AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?

[shesellsseacats]

When I ask DD (nearly 9) to get dressed she often comes down in just leggings and a t-shirt, tucked in.

She looks undressed to me.

A t-shirt and leggings are fine for sport, or bed, or for toddlers IMO. Or a long tshirt over leggings is fine too.

But she likes to wear her T-shirt tucked in (which looks lumpy!) She just looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed like that, AIBU?

And AIBU to ask her to put another layer over the leggings? e.g. a skirt or pinafore dress or shorts?

I know it's only a small thing in the scheme of things and I'm inclined to let her get her way if we're just going to the park for a play or something. But I'm curious how others see it?

Someone with just leggings and a t-shirt

A tucked in t-shirt I mean, like in the first picture above, and like DD wears them.

@shesellsseacats

It's been an interesting thread.

I think it's clear that for some of us, leggings fall into a similar category to tights, to others they're more like trousers.

It's not to do with the transparancy, for me at least, it's to do with how my mind interprets them based on the cultural significance that I've (somehow) associated with them.

Someone with just leggings and a t-shirt looks like they've forgotten to get dressed to me in the same way as if these women in just tights walked into work like this I'd assume they lost a layer somewhere!

The first two pictures are kinda what I see when I see someone with leggings and a t-shirt.

(Ignoring the ridiculous poses they get women to do, that's a whole other thread!)

But, what I'm getting from this thread is that most other people see them as more similar to skinny trousers, like the 3rd picture.

It's interesting how people (myself included) can see such similar outfits in such different ways, due to social conditioning (I guess?).

Great reply OP. But I do still think that people need to look a bit further over the end of their noses and consider the nature of fashion over the years. There were times not so long ago when the things we currently wear as dresses would have been considered undergarments, and people would have thought you might as well have been naked. There are lots of examples like that. Things change. That is just the nature of clothes, it's naive to think they will always be worn in the way they were when you first saw them.

Hummmm... If you buy the cheap leggings that aren't really there and you can see everything through, I would invest in much better quality.

But don't conform your child to be part of a society that think's it better to change who you are before accepting yourself.

Yes if you off to church on Sunday, a lovely dress, or jeans and a respective T-shirt otherwise run free.

This seems to be the norm for little girls now, and I think it's great. Easy, comfy, practical, what's not to like? Leggings are the new trousers. You'll wish for this level of practicality when she is going out for the evening in a miniskirt, crop top and stilettos in a February sleet storm some day.

Leggings & a tshirt (or shirt) is practically the only outfit my DD (9) and I (40-something) ever wear 😂

YABU. It's fully dressed. This is what most of the girls round our way wear. DD 13 favours jeans, leggings are too feminine.

It depends on the type of leggings as others said- some are basically skinny trousers, some go sheer and aren't really suitable on their own.

With my kids at that age, the rule was if I can see your underwear while walking - including underwear lines - you need more to go out (though more often in my house, the more has been a belt - way more issue with that than leggings). I have had to do with one of my DS's shorts which was relegated to sleepwear after it became clear that only the most exhibitionist of lads could be comfortable wearing them out (joys of ordering online). I still see them as fully dressed in the house though, going out just takes more and to me it felt like I needed to be fair on both types of underwear visibility.

As they get older, it becomes more individual comfort level - one of my DDs is only wearing tracksuit bottoms at the moment because that's her style and comfort level (that's been her thing for years now- she wears them with everything including dresses when she has the chance - currently struggling to find new ones that fit her criteria), another is very picky on leggings - only wants the thick dark kind, and has a few long, thick but lightweight enough for this weather jumpers she has to go with certain shirts or sundresses.

I think the 3 pictures the OP provided are a very good example of how differently the same thing can be viewed.
Leggings are absolutely the exact same as skinny trousers to me and to my DDs.We live in them and it has never crossed my mind to view them in “ a modesty context”.
This thread actually got me googling leggings and I now realise that they are the subject of controversy in Christian circles, especially in the US.
Apparently having the shape of your bottom visible is deemed to result in lustful thoughts in men and boys.
I must have missed the whole rule book on mortifying female anatomy.
I am completely intrigued by this and am left wondering, how many body parts girls and women have to conceal to be “respectable “?
Would full invisibility be enough?
How many and women and girls have taken on this job of protecting men and boys from being helpless victims of their hormones?
How feelings of shame around appearance can be very subtlety passed from Mums to daughters.
How powerful and internalised this shame can be.
It need never be explicitly explained, just conveyed in terms like “under dressed” or “dressed like that”.
I cannot imagine that as an adult woman in a free country, you would ever have to feel that you ought to wear something over your leggings.
That’s 3 layers of clothes on your bottom! Before you put a coat on!
I only situation, in which I could ever see myself doing this is, if I developed incontinence and needed to wear bulky absorbent pants.

Huge difference in thick loose fitting leggings that look more like slimline trousers, and semi-transparent leggings that reveal undies and other things to the world.

I do think people should look in a well lit mirror before they go out (back and front) and consider wearing a long top or tunic over thin leggings to avoid the ‘forgotten to get dressed’ look. The leggings may look fine in a dark room but many become transparent in daylight!

I also think it’s a mother’s duty to guide her daughter towards clothing choices that protect her dignity (and don’t make the poor girl cringe when she sees old photos later on).

I think OP’s done the right thing by ordering more modest, dignified styles of summer trousers (which are just as light and airy as leggings).

I wouldn't like it, tbh, even at that age. I'd encourage her to wear a longer top (tunic style) or a skirt on top. Otherwise, I think I'd find that certain items of clothing would get "lost" in the wash, and I wouldn't hurry to buy replacements for them. Saves having to discuss it.

@Frodogo

I wouldn't like it, tbh, even at that age. I'd encourage her to wear a longer top (tunic style) or a skirt on top. Otherwise, I think I'd find that certain items of clothing would get "lost" in the wash, and I wouldn't hurry to buy replacements for them. Saves having to discuss it.

Why a longer top, tunic or skirt?

I don’t when I’m wearing leggings (most days whilst working from home or nipping out to the supermarket or for lunch). Neither does my daughter (22year old) or my mother (in her late 70’s).

I wear leggings and a T-shirt most days and I'd consider myself fully dressed 😂

I think you are bonkers OP, never mind unreasonable!

Wow you clearly don’t have much to worry about!!

I do think some clothes can actually look ruder than being naked.

I think OP’s done the right thing by ordering more modest, dignified styles of summer trousers (which are just as light and airy as leggings)

Please don't co-opt me into the modesty crew. It's not about modesty for me.

My DD is 8. If she wants to go to the park with just a skirt on and hang upside down pretending to be a monkey, but meaning the world can see her knickers, so be it. I'm not going to tell her not to, she's a child. (Actually, I don't think she would do this anymore, but she hasn't picked up that shame from me).

About the leggings - my mind associates leggings with underwear (similar to tights) and so it looks weird to me if they're worn with t-shirts tucked in. Exactly like this picture. It's got nothing to do with being revealing. I feel the same even with the most opaque tights.

I was interested in how other people saw it.

And it's clear that many people see leggings as no different to skinny trousers.

I find it interesting that the cultural associations attached to clothing can make us see it so differently.

I've bought DD some trousers that I know she'd class as leggings, just because I can, she loves them and I think she looks nice in them. Nothing to do with "modesty".

But as I said upthread, I've ALSO bought her some new leggings, and have decided not to try to gently encourage her out of wearing themeven thought it looks odd to me. We've got teenage years to come and I imagine she's going to wear much odder things than t-shirts tucked into leggings!

@Eilatan2018

Wow you clearly don’t have much to worry about!!

Give over.

Neither do you, if you're spending your time policing such a terribly inconsequential thread.

Surely you have better things to worry about, no?

Alcemeg

I do think some clothes can actually look ruder than being naked.“

How does a little girl look “rude”.

Seriously baffled by this comment.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Alcemeg

I do think some clothes can actually look ruder than being naked.“

How does a little girl look “rude”.

Seriously baffled by this comment.

Well I'm seriously baffled by the way some people treat kids. Unfortunately that's the world we live in.

It’s a complete outfit but I would probably untuck her!

If it’s just for playing around in them it’s more than sufficient. I struggle to het my girls to wear anything other than this tbh