Men having kids in their 20's

[cloudywater]

I'm asking purely because I'm curious and being a bit nosy but from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s. I'm asking because I've noticed a lot of footballers seem to have children when they are young. I'm just wondering from your social circles how common is it for men to have kids before the age of 30?

Shiny I liked this

'from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s'

Because in today's world of course people have children in their late teens twenties all the time.

And not everyone on MN lives in, or was raised in... Wherever OP is.

DH was 27 with DC1 and 29 with DC2. We are both teachers, we always said we would get married and buy a house and then have kids (we’ve been together since we were 17), and we did exactly that 😊

Friends have only recently started having children (all now in their 30s)

@ineedaholidaynow

Can I ask why people have children either at uni or straight after? I had 5 years of training and professional exams after my degree so having a child then would not really have fitted in. Then you would want to establish your career before taking time out. I know this thread is mainly about men but many women have posted that they are graduates but had children in early twenties

@ineedaholidaynow because we wanted to have adult children in our forties (we do now), because we wanted to be parents, because we were working whilst training.

A bonus that we hadn't anticipated was that they knew six of their eight great grandparents and remember them.

Have loved my forties and having teens, discovering new things and places with them is awesome.

Partner was 26 when our LG was born, He's the only dad in his friend group. The rest of them still act about 12 and have no plans to be dad's anytime soon 😂

My husband was 23 when our eldest was born, 25 when our second was born and 37 when our third was born.
I think it's always been common for men to have children in their twenties. My dad did, my brothers did and most of my friends and husband's friends did too.
Why do you find it strange?

@billy1966

100 % Completely unheard of.

Would definitely not want it for my children in any shape or form.

Your 20's are a wonderful stage of your life to learn about yourself, not to mind your 30's.
Having children is a responsibility that can never really be abdicated upon, ever, once they have arrived.

Didn't never considered it for myself, certainly wouldn't want it for my children

It's really not that deep, jeez. Personal choice, not the end of the world is it?

My partner was 21 and 22 when our first 2 arrived (we plan on having more, he's 23 now). We owned our house by that point, he earns enough to support all of us (although I work too when not on mat leave), and his earnings will rise significantly soon, so we were prepared. He has always wanted to have children young and was never interested in going out partying or travelling as a single person, he spends a lot of time with the kids and I, but 99% of his remaining free time is looking into new business ideas.
Thinking about it, a lot of his friends did already have kids when our first was born.

We were 25, but only realised afterwards it was unusual to have a home, an established career and then children at that age. The other parents all were so much older, and said some very nasty things about our ages.

Work in tech, guys, you'll have a house by 25 and school gate parents will hate you

@billy1966

100 % Completely unheard of.

Would definitely not want it for my children in any shape or form.

Your 20's are a wonderful stage of your life to learn about yourself, not to mind your 30's.
Having children is a responsibility that can never really be abdicated upon, ever, once they have arrived.

Didn't never considered it for myself, certainly wouldn't want it for my children

You've spouted some absolute nonsense on a number of threads now, and it's looking a lot like you're just acting out.

Very uncommon in my circle for both men and women. Most people I know are educated to degree level though.

I wouldn't think it uncommon.

DH was 31 with our first. Dbrother's wife is expecting a baby any day now, he's 35.

They both spent their 20s at university, DB getting a PhD. Then focusing on career, getting married, buying a house, traveling. Most men I know have had DC in their 30s, early and late.

Most people I know are educated to degree level though.

That wouldn't mean they couldn't have kids in their 20s though, if most people complete their undergraduate and masters by 22/23

Hardly anyone In our circle has had children before thirty. Most late thirties.

It's uncommon in my circles too - DH and I were 27 and 28 when we had our first (having first got degrees, MAs and professional qualifications) and many of our friends are only now getting married let alone having babies, 10 years behind us. There are definite pros and cons to both approaches, it's impossible to say which way is better!

@astoundedgoat

Is this not a tiny bit disingenuous? The more highly educated/middle class you are, the older you are starting a family. If you are uneducated and/working class, you start younger. So the opening question is kind of more “are you and your friends middle class or not?”

Yep. This is correct.

Not uncommon. DH was 25, his best friend then weirdly chose to TTC as soon as ours was born and subsequently had their first about 10 months later. I say weirdly because he then TTC just after we had our second so they have two DC both born ten months after ours… We’re both graduates and DH and his friend went to a fancy private school if that helps.

@Cirin I feel your pain!
Our DD goes to a private school and the looks we got when she first started and we were 26.
Funny how they wanted to be friends before long!

The comments on education are just sweeping statements. I'm educated to postgraduate level, most of my friends who became parents in their early-mid twenties are at least educated to degree level, too. The ones with postgrads did complete them after having kids.

It has been uncommon in my generation as we are more immature than our parent's generation tbf.

I hope my own children won't wait so long.

@Mushypeasandchipstogo

Very uncommon in my circle for both men and women. Most people I know are educated to degree level though.

You can get a degree, a master's and even a few years of work experience and still be in your twenties. I worked from 16 around my A levels and degree, in banking, which meant post-graduate promotion got me on the right foot. You can be in your 20s and still be very career-minded and successful.

I travelled then, and I travel now with the children. The fun doesn't have to stop. I find life is just as fun with kids and don't subscribe to the idea your 20s have to be different to your parenting years (unless talking about alcohol or something.) I've done more, learned more and travelled further with my children than before them.

[quote ComeonJulia]@Cirin I feel your pain!
Our DD goes to a private school and the looks we got when she first started and we were 26.
Funny how they wanted to be friends before long![/quote]
One mother didn't even say hello. She wrinkled her nose and said, cattily, "So, is Dad still around then?"

Snooty mare 😶

Very uncommon to have kids before the age of 30 in my circles. Youngest mum/dad I know we're 28 and 29.

I know more people having this first child in their 40s than in their 20s.

I am 37 and had my kids at 27 and 29, my husband is a year older than me. I was married at 24. I have a senior professional job and a postgraduate degree. Dont think these things are mutually exclusive AT ALL and think I'm in a better position than many peers who are now struggling with infertility.

DH was 37 when I had our first DC, most of his friends have adult children. My friends mostly had their DC late 20s, early 30s.