AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?

[shesellsseacats]

When I ask DD (nearly 9) to get dressed she often comes down in just leggings and a t-shirt, tucked in.

She looks undressed to me.

A t-shirt and leggings are fine for sport, or bed, or for toddlers IMO. Or a long tshirt over leggings is fine too.

But she likes to wear her T-shirt tucked in (which looks lumpy!) She just looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed like that, AIBU?

And AIBU to ask her to put another layer over the leggings? e.g. a skirt or pinafore dress or shorts?

I know it's only a small thing in the scheme of things and I'm inclined to let her get her way if we're just going to the park for a play or something. But I'm curious how others see it?

WTF does she need to wear a long top because she's approaching puberty!!??

Because thin tight leggings with a tucked in top highlight every bulge, not to mention being semi transparent and showing the seams of knickers, panti-liners etc. They’re undignified on a girl her age and she’ll probably be mortified looking back at old photos.

Girls bodies change so much with puberty. Learning how to dress appropriately will give her confidence, and reduce the likelihood of bullying. As she develops curves leggings become increasingly inappropriate unless her T-shirt covers her bottom.

Many girls want to cover up a bit when they approach puberty and start feeling self conscious, but may not know how to dress modestly and may not notice how the leggings look, if the seams of her underwear are visible etc.

I think OP’s made the right choice in ordering soft stretchy treggings/trousers. That way her DD can still tuck her T-shirts in.

Thin semi-sheer leggings look like tights to me, I find it very odd people wear them in public. Maybe they look less sheer and tight when you look in the mirror as you’re not seeing yourself in full daylight or from behind?

Examples of casual leggings and top for normal every day wear and what my dd and I would consider dressy tshirt and leggings for days out.

@strangeToSee you have articulated this issue beautifully, encapsulated the points I couldn't get across in multiple posts, in one!

Just buy the right type of leggings. None of mine show my underwear . I wear them ( as does my 22 year old DD and 77 year old DM) with a T-shirt when it’s warmer (today) or with a hoodie in the colder weather. We all like fashionable clothes which suit us, are comfortable and practical for travelling, going out for lunch, shopping or just out walking through the park.
They are not the same as I wear for a gym class or out for a run where I want something with more stretch in the material.

Not a single pair of my DC's leggings are see through or sheer and many of them are £2 H&M or primark ones. They will realise how leggings look because nearly every other child will be wearing them. It's the fashion right now to wear them with a short or tucked in top, where do you think she got the idea in the first place so hardly going to be bullied for wearing the exact same thing as everyone else her age and older.

I detest leggings but, so long as they aren't stretched, or so thin a fabric, to the point of being revealing, I'd probably just let her have her choice and hope this kind of look will go out of fashion soon.

@liveforsummer

My 8 year old would laugh at the unicorn leggings also. You might get the odd 9 year old still wearing them but they won't last long. I think the leopard ones look like toddler wear. The blue flowers are nice but wouldn't be the taste of either of my DD's

Erm... I'm not buying them for your child though am I?

I'm just suggesting, along with others who know lots of 9 year olds, that she probably won't like them for long.

Well maybe, maybe not. I think I know DD a little better than you though.

As they're all summer wear and it's not going to be summer for much longer, I know my DD and they fit her taste right now it's an odd comment to make IMO, other than to have a go.

Sorry I didnt know people bought clothes, especially trousers only for summer. My dc have been in shorts all summer so not even using their leggings but if I was buying leggings/trousers at any point of the year I'd expect them to last a year or more not just a couple of weeks. Not trying to have a go at all, I have older Dd's and know how quickly their tastes change at that age especially when, as your Dd is, they start getting interested in fashion. She will likely notice when they go back to school and her peers Smiggle bags with cute animals have been replaced by hype etc. I also work in a primary school and don't see 9 year olds in unicorns. Obviously if you only need it to last a couple more weeks to the end of summer that's not a problem.

I grew up in the 90s and 00s and I remember it was always one of the above, we never wore leggings.

Leggings are one of the oldest human clothing styles. They've been found on preserved bodies thousands of years old. They are comfortable and practical so wearing them is not a new thing.

I think the key to accepting people looking "dressed" in leggings and a teeshirt is to accept that it does not matter if people look stylish or not. It is ok that they look very casual or similar to what you would wear in the gym.

People don't need to look smart or stylish if they don't want to. They just have to be sufficiently covered up, in clothing they find comfortable and that is reasonable for the weather.

This thread is one of the strangest I've read for ages. My almost 9 year old DD either wears leggings and a T-shirt or a trouser suit. I think she looks dressed in both outfits and she is also dressed comfortably and practically. All her friends seem to dress the same...

Sometimes I'm in the mood for getting scrubbed up, dressed immaculately, full face and hair etc other times I chuck on leggings and a top (always a long one) with trainers

Most of the time its somewhere between the two - nothing I wear on any given day means I am depressed, is a statement on my self respect or that don't give a monkeys about the community - whatever that means - its purely about what I feel like wearing at any given moment

I'm actually bemused anyone gives more than a passing through to what anyone else wears at any given time

"Leggings are one of the oldest human clothing styles. They've been found on preserved bodies thousands of years old."

Hear Hear

@FrankButchersDickieBow

Pick. Your. Battles.

This ^

And one last comment - so much of this thread demonstrates the problem at the root of our society (& I'm talking about England only here)... "I", "I", "I". Apparently no-one is looking at anyone else, cares enough about anyone else. So long as "I" am comfortable, who cares about the rest of the people I share my locale with?
Is it that I was brought up in a village, then moved to a liberal city, then a place of managed decline? I've travelled into the nooks & crannies of the UK, some of Europe, and further, with work.
Clothes send signals. There are regional differences that will see you easily marked as a stranger, & those variants weave their way through the usual tribal dress codes.
Our attire sends messages, even if you think you're just slinging on a pair of leggings & a top that doesn't pass the waistband "for ease", the outfit is communicating on your behalf.
I dressed my dd in stretchy colourful clothes she could happily scurf all day in. At nursery she wore dresses that were practical but she felt good in, with leggings underneath. No control issues.
It's not a need to be stylish as a pp asserted, it's called consideration of your environment.
This is another long comment.
I've oft said my belief that leggings should be classed as underwear is an unpopular opinion, but wow this thread has rammed home how little people care for their impact beyond their doorstep.
Once again, go with grace op!

T-Shirt and leggings is fine. T-shirt tucked into leggings looks weird, like tucking a top into thick tights. You see all the mounds from the fabric stuffed down the tighter fabric so doesn't look right.
I will occasionally wear a body suit with leggings as they sit over the top well.

Biancadelrioisback

T-Shirt and leggings is fine. T-shirt tucked into leggings looks weird, like tucking a top into thick tights. You see all the mounds from the fabric stuffed down the tighter fabric so doesn't look right.
I will occasionally wear a body suit with leggings as they sit over the top well.“

This is an 8 year old.

The likes of leggings with tucked in or short t shirts isn't regional, it's of it's time. It's been in fashion before, it's in fashion now, it will go out of fashion to the delight of all the legging/t shirt haters but sadly for you it will come back again in your lifetime and your dc will likely wear it again as adults when they have absolute free choice. That's the thing with such a long standing staple. With tunics will always be appropriate for toddlers and maybe certain adults but probably won't be popular fashion. I'm surprised what people wear impact so much on others when they are appropriately covered. Possibly something the impacted person needs to work on?!

@shesellsseacats

But these women look like they forgot to get dressed or that they were going out of the house to me!

Interesting that it's not how it looks to others.

Also, before you all jump on me, I totally agree it's a small thing in the scheme of things.

And while looking for these images I've come across some horrible memes shaming women for "exposing" their crotch for wearing leggings. FWIW I don't feel the issue is that their crotch is exposed at all, what nonsense.

For me it's just a style thing like whether it's acceptable to wear PJs out or not.

Wtf OP 😂

This is what I look like on a daily basis. I have 2 young DC who I'm chasing around the playground. Not sure what else I should be wearing?

So I am an adult and wear this as loungewear and will nip to the shop in it ... shoot me. It isn't smart but it's comfy and practical so 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm surprised what people wear impact so much on others when they are appropriately covered. Possibly something the impacted person needs to work on?!

nice story, but we are only talking about setting rules for your own children. We all do. Your personal choices might go towards a different direction, but as a parent you still have rules.

We also all have different taste, and "fashion" can mean anything and everything. It cannot come as such a massive shock to realise that your taste is not shared unanimously.

It doesn't mean people care that much, just they can find any outfit very unflattering or unattractive. Big deal.

People don't need to look smart or stylish if they don't want to.

very true.
It's just a shame the very combo leggings + tshirt shown above just looks like they forgot something. It doesn't look like like a wardrobe malfunction with a slightly longer top.

@MessOfEyelinerAndSpraypaint

And one last comment - so much of this thread demonstrates the problem at the root of our society (& I'm talking about England only here)... "I", "I", "I". Apparently no-one is looking at anyone else, cares enough about anyone else. So long as "I" am comfortable, who cares about the rest of the people I share my locale with? Is it that I was brought up in a village, then moved to a liberal city, then a place of managed decline? I've travelled into the nooks & crannies of the UK, some of Europe, and further, with work. Clothes send signals. There are regional differences that will see you easily marked as a stranger, & those variants weave their way through the usual tribal dress codes. Our attire sends messages, even if you think you're just slinging on a pair of leggings & a top that doesn't pass the waistband "for ease", the outfit is communicating on your behalf. I dressed my dd in stretchy colourful clothes she could happily scurf all day in. At nursery she wore dresses that were practical but she felt good in, with leggings underneath. No control issues. It's not a need to be stylish as a pp asserted, it's called consideration of your environment. This is another long comment. I've oft said my belief that leggings should be classed as underwear is an unpopular opinion, but wow this thread has rammed home how little people care for their impact beyond their doorstep. Once again, go with grace op!

😂 What a load of shite. We don't not care about the impact, there IS no impact. People wearing a style you don't like that sometimes, but not always, looks a little translucent, has zero impact on you.