Do most older men prefer younger women?

[Chippingbird23]

Just wondering as woman what your thoughts are? Do you find it harder to date in 30’s or 40’s or have you found ‘true’ love later in life?

I agree IcedPurple

As for younger men liking older women a few do but some of those are looking for women who have money/not wanting the commitment of their own children just as some women look for older men with money. Like a lot of men some women kid themselves into believing the narrative men like an older experienced women. It’s few and far between it’s more about what we can offer and that not just in bed

To look at younger men and women are more attractive they are not as jaded with life

I don’t want to be someone’s experienced partner or to be convenient I want to be on an equal in a relationship.

Men are hilarious. They seem to think ageing is this weird thing which only happens to women.

Maybe my peer group is different from the norm but certainly amongst the 40/50 something men I know their ongoing fight against, grey hair, baldness, fat, wrinkles and deteriorating eyesight is a source of ongoing self depreciating humour.

@DillonPanthersTexas

Men are hilarious. They seem to think ageing is this weird thing which only happens to women.

Maybe my peer group is different from the norm but certainly amongst the 40/50 something men I know their ongoing fight against, grey hair, baldness, fat, wrinkles and deteriorating eyesight is a source of ongoing self depreciating humour.

OK, perhaps I was over generalising.

However, the poster to whom I was responding seems typical of quite a few men, with his "Sorry ladies, your man really wants a fit woman half his age bcoz biology'. As though women of all ages aren't also lusting over hot young men too.

I think it's hilarious that most middle aged men have no doubts at all that they can get a younger women. It's like they're completely blind to their dad bods, bad clothing decisions and the fact that most women won't look at anyone more than 10 years (at a push) older than them. My ex H once said, seriously, that he could get any woman.

That said, I don't actually know any men with younger wives or gfs, and I am not having any problems dating men my own age or slightly younger. While I might objectively think that a 30 year old man is attractive (more attractive than a 50 year old), I'm not actually that attracted to them. I suppose I might be if I was just after sex, but I'm not - conversation, joint hobbies, the same stage in life, are all important to me.

I do know a man who did date a much younger (think 25 years) woman. I asked him about it and he said that everyone (I assume he meant other men) were envious of him. But the reality was that no one was - most people thought he was a sad old man, his kids refused to talk to him, and in fact he ended up being stalked by the woman who turned out to be insane. He regrets it massively now.

@Rainbunny

Well we're all allowed to be interested in who we want but I have always avoided big age gap relationships for myself.

My aunt married my uncle who was nearly twenty years older than her. She basically became his caregiver when she was just hitting her fifties. She was vibrant and active and wanted to have adventures which all disappeared due to my uncle's age and ill health. She loved him but she always warned me in no uncertain terms never to marry a much older man.

100% this. ^

I would never EVER go for an older man. Some people say (on here) that just because your husband is 20 years older than you, that makes no difference, because someone isn't going to automatically need a carer when they hit 75!

But the fact is that some people will, and also, if you're only in your mid 50s and still in reasonable health, and wanting to travel and start new ventures, you're hardly going to be getting that when your husband is knocking the door of 80!

Some people on here protest, and insist that their 85 year old mother runs marathons, and cycles 15 miles to work every day (coz they ALWAYS still work at 80-odd on here.) In the real world the vast majority of people over 75 will not be in great health, they WILL need help and care, and they will NOT still be bloody working.

Also, re THIS part of your post;

I remember after I got divorced when I was 31, various older male acquaintances came out of the woodwork asking for dates. I actually found it creepy. That these men in their late forties, They weren't exactly old enough to be my father but ugh!

The interesting thing is that they thought they had a chance with me. It's impressive how highly a completely average man can think about himself. I'm not saying I'm a model or anything close to it but looking back I realise I was looking as good as I've ever looked in my early thirties, I was also in really good shape at that time but these near fifty year old men (and they looked it) thought I'd be interested in them? I can't imagine looking at a thirty year old man as a fifty year old woman and thinking I'd have a chance with him romantically!.

This is the kind of thing I was on about further back in the thread. Middle aged men thinking they have a chance with a woman 15-20 years younger is hilarious. They see themselves as still hot, attractive, and a wow with the women. Not ALL of them, but many of them yeah.

Sorry mate, but unless you're Brad Pitt, or Leonardo DiCaprio, you can jog on...

Very few women are going to fancy a man a generation older, unless he is RICH.

Also (as I said earlier,) these same middle aged men who think they're so 'hot,' also think that women of their own age group are repugnant.

I have seen waaaaaay more middle aged women who look great for their age, than middle aged men who do. Many of them see themselves as an irresistible lothario, who women 20 years younger will be lusting after. In reality, most middle aged men are chubby, balding, hairy, moany, and boring.

Another thing I have noticed about middle aged men - is that they all think they're funny. Telling awful (often bigoted, racist, or sexist 'jokes'.) I know several men who tell 'jokes' constantly. And the 'jokes' are so awful. Not even remotely funny. Yet these men think they're fucking hilarious, and that they should be a stand-up comedian!

And as you say, you wouldn't get a 50 y.o woman thinking she had a chance with a 30 y.o. man! It's so bizarre!

Whatever your husband or partner might claim in order to make you feel good, he wishes you had the body of a fit 20 year old.

LOL.

And do you think women aren't wishing their balding, pot bellied 50 year old husband looked like Jack Grealish or Chris Hemsworth?

Men are hilarious. They seem to think ageing is this weird thing which only happens to women.

Exactly this. And also, I don't need any MAN showering me with compliments to make me 'feel good' And most women I know don't need a man's compliments to validate them either.

I KNOW when I look good, and I KNOW when I look like a bag of shit. don't need anyone to tell me.

EG, when I was 14 and a half stone, and hated the way I looked, my DH saying I still look good, and I am 'beautiful,' just came across as patronising. And it seemed he was minimising how shit I felt about my weight and how I looked. Don't tell me I look good when I don't. It's condescending and annoying. I wanted him to fuck off with the 'compliments.' I know I looked shit. (Not saying all women who are 4-5 stone overweight look shit by the way, but I do when I am that overweight!)

Also, when I lose weight, and my clothes look better on me, and I look - and feel - good, I STILL don't need compliments.

I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me, and I especially don't give a flying fuck about the opinion of a man. Nope, not even DH. And yeah, he probably wishes I looked like a 20 y.o. Victoria's Secret model. I secretly wish he looked like Harry Styles.

Absolutely no interest in the body of a fit 20 year old because I remember all too clearly what sex and dating with 20 year olds was like. If my partner feels that way he can no doubt start perving around his son's girlfriend. But he doesn't, because he's not a ridiculous idiot, and because he has got his hands full satisfying me.

Actually I had a big fight with my partner a few years back when he was telling me that all the women he went to school with looked ’rough’.

This is coming from a nearly 50 year old with next to no hair and who is about two stone overweight.

@PermanentTemporary

Absolutely no interest in the body of a fit 20 year old because I remember all too clearly what sex and dating with 20 year olds was like. If my partner feels that way he can no doubt start perving around his son's girlfriend. But he doesn't, because he's not a ridiculous idiot, and because he has got his hands full satisfying me.

@FloFloFloFloFlo

Actually I had a big fight with my partner a few years back when he was telling me that all the women he went to school with looked ’rough’.

This is coming from a nearly 50 year old with next to no hair and who is about two stone overweight.

Now THIS is what I (and some others on here) am talking about. Men in their 40s and 50s (middle aged,) labelling all middle aged women, as rough and ugly, and dried up old prunes etc. Like they^ look they look like fucking Jack Grealish or Harry Styles. (ie young and gorgeous!)

In reality, they're middle aged men (and they look it,) and they have dad bods, bald patches, and hairy backs! And the young women they lust after are laughing at them, and taking the piss out of them!

About 2 years back, one bloke at my workplace (in his late 40s,) was taking the piss out of a 55 y.o male character on one of his favourite shows, for going for a 54 y.o. woman, and he said 'he wants her dried up old minge and her saggy flaps.' (I know - fucking vile.)

I said 'and SHE wants his tiny limp dick, and his saggy dried up old bollocks!'

Not proud of myself, as I dragged myself down to his level, but fuck it!

Also, a couple of posters have said the middle aged men THEY know don't ever think they are attractive to women 20 years younger, and they self deprecate and so on... LOL, dream on. Do you seriously think that these men NEVER fancy their chances with much younger, very attractive women? Most of them do. Yep, even your husband, and probably your dad! You just don't know about it!

That made me laugh! Spot on!

Some people on here protest, and insist that their 85 year old mother runs marathons, and cycles 15 miles to work every day (coz they ALWAYS still work at 80-odd on here.) In the real world the vast majority of people over 75 will not be in great health, they WILL need help and care, and they will NOT still be bloody working.

Yeah I agree - I'm in my early 50s and while I'm well aware that I'm no longer young, neither am I old and ready for slippers. I love travelling and plan on doing much more once the situation permits. A much older man wouldn't be a good partner for me, for that and other reasons. Good for all those women on MN with much older husbands who are fit as a fiddle, full of zest and certainly weren't looking for a woman half their age (because of course not) but that's not typical. And how many men in their 40s or 50s would be prepared to live with and potentially care for a much older wife? Very few indeed.

I have seen waaaaaay more middle aged women who look great for their age, than middle aged men who do. Many of them see themselves as an irresistible lothario, who women 20 years younger will be lusting after. In reality, most middle aged men are chubby, balding, hairy, moany, and boring.

I agree. As I said above, I'm in my early 50s and I see attractive, stylish women my age - and much older - every day. I hardly ever see a man about whom I could say the same. The 'silver fox' is a bit of a myth.

I’m 50’s and dating and finding a decent looking bloke in that age range and above is needle in a haystack. All the best ones are snapped up by the younger women they are chasing, leaving me with the dregs

@OhWhyNot

I agree IcedPurple

As for younger men liking older women a few do but some of those are looking for women who have money/not wanting the commitment of their own children just as some women look for older men with money. Like a lot of men some women kid themselves into believing the narrative men like an older experienced women. It’s few and far between it’s more about what we can offer and that not just in bed

To look at younger men and women are more attractive they are not as jaded with life

I don’t want to be someone’s experienced partner or to be convenient I want to be on an equal in a relationship.

I think it's a bit disrespectful to older women to say they are kidding themselves that younger men are interested. Not all are interested obviously, but a great many are. When a woman has reached the age of 50 odd and has experienced, what? 35 or more years of male attention, I'd say she was old enough to know if a man was interested in her or not. Older women are not all deluded old fools who can be taken in by some young lad after their money. Older men? I wouldn't know. But I'd put money on the average woman in her 50s having more chance of attracting a man in his 20s if she so wishes than the other way round.

@IcedPurple My 85 year old dad still drives Its unlikely he will give it up given my parents have been refused ambulances three times in the last year including for DMs head injury. So its probably just as well hes still just about fit enough to drive.

I have no interest in younger men whatsoever. I just dont. Maybe im just wired differently.

I think it's a bit disrespectful to older women to say they are kidding themselves that younger men are interested. Not all are interested obviously, but a great many are.

Some people are delusional about their attractiveness though. More usually men than women, in my experience, especially when it comes to thinking younger people have the hots for you, but some women labour under the same delusions too.

But I'd put money on the average woman in her 50s having more chance of attracting a man in his 20s if she so wishes than the other way round.

Definitely.

[quote MercyBooth]@IcedPurple My 85 year old dad still drives Its unlikely he will give it up given my parents have been refused ambulances three times in the last year including for DMs head injury. So its probably just as well hes still just about fit enough to drive.[/quote]
What??? Why were they refused an ambulance THREE times?!

@IcedPurple Agree totally with everything you say in your last few posts..

The technological advances play a part too. Most of Generation X (my generation) were brought up without the internet and/or social media.

Which means younger men who have had access to internet porn at a simple click, may have a certain view of how women should look and have unrealistic expectations.

Good point @MercyBooth

Sorry for derail but told it wasnt needed. I was there the first time when it was my dad in abdominal pain that wouldnt shift. And i was on the phone to NHS and they told me it wasnt needed. Second time was DMs fall back in Feb when she broke her wrist and the third time was when she fell two weeks ago and smashed her head on the sideboard. The past two times i didnt find out till afterwards.

Can see many older people being unwilling to give up their cars because of this even if they are unfit to drive.

That's terrible @MercyBooth

Sorry for derail.

DB is 46 in October. His partner (SIL) is 63 Been together since 1996