Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say yes, I am a part of this village?

279 replies

draghimtothemits · 15/08/2021 07:33

I recently joined the local village FB group having recently moved here.

I asked a question about what local hospital people generally used since it isn't clear which one is the local one.

A few responses there, then a woman asked 'where are you then dear'. I explained I was in one of the new build houses at the back.

The responses are out there! 6 different people falling over themselves to say I'm NOT a part of the village.

One comment said 'that's not x village, that's the outskirts'

I said my address is this very village. He replied 'no, that simply isn't possible' Confused

Another response said 'you're not one of us! You should be banned'. Granted, that comment for a few laughing face reactions, but not a soul has come on to say that yes, I am a part of the village.

AIBU to think I am a part of the village?!

OP posts:
Babymamamama · 15/08/2021 10:03

Next time you need local info OP just use Google. These people sound awful. Leave them to it.

Disneycharacter · 15/08/2021 10:03

@MoreRainThanAnyYet

Make a few comments about dog poo. They’ll soon take you to their hearts.
Haha! Every other post is bout dog poo and litter.
C8H10N4O2 · 15/08/2021 10:04

[East European] It doesn't have to be a negative observation (although it probably is in this context), if you saw a group of American college students or Scandinavians wouldn't you know straight away by looking at them what part of the world they come from?

No its racism. In rural Brexit Britain East European is wholly negative as a descriptor in that context.

Re organised lobbying against individual planning applications:

Planning applications have been posted in my local grourp many times, a planning application is a public document for the very purpose of people to comment on it. Facebook is a good way to let people know about local developments but it's still the local councillors who decide. A valid objection is a valid objection however it comes about

Again, not what the poster was describing. You can't whine about lack of opportunities and housing for young people and FB approved locals whilst pulling the full NIMBY routine at every development proposal. Lobby for extensions of services as part of larger applications, use them to increase the case around transport but communities that shut out new joiners die over time.

OP: Don't waste your time on FB groups full of bottom feeders who can't look up from dog poo and casual racism.

In Beds you might find a relevant regional parents group for your son's condition which would be more helpful and less stuck up their own arses.

GintyMcGinty · 15/08/2021 10:05

Unfortunately you get morons like this everyone.

Our new build estate took about 15 years to be regarded as part of the town and even now there are still eejit comments on the comments section of the local newspaper about incomers.

However this sort of behaviour has only ever been online in my experience. Most people would never be so rude if they were face to face with you. They need the protection of their keyboards.

Lorw · 15/08/2021 10:06

I moved from a busy city to a very rural tiny village, I’ve been welcomed into the village gladly and we go down to the village pub and make friends with locals etc. Been here 2 years and pretty much fully immersed and like getting involved in village life. However there is a new build development being built with loads of family homes which was heavily petitioned against as the village doesn’t have the resources (only a tiny school and the nearest one after that is 15 miles away and that’s only small for example) I know locals are extremely unhappy about it and voice this so god knows how they will treat them once these families have moved in. I find it sad but can understand that these developments are built without any thought on how it will impact on existing residents. Still I wouldn’t worry about getting involved in village politics and FB pages 😁 best way.

merrymouse · 15/08/2021 10:10

I don’t visit my local village Facebook group often, but when I have (during lockdown) it has had a certain ‘tone’. However I think that’s created by a small number of users.

In contrast my street WhatsApp group is lovely and welcomes everyone whether they were born in their house 90 years ago or just moved in.

The FB page may just represent the regular users.

Letters to local newspapers also often represent a few people with an axe to grind.

MyMummyHasGotABigBottom · 15/08/2021 10:14

@Mn753

Lines and lines and lines
😂😂😂
ohthestruggles · 15/08/2021 10:14

@caughtinanet it's quite horrible to encourage people to oppose it I feel and to be nasty about the plans. If they want to oppose it fair enough but they don't need to make it personal. They also said 'it was so unfair!' Because it was in the paper and not everyone buys a newspaper and the closing date for rejections had passed therefore they were encouraging people to write to local councillors. IMO if they are so interested in the plans for the village they should really stay on top of it.

newnortherner111 · 15/08/2021 10:16

Yes you are a part of the village, saddened to read you've moved to a place with a few people who are not worth wasting your breath with, hope others are nicer.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 15/08/2021 10:19

Have you moved to Ambridge OP?

If so I'd recommend entering something for the flower and produce show. Maybe a cake, the competition shouldn't be too stuff this year as Jennifer has her hands full with other things but don't make it too good, you'll never be forgiven if you beat Jill Archer.

AddressLabel · 15/08/2021 10:19

I think it’s a toss up with villages. I’ve been here nearly 20 years and I’m accepted but I went out of my way to take part in village life and have had part time jobs in the local shop and pub.
We’ve had new builds here and people have generally been fine with them as they’ve gone to the younger villagers or local people from other villages. There’s current opposition to some flats being built though because of the location and the fact they will attract “wasters”. Another building near the outskirts of the village was converted to flats and the council said they wouldn’t do what they did - use it as a halfway house. It has caused all sorts of anti social behaviour and trouble. So people are up in arms with this as they don’t trust the council not to dump their undesirables on us. It can have a huge negative impact on villages where there’s only 1 PCSO from several miles away whereas in cities they’d probably just “blend in” and have the resources to deal with them.

MrsMaizel · 15/08/2021 10:23

I didn't realise so many people lived in MY village 😂 We have the same - we are in an area that the "real villagers" contested and they literally blame us for everything that goes wrong - dog poo , litter , parking , a new coffee shop and on and on . The fact is that this village was a pretty down on its heels place and the new houses have actually raised the profile . A "real villager" was complaining that services are going to be stretched was told by a local parish councillor that in fact the new people pay and add to the coffers enabling new and better facilities . I do believe there is a lot of jealousy involved too . It is sad to see such bitterness and it is one of the reasons we will not stay here.

Knittedfairies · 15/08/2021 10:29

There are a couple of housing developments on the edges of our village; one of the most vociferous opponents at a consultation meeting was a resident who lives in what was a new development a few years ago.

annacondom · 15/08/2021 10:34

@MoreRainThanAnyYet

Make a few comments about dog poo. They’ll soon take you to their hearts.
Absolutely. Also about potholes, and drivers racing through not sticking to the speed limit. We had the same problem at first, about being judged on which part of the village we lived. One guy told me to my face that my (3-bed, detached) bungalow is a 'beginner's' house for here. People can be so rude and judgemental. But there are bound to be nice people in your village too.
LitPearl · 15/08/2021 10:35

If somebody tells you that you're not in the village just say ''ok''.
Your house won't move because they don't believe you're in the village! They sound tedious though.

lastcall · 15/08/2021 10:38

@Dragon50

I’m a city dweller so no skin in this game, but it must be hard for people with limited services seeing how they will be stretched further.
Please. The addition of a couple of large housing estates in our village (on old farm land) improved the services and facilities (like rec ground, playgrounds, etc) and village primary school immensely. The new homes all pay rather high band rates towards parish council tax rates which allowed for more money being spent on services, and the school went from special measures to good once the new children swung the balance over to having parents that gave a shit about education.
LitPearl · 15/08/2021 10:41

@TheRabbitStoleMyHat

I live in a town and our fb page is quite entertaining. ‘Anyone know why a helicopter just flew past’ and ‘Is this cat lost?’ With picture of cat in someone’s garden, feature regularly. Because all cats are lost.
The comment about posting about dog poo made me laugh. Village groups are the same the world over. My parents lived where I live now before I was born but because I don't have the local accent I'm not a real local...

Don't forget to post a picture of the sunsetting,ooooh wins over a lot of doubters, with the silhouette of a dog pooing over it, ET style.

I'm always amazed by the people who have time to drive around trying to get dogs and cats back to their homes. How do they even know that the dog isn't 200 metres from its home, just only its daily lap Confused

I think 'get. a. life' when I see those posts, some very healthy labrador just out for a 100 metre stroll adn its bundled in to the back of some range rover and has its photo put up on a village fb group before it can wag its tail. unbelievable. I scroll through these posts from work wondering how people find the time.

SamVimes6 · 15/08/2021 10:42

I raised my family in a village. If you didn’t have 7 generations of your name buried in the local cemetery you were not local.

Welcome to village life.

LitPearl · 15/08/2021 10:43

ha ha this is true.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 15/08/2021 10:43

we have new builds opposite us, further new builds over what used to be fields down the road, and new builds where i used to blackberry pick
tbh 20 years ago where i live was a new build.

i dont blame the incomers for buying the property and tbh i am not impressed by the nimbys who currently live smack right next to the new builds that used to be fields

Megan2018 · 15/08/2021 10:47

That’s just village life. We moved from an established house in the village to a new build in the village and some people were even funny with us then. We’d moved just down the lane.
It takes 30 years to be considered “one if them”, the inlaws have just managed it where they are.

Antwerpen · 15/08/2021 10:48

Ah OP so you’re an ‘incomer’ (said in a Pirate like voice) Grin

MumofSpud · 15/08/2021 10:49

A local FB site for local people!!Grin
I am a member of a local FB group and there will be posters who are also told to leave as they have moved away but still like to keep some sort of link to the area.

There was a recent post on my group informing us that someone from the area had moved to Australia years ago but had then died.
People posted saying that this news shouldn't have been shared as he had chosen to move away.
But the thread then moved to others remembering him and sharing anecdotes about him, which was nice!

PluggingAway · 15/08/2021 10:50

Community Facebook groups often have a few vocal arseholes. The majority of the people in the village are probably perfectly normal and friendly. I wouldn't worry about it.

Wtfdidwedo · 15/08/2021 10:50

This thread has really broadened my horizons, I can't believe anyone gives a shit what's regarded as "part" of a village or not. I live in the Welsh valleys and always have done, I've never heard of anyone drawing lines around different parts, it's certainly not common here!