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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?

520 replies

shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 00:44

When I ask DD (nearly 9) to get dressed she often comes down in just leggings and a t-shirt, tucked in.

She looks undressed to me.

A t-shirt and leggings are fine for sport, or bed, or for toddlers IMO. Or a long tshirt over leggings is fine too.

But she likes to wear her T-shirt tucked in (which looks lumpy!) She just looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed like that, AIBU?

And AIBU to ask her to put another layer over the leggings? e.g. a skirt or pinafore dress or shorts?

I know it's only a small thing in the scheme of things and I'm inclined to let her get her way if we're just going to the park for a play or something. But I'm curious how others see it?

OP posts:
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27
riotlady · 15/08/2021 07:09

I used to dress exactly like that as 9, looked awful but I was definitely dressed! For me it was related to sensory issues- couldn’t stand the feeling of a waistband so had to tuck everything in, only wore soft leggings abs t shirts with the label cut out

NerrSnerr · 15/08/2021 07:12

Don't you care about the state of the streets and people's sloppy dressing? If men dressed the way loads of women do they'd be arrested under the obscenity laws.
Teach her some self-respect.

What the bloody hell are you on about? This is probably similar to what she is wearing. Leggings are not underwear, they're just a different type of trousers. Many men wear very tight trousers, similar to leggings nowadays (ultra trendy young folk!)

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
NerrSnerr · 15/08/2021 07:14

@GreatAuntEmily the child is 8. Are you saying that a pair of leggings and t shirt is unflattering on an 8 year old?

Apeirogon · 15/08/2021 07:14

It's the summer holidays - just be glad she's out of her pyjamas!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/08/2021 07:15

Buy thicker leggings.

My DDs leggings are definitely not underwear. They are really practical clothing for active children. Better than the thin shorts that barely cover their bums for example. I wish t-shirts were longer though. Some barely reach the hem of trousers.

Bunnycat101 · 15/08/2021 07:15

I’m
Sure it’s fine but it did make me wonder when the cut-off is between
Child- leggings and t-shirt is fine
Adult- leggings and t shirt probably not fine unless sports leggings

‘Tbh I always feel a bit sorry for wee girls who have leggings on under skirts or dresses, two lots of waistbands must be uncomfortable and makes me think the parents are very prudish’

Er this is weird. Both of mine often wear leggings under skirts or dresses because they’re easier for them than tights.

Oneborneverydecade · 15/08/2021 07:17

I voted YANBU because I think leggings look better with a longer top worn outside (or a crop top for teens +) I don't think a short t-shirt tucked in looks indecent at all, just a bit scruffy.

newnortherner111 · 15/08/2021 07:24

@NerrSnerr that is probably not want the OP refers to, which just looks tacky and awful.

I'm with the OP, just hoping that if a son had his trousers such that his underwear was visible, a similar reaction would follow. Pride in appearance does not cost a lot of money, and I am concerned that 'comfortable' clothing just helps many people hide being overweight or obese, instead of recognising the issue instead and attempting to deal with it.

DeathMetalMum · 15/08/2021 07:27

It's fine, it's what most kids wear every day. Hmm.

Mine (10&8) live in leggings and t-shirts. Occasionally a dress with or without tights if they choose, but never forced on them. Thry don't like jeans at all. I may insist on a 'nice' top and plain leggings if we are going out somewhere special but I certainly don't force them to wear a dress unless they want.

DeathStare · 15/08/2021 07:29

Leggings are NOT underwear. How do we know this?
They aren't found in the "underwear" section of shops
Specialist underwear manufacturers don't make them (unless they also make an outerwear range)
The vast majority of women wear knickers under leggings (Ok some may go commando but they are the minority, and some go commando in jeans, dresses, etc)
There is no gusset in them and they usually have a seam going across the crotch area.
Nobody has invented a sanitary towel that can be applied directly to leggings (and if they were underwear then some manufacturer would capitalise on this)

Those who are claiming they shouldn't be worn as outerwear need to take a long hard look at themselves - this defies any logic whatsoever and is just a ridiculous argument to try to (yet again) police women's bodies and what women wear. Some might say that it's because you can see every line through (some) leggings or because (some) leggings can go (slightly) see through. The same is true of many fitted dresses or fitted tops - in fact many skirts/dresses/tops/trousers - now have transparent, mesh or cut out panels. So being skintight or transparent in places clearly doesn't define what is underwear and what is not. If you, personally, don't like transparency or tightness, that's your prerogative but it doesn't make something underwear.

If they aren't your personal style taste, fine, that's your call. But expecting other women or girls to dress to your personal taste is really narcissistic. Personally I hate clothes that are orange and one of my closest friends detest animal prints. We own that and don't wear those things ourselves. We don't make pronouncements that no other women should wear it or make up some stupid illogical argument that really orange or animal print is just for underwear.

DeathMetalMum · 15/08/2021 07:30

I'm talking about leggings like in the post from @NerrSnerr . Kids leggings are not like the adults ones that go see through.

Itstheprinciple · 15/08/2021 07:31

@Gemma2019

There was a drama on the other day called I am Victoria where the mum insisted her daughters couldn't leave the house in leggings and a t-shirt but had to get properly dressed.

I'm not a lover of tops tucked into leggings but I definitely wouldn't be dying on that hill.

I immediately thought of I Am Victoria too.
Toooldforthis321 · 15/08/2021 07:32

My DD is nearly 9 and this is her go to outfit. She likes to be comfortable and leggings and t-shirt are very practical.

Notagardener · 15/08/2021 07:32

I remember having this discussion with someone from the continent. The funny thing I found was that she thought wearing really short shorts was fine and considered fully dressed.
I mentioned she is from the continent as when I asked some others from that same country, they all agreed with her...

GreatAuntEmily · 15/08/2021 07:32

Funny it hasn't caught on with men - leggings and a codpiece - with baggy t shirt.

Peace43 · 15/08/2021 07:33

That’s my 10 year old DDs go to.. leggings and a t-shirt. She tends to wear a fitted t-shirt not baggy so no tucking in. She’d die laughing if I suggested she put a pinafore on…. She’s not jemima puddle-duck!

Parker231 · 15/08/2021 07:34

Where are you buying your leggings which are see through? None of mine are and they are from a range of different companies.

As leggings are obviously so offensive I’d better wear shorts today - are they ok or like leggings, should I be covering up?

Ducksurprise · 15/08/2021 07:34

I agree with those that say thick/good quality leggings are fine.

Those that scoff at being able to see 'every nook and cranny' yes we are talking about children but are you really comfortable with everything being on display. I would not let my son out wearing clothing that showed the outline of his genitals nor would I let my daughter. I also agree with those that say girls clothes are cut to be more revealing than boys and it is wrong.

Antsinyourpanta · 15/08/2021 07:38

I was laughing the other day that we went away for a couple of days with DS (11) I took sports kit(to go for a run) clothes I would go to a park/activity/go shopping etc in and "nicer" clothes for going out for a meal. DS wore (the same) sports tshirt and shorts for all of the above. Whenever we said "are you ready to go to...." the answer would be yes. (He did assure me he changed his underwear!)

Toooldforthis321 · 15/08/2021 07:40

I'm mildly amused at the notion of training my 8 year old to look respectable on the streets. She does, in leggings and a t-shirt. The other day she spilt some ice-cream on her t-shirt. Should I have taken her home immediately to change.
Honestly, let them be children. There's enough time in life to be worrying about looking respectable.

marble11 · 15/08/2021 07:43

@Parker231

Well I’m obviously doing everything wrong. I live in leggings and a T-shirt. Not see through as I buy good quality leggings and I don’t tuck my T-shirt in! If it’s hot it’s shorts and T-shirt. I am late 40’s. What am I meant to be wearing?
According to the old fuddy duddy above who is talking about obscenity laws so clearly lives in Saudi you need to 'layer' 🤣🤣
Lalliella · 15/08/2021 07:47

You’re right OP, she should be wearing dresses below her knee, tights and a cardigan. That would be respectable. Umm no, are you actually serious? Her body, her clothes, her choice. Unless going to an event requiring some sort of dress code obvs.

My DS often hangs round the house in just his pants. I don’t care. His choice.

StrangeToSee · 15/08/2021 07:47

As she’s approaching puberty I’d say she needs to wear a long T-shirt or tunic top over her leggings, unless they’re thick leggings with pockets (treggings/jeggings?)

I think of leggings as underwear eg to wear under a dress or tunic, or sleepwear.

Even my 6 year old wears a longline T-shirt over leggings.

KurtWilde · 15/08/2021 07:48

You can't be serious, surely? Some weeks that's all I wear day in day out, same for my DDs! Are we not dressed then? Confused

CareerInspirationRequired · 15/08/2021 07:49

@GreatAuntEmily

Funny it hasn't caught on with men - leggings and a codpiece - with baggy t shirt.
Neither have, skirts, dresses, high heels or the style of swimsuits women wear. I don't think that makes any difference Confused