to creep me out slightly.

I reckon the house you’re in is on land that was the subject of a planning dispute. The locals didn’t want any more houses, but the Council went ahead anyway.

This scenario has played out 5 times in my village since I moved here. It always gets sorted out, and they find someone else (probably someone with a shitty dog or problematic bin etiquette).

I wish you luck and swift integration.

Give me city life any day!

Oh god get used to it. Some people will always hate the new developments sometimes with some justification but often with none. Just give it a few years until the next development becomes a focus. My aunt goes crazy about any building work, conveniently forgetting that her 1970s bungalow hasn’t been there since the doomsday book and was probably reviled in exactly the same way when it was built. Local Facebook sites are purely for amusement, and weeding out the local weirdos before you have to associate with them in person.

Don't these idiots realise that once upon a time their own houses were 'new developments'.
Live your life and ignore the idiots.
Join in what you want, of don't.
Don't let a bunch of strangers try and steer your life.

I've lived in cities, towns and villages. They are idiots everywhere - but somehow an idiot can be worse in a small environment like a village. They'd be ignored in a city

Or not of

Have you asked them where they think you live. I can't imagine getting post addressed to the new builds over the back that the locals didn't want and not to mistake it for " " village.

The one thing I've not understood is the amount of development in some villages - particularly 'affordable housing' when it's often so far away from employment centres and where bus routes are inadequate or barely there. I lived one place where they built some affordable homes and elderly people bungalows. Some occupants were effectively stranded from getting to the shops or work. There was an infants school but no primary or secondary school with buses to take the children. It made no sense at all. It was less of a problem for the elderly unless they fell ill, but a real struggle for the young families. A nice countryside environment with just a church and a pub wasn't enough for young working families. Two cars became essential rather than luxuries.

The other side - in one village I lived in, we bought a new build on a small development. We made our own groups, set up several new ones in the village and contributed hugely to volunteering roles. The 'old' village dwellers asked to join us and said what a difference we made to village life - we ended up with a waiting list for some of our groups! This, even from some who were displaying 'no new housing' signs in their windows 😂

It has always been like this in villages.

‘New comers coming here with their town ways’
‘Not born here and allowed an opinion’
It’s just how villages are.

😂😂😂 do you live in the same village as my in laws? The FB page is a plethora of snobby about the ‘new houses’ and ‘interlopers’ I married in so I’m grand 😬

Ugh I hate village life
I live in a village on the outskirts but one of the older houses. I never get involved in village life and I didn’t send my kids to the village school for this reason
Please don’t volunteer your time etc trying to fit in there. Enjoy your home and do your own thing

Nope. You are a blow-in, destined to forever be eyed with suspicion. I wouldn't go out of my way to integrate, it'd be a waste of effort. Get on with your life there, knowing that you are just as entitled to enjoy village life as anyone else living there but also knowing that to the locals, you are absolutely not as entitled to enjoy village life as anyone else living there.
All those 'local village' Royston Vasey/Wicker Man vibes make me glad I now live in a city. Mind you, on my village-vibe road you can't do anything without someone knowing about it. Go for a pint - 'ach disconnected, I heard you farted last night'

Lol, sadly this type of thing seems to be typical...I think this is a tad extreme. On our online village page folks are keen to point out that they've been here forever but don't really slag off the new build. Ultimately you're certain to be under the same parish council which is the clincher really. Go and get yourself a seat on it 😜. TBF, there's always a minority like this everywhere. But yes you're part of the village (whether you want to be, is another matter!)

Ha Ha!
Or you could identify as the village itself

Gosh have you moved to Royston Vasey?

@Mn753

Lines and lines and lines

[quote Sooooofar]@draghimtothemits offer to go protect the ducks from speeding cars, you'll be a villager then 😁[/quote]
This

Say the village is Ponceyton, I'd start referring to your bit as Poncyton Superior.

We've recently bought a house in a new build development in a village and the attitudes are very similar. Until the people from 'the village proper' want to come and use the facilities on the development that is.

@Mn753

Lines and lines and lines

This is a local shop for local people, there's nothing for you here!