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[Babymeanswashing]

DP this morning ‘So what are your plans for today?’

I’m probably being prickly but it seems like he’s assuming whatever I do won’t involve him!

Unless there’s a backstory that’s a perfectly normal question.

Fair enough.

I’d say, ‘cleaning as usual, as it’s my day off’.

Sounds like he is asking what you are doing rather than assuming your plans will include him or that you are free.

Sounds normal - not making the assumption that your plans must necessarily include him, but not precluding that.

I don’t know tbh. It seems to suggest I’ll be off doing my thing while he chills at home.

He is acknowledging that you have a life separate to him and not presuming you can fall in with his plans.

Sounds normal enough to me.

What are your plans today? Either tell him or if nothing say "not much on have you any ideas?"

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable way to start a conversation. You are reading touch into it.

We say this to each other when we don't have plans we have already discussed. Its helpful to know when he's cutting the grass/I'm going for a run/see if each other fancy going for a coffee. Do you live together? Otherwise I suppose it might be different ie. You assume he's coming over, and then feel he's non committal.

Are you always this awkward or is there backstory here?

Sorry, how am I being awkward?

I accepted on like the third post I’ve clearly read a bit much into it.

I’m really getting paranoid about this.

Sounds normal but it depends on your relationship. My husband and I would ask each other that meaning 'what do we need to plan around today?' and plan anything else together. You sound as though you feel this is symptomatic of a bit of an issue in how you regard spending time together.

If all else is fine in your relationship that's a perfectly normal and fine question to ask.

How did you answer?

Normal question op.

You obv don't have plans together so he's just asking what your up to.

Depends what your answer was also, you could have nothing fancy going for some lunch? Fancy a couple drinks, coffee etc.

Like I say it’s the fact that he’s assuming whatever we do it won’t be together. And we have a very young child and since he won’t be having her she’ll obviously be coming with me for my ‘plans’. Probably am being hard work.

It’s such a normal question…pretty sure I said the same to my husband this morning. Glad I did because he has buggered off sailing so I have a whole day to myself…absolutely fab ! Am watching rubbish TV and having a sneaky early glass of wine and am planning on what foody treat I am going to have later 😊

I mean if we didn’t live together and have a child I can quite see it would be different but we do, so …

OP I agree with you, it sounds like he's managing your expectations i.e, don't expect to spend the day with him.

Just seen you have a young child….suggest he takes child out somewhere so you can chill.

No I don't think he is necessarily assuming anything but you know him best.

And we have a very young child and since he won’t be having her she’ll obviously be coming with me for my ‘plans’. Probably am being hard work.

Why is it a given that he won't be having her?

Perfectly normal question in my house.
Usually answered with......I thought I / we would ( whatever the plan is )
Or nothing much, do you fancy doing anything?
Sometimes I surprise him by saying I'm going to dance a naked conga down to my loverboys house with a rose between my teeth, what about you?

I always ask DH what his plans are.

Does your P always expect you to be off taking care of your child whilst he does nothing?

Why are you upset? There must be a bit more to it than asking what your plans are.