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Original poster

Men having kids in their 20's

333 replies

cloudywater · 14/08/2021 12:07

I'm asking purely because I'm curious and being a bit nosy but from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s. I'm asking because I've noticed a lot of footballers seem to have children when they are young. I'm just wondering from your social circles how common is it for men to have kids before the age of 30?

OP posts:
TractorAndHeadphones · 17/08/2021 09:00

@Cirin

We were 25, but only realised afterwards it was unusual to have a home, an established career and then children at that age. The other parents all were so much older, and said some very nasty things about our ages.

Work in tech, guys, you'll have a house by 25 and school gate parents will hate you Confused

Don't you mean 'work in tech and be lucky enough to find your life partner by 25'?
ineedaholidaynow · 17/08/2021 13:27

Most people I know who went to university weren’t in serious relationships either, so that would also need to be factored in. I assume most graduates who start a family in early twenties were in a serious relationship whilst at uni.

Od130990 · 21/08/2021 02:47

Why would people assume this is unheard of?
Well I'm gonna assume if you haven't had children in your 20's early 30's that either the female is baron or the male is Jaffa.
20's are child bearing ages & it doesn't matter how many (miracles) you apparently see or read about the Fact remains that fertility declines rapidly in our 30's

Cheeseplantboots · 21/08/2021 04:33

It depends on how old you are. My mum was 21 and 24 with me and my sister, born late 60’s early 70’s.

I’m late 40’s and most of my friends have grown up children in their 20’s and some have grandchildren. I had my last two at 34 and 35, I was definitely one of the older mums when they were at primary school. So yes most of my friends had their kids in their early twenties.

Waveafterwaveslowlydrifting · 21/08/2021 04:36

DH and I were both 26 but that's unusual compared to our friends

Lemonlemon88 · 21/08/2021 04:43

I think it really depends on when you feel settled.. In my home town, people started having babies around 25 but in town it was mainly those over 30. Also comparable ages for buying homes though as it was a lot cheaper to buy in my home town so those people had all bought homes young too.

ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 04:46

My child's dad was 22 when our daughter was born, I was 21. Best friends husband was 26 when he had his first. My dad 23 when he had his first. Plenty of guys from my year at school have primary aged children and I am only 29.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 21/08/2021 05:18

No, not common where I'm from.
My ex had a kid when he was 26, not with me, thank god.
He was the exception.

ReginaGeorgeIsAFuglySlut · 21/08/2021 05:29

I find threads like these pretty jarring. It is sad hearing the amount of people that will switch the word chav to bogan and use it as a way to degenerate others and elevate themselves in their own small minds.

In saying that, I had my children at 19 and 20 respectively and live in the equivalent of a council house, so I'm just a lowly bogan myself. At least I can take satisfaction in knowing I am raising two kind, intelligent young men, who have way to much class to judge someone by something as unimportant as their perceived social standing.

Camomila · 21/08/2021 07:35

DH was 27 when we had DS1, we did go to university but met in my first year and got married when we were 26.

I know a few other couples where both parents were late 20s when they had their first DC - they'd all married their university boyfriends/girlfriends.

Greygreenblue · 21/08/2021 07:56

DH was 29 when our eldest was born (and I had just turned 30) - we were the first in our circle to have children. Several times over the years I have felt weirdly like a “young mum” around here, even though I was 30.

Possibly because this town is dominated by University educated professionals. I know it isn’t quite this skewed in most other places.

woodfort · 21/08/2021 08:01

It’s definitely a socio economic thing. On a whole I think the research is that the more educated a person is the later they have children.

Givemebackmylilo · 21/08/2021 08:05

What a judgemental and horrible thread.

Willyoujustbequiet · 21/08/2021 08:11

Unheard of around me. Men or women. My own father was 33 40 years ago.

Most dads at the school gates at our school were 40s/50s.

Definitely a tendency to have them later for the middle class circles.

ComeonJulia · 21/08/2021 08:16

Probably true. They’re also more likely to be mortgaged up to the eyeballs and have cars on finance. Plus middle class teens are more likely to dabble in drugs as they are more affordable for them so are less likely to spend their late teens and early 20s saving and getting on the property ladder and more likely to blow money on drugs and being “liberal”

See. Can’t really generalise, can you?

beltanelove · 21/08/2021 08:20

Yes. This. How insular to think it’s odd for people to have children younger than 30 !

beltanelove · 21/08/2021 08:23

@ReginaGeorgeIsAFuglySlut

I find threads like these pretty jarring. It is sad hearing the amount of people that will switch the word chav to bogan and use it as a way to degenerate others and elevate themselves in their own small minds.

In saying that, I had my children at 19 and 20 respectively and live in the equivalent of a council house, so I'm just a lowly bogan myself. At least I can take satisfaction in knowing I am raising two kind, intelligent young men, who have way to much class to judge someone by something as unimportant as their perceived social standing.

Didn’t quote- I mean as in yes . This .
woodhill · 21/08/2021 13:48

@woodfort

It’s definitely a socio economic thing. On a whole I think the research is that the more educated a person is the later they have children.
Or the decade they had dc. e.g. 60's

Both my dps were well educated as were their peers having dc in their 20s.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 21/08/2021 20:06

DH and I were 19 when we met (at college) , we did the car/house/cat then married at 28 .

Didn't have DS till we were 33 , DD at 36 .

My biological clock didn't tick till I was in my 30s and I put off giving birth till I thought "Hell I'm just going to have to get on with it aren't I"?

DD ( 19) is now amused and horrified that I met her Dad when I was her age Grin

Just10moreminutesplease · 21/08/2021 20:10

I think it depends on your social circle. Out of my friends I can’t think of any men who had a child before turning 30 (and only a couple of women).

I know through social media that quite a lot of men I went to school with had children in their 20s though 🤷‍♀️.

smmanf12 · 21/08/2021 20:11

I met DH at 24, he was 23.

Moved in together after 2 years together.

Engaged after 3 years together, married the following year when we were 28 and 27.

DS was born when we were 29 and 28 - DD was born when we were 32 and 31.

VestaTilley · 21/08/2021 20:13

BIL had two of his with his wife at 24 and 28- he’s one of the best Dad’s I know. He’s working class and people marry and have children earlier up here.

By contrast DH and I are London professionals, we married at 30 and had DS at 33.

sbhydrogen · 21/08/2021 20:14

DH was 27 when our first was born. We're the first from our group to have kids.

bigbeatmanifesto · 21/08/2021 20:18

DH was 24 & 27 when our DS's were born, 32 when DD was born.

NigellaSeed · 21/08/2021 20:29

DP was 29, and is the only dad in his friendship group