Do most older men prefer younger women?

[Chippingbird23]

Just wondering as woman what your thoughts are? Do you find it harder to date in 30’s or 40’s or have you found ‘true’ love later in life?

@MercyBooth

Sorry for derail.

That's OK...

It suits the patriarchy to peddle the myth that women are not attracted to physically beautiful men.
Of course they are.
One of the reasons women may not openly ogle young, atttactive, fit men is that they get called names such as cougar. Stupid term really. Is there an equivalent term for a man? Not really not if the man is only 6 years plus older than the woman. It isn't that long ago that women were called whores for having a child out of wedlock and their child called a bastard. Now it's common place so we tend not to use those words anymore. Of course back in the day this ensured women endured terrible marriages as the stigma of being single was unbearable.
I don't think women would bother with older men if they were financially comfortable otherwise.
It is also a biological fact that if a woman wants to get pregnant she should have sex with several different men. It makes the sperm swim faster if there is foreign competition.
How strange that this fact is not common knowledge, why aren't doctors telling women this? Oh wait it doesn't fit the narrative does it?
The narrative that women are not as interested in sex as men, the narrative that women should save themselves blah blah blah.
Biological fact. Women should shag lots of young fit blokes in order to ensure the best chance of getting pregnant.
I only know one woman whose husband is significantly older and even then it's only 10 years.
He does look very good for his age. Still has lots of hair, a flat stomach, fit and toned. He has always looked after himself and wears good quality smart clothes. I believe a factor in their happy marriage is that they are chidless, her choice and non negotiable. He does not have any 'baggage' and they were both very high flying career people. He also does all the cooking and food prep.
She is under no illusions that she will probably be a widow before her time as he will probably die first and she isn't under any illusion about this.
The single women I know who are 50 ish and above are not having a good time trying to find a partner. The main bug bare seems to be that they do not want 'baggage'. All of them have older children and do not want a man with young children, a trap lots of men fall into. Some have said they don't even want one who has grandchildren, these women are just not interested in any of that. They also want someone who is as physically attractive as they are which tends to rule out anyone the same age or older, as a lot of men have not taken enough care of themselves to look good.

The narrative that women are not as interested in sex as men

Exactly. Its women who have an organ that is purely for sexual pleasure.

@Onlinedilema
It is also a biological fact that if a woman wants to get pregnant she should have sex with several different men. It makes the sperm swim faster if there is foreign competition.
How strange that this fact is not common knowledge, why aren't doctors telling women this? Oh wait it doesn't fit the narrative does it

Do you have a study/evidence of this? It's something I've always vaguely believed but never had anything to back it up.

I found true love at the age of 41 and my late dh was 47.

We met at work and had a shared hobby.
I'm 44 now and I really can't see me dating again or meeting anyone else unless it's through old which I don't fancy.

Dh and I meeting each other like that in our 40s seems very rare these days

I met DH at work - I was 32 when we got together and he was 52. His ex was 7 years older than him though so he doesn’t have a habit of dating younger women!

Why is it disrespectful. I didn’t say it’s all relationships but we know some women will marry an older man and money is part of the attraction do you not think men don’t find money attractive too. Or that would they don’t look for relationships where they will not have the responsibilities of having their own family and a home is set up for them.

Women can be (though I don’t think as many) as foolish and egotistical have you not read who many good looking young waiters fall madly in love with a 55 year old then suddenly fall out of love with her once they have a visa.

I’m in my late 40’s I don’t doubt if I wanted to get a man in his 20’s into bed I would probably find it easier that male friend my age getting a women in her 20’s into bed. I don’t think that has much to do with how attractive I am to younger men in general I just think more men are up for no string sex with anyone who is still vaguely attractive

I’ve never considered getting a man into bed as a sign of how attractive I am it’s not a difficult challenge

@OhWhyNot

Why is it disrespectful. I didn’t say it’s all relationships but we know some women will marry an older man and money is part of the attraction do you not think men don’t find money attractive too. Or that would they don’t look for relationships where they will not have the responsibilities of having their own family and a home is set up for them.

Women can be (though I don’t think as many) as foolish and egotistical have you not read who many good looking young waiters fall madly in love with a 55 year old then suddenly fall out of love with her once they have a visa.

I’m in my late 40’s I don’t doubt if I wanted to get a man in his 20’s into bed I would probably find it easier that male friend my age getting a women in her 20’s into bed. I don’t think that has much to do with how attractive I am to younger men in general I just think more men are up for no string sex with anyone who is still vaguely attractive

I’ve never considered getting a man into bed as a sign of how attractive I am it’s not a difficult challenge

I think its disrespectful to suggest that older women are prey to younger men on the make, as it implies a level of naivety that does not exist in most mature women, who on the whole, after decades of dealing with men, are more likely to be able to fully read a situation. Yes there are very rare instances as you describe, but they are so rare, we do tend to only read of them rather than know of them directly. Yet whenever the subject comes up its disproportionately assumed the younger man must have ulterior motives which the older woman is too foolish to realise. Because of course, at her age, she couldn't possibly be wanted for herself. I also think it's unfair to liken older women to men in terms of ego and delusion. In a society that constantly tells older women their age makes them low value and undesirable, maintaining healthy self esteem around attractiveness can be enough of a challenge, never mind going round imaging they are irresistible to young men. I know lots of older women who date younger men, still more who are persued by them. Not one of them is deluded about their looks. All were very surprised and suspicious when it first happened, having internalised the myth that they were no longer attractive. In all cases the men approached them. This is entirely different from older men who believe they are entitled to, and can get, a younger women, chase them and hit on them, despite no indication the young women in question are remotely interested.

I’ve not said older women are not attractive I’m still attractive I’ve been hit on by younger men it’s not a new thing. I’m also aware for some older women are seen as easier and yes some are naive

The idea is that women can’t be as driven by their ego as men I disagree I think some can (not as many) and I know some men like women there are reasons why they like older partners and that isn’t just about the person it’s what they can offer

As for getting a younger man into bed that isn’t a reflection on how attractive I am or any women is unless you believe men will only have sex with women they strongly desire

Are we, men and women, as sexually attractive as we age no in general we are not that is down to biology not sexual chemistry that you have rarely with someone

@MsJuniper

I remember seeing this research a few years ago:

metro.co.uk/2019/02/22/men-regardless-age-will-always-attracted-women-early-20s-8718590/

For women, the average ideal age changed with their own age, for men, it never reached more than 24.

Pretty depressing. As others have said I would think it's based on presumed looks and power, with the male assumption being that younger women are likely to be slimmer, more attractive and less worldly/more easily pleased than older women. There is definitely a status to having a young woman as a partner.

Isn't this a biological/ evolutionary thing though? Women are at peak fertility at that age.

It’s just biology. Men are biologically attracted to women at peak fertility.

Of course, most sensible older men realise that their other needs will be best met by someone closer to their own age, but ‘attraction’ is pretty hard wired.

We humans are not really ‘designed’ to live past late 30s. Sad but true.

AntsInPenzance makes a good point about it being evolutionary.

Men can reproduce for the majority of their lives. It makes sense that from a "continuation of the species" point of view they are attracted to women at peak fertility.

Women's attraction to men might change as they age. That's because for most of our existence women relied on men for protection. Once they are past the age they can reproduce there is no imperative for them to mate with a man who is at peak fertility. They only need to couple with them so that they have someone to protect them.

It doesn't fit with the modern view of things - but our modern world is a very abnormal one which goes against much of what's "natural".

@TheReluctantPhoenix

It’s just biology. Men are biologically attracted to women at peak fertility.

Of course, most sensible older men realise that their other needs will be best met by someone closer to their own age, but ‘attraction’ is pretty hard wired.

We humans are not really ‘designed’ to live past late 30s. Sad but true.

I thought we were designed to live three score years and ten.

Not sure that death at forty is the 'design'. In the absence of disease so long as we have warmth, food and shelter, I have the impression that 70 is the 'design'. This is slightly less depressing!

Of course I can see that the average life span could be 40 if lots of women were dying in childbirth and living in the time of TB, working in factories and dying of cancers at 50

@LitPearl,

I mean genetically, as a species. Clearly, we are a fairly unique species who has transcended our genetic ‘design’,

I think pre ‘civilisation’, women would give birth from teens to 20s, allowing them to look after children until they were independent. Things like losing teeth were a big deal back then!

Obviously, even then there were old people, but genetically they had outgrown their use.

@TheReluctantPhoenix

It’s just biology. Men are biologically attracted to women at peak fertility.

Of course, most sensible older men realise that their other needs will be best met by someone closer to their own age, but ‘attraction’ is pretty hard wired.

We humans are not really ‘designed’ to live past late 30s. Sad but true.

I agree with this and believe that women ALSO see a younger man as more attractive than a man their own age (I'm 51, there's no way I think that men I might send a message to on line are more attractive than the men between 30 and 35 but I want to get my needs met. I want to have connection, company, support, understanding..............

I guess the smart realistic men approaching dating the same way.
i do know a man my age who has just had a baby with a 30 year old but he is slim, full head of hair, great teeth, tanned, great job, also wrote a book, plays the guitar (well!).
I don't think it's realistic for every man to put off father hood til 51

@ChainJane

AntsInPenzance makes a good point about it being evolutionary.

Men can reproduce for the majority of their lives. It makes sense that from a "continuation of the species" point of view they are attracted to women at peak fertility.

Women's attraction to men might change as they age. That's because for most of our existence women relied on men for protection. Once they are past the age they can reproduce there is no imperative for them to mate with a man who is at peak fertility. They only need to couple with them so that they have someone to protect them.

It doesn't fit with the modern view of things - but our modern world is a very abnormal one which goes against much of what's "natural".

But this kind of implies that people lived in modern style nuclear families throughout history, when in fact, until relatively recently, people lived in groups where everyone looked out for each other. So women really didn't need to be 'coupled' with one man to look after them.

And in terms of fertility, yes obviously it is more extreme for women in that there comes a point where they simply cannot have children, but younger men are more fertile and more likely to sire healthy babies too. There is no biological or 'evolutionary' advantage for women to mate with older men.

Somebody on another thread made a good point the other day, that before civilisation was so........ ''civilised'', younger, stronger men could have and would have driven away and eliminated the competition of older richer high status men with their physical strength and superiority.

@OhWhyNot

I’ve not said older women are not attractive I’m still attractive I’ve been hit on by younger men it’s not a new thing. I’m also aware for some older women are seen as easier and yes some are naive

The idea is that women can’t be as driven by their ego as men I disagree I think some can (not as many) and I know some men like women there are reasons why they like older partners and that isn’t just about the person it’s what they can offer

As for getting a younger man into bed that isn’t a reflection on how attractive I am or any women is unless you believe men will only have sex with women they strongly desire

Are we, men and women, as sexually attractive as we age no in general we are not that is down to biology not sexual chemistry that you have rarely with someone

I'm not talking about getting a young man into bed, which I imagine is very easy for any woman, I'm talking about men doing the chasing. I do agree with your last comment though, as when I think about the women in relationships with and most persued by younger men, in fairness, they do all look very youthful, and are attractive in the way associated with youth, slim, lots of healthy hair, great skin etc, and the men, while knowing they are older, are often surprised (though not deterred) by their actual age. So maybe the conclusion is that youthfulness is attractive, but that that isn't necessarily dependent on chronological age.

@OhWhyNot

I’ve not said older women are not attractive I’m still attractive I’ve been hit on by younger men it’s not a new thing. I’m also aware for some older women are seen as easier and yes some are naive.

The idea is that women can’t be as driven by their ego as men I disagree I think some can (not as many) and I know some men like women there are reasons why they like older partners and that isn’t just about the person it’s what they can offer.

Agree with this. Though many middle aged women are smart and savvy, there ARE some who are naive and easily conned. Look at the amount of 45 to 60 y.o. women who have been conned by a man, who took all her money/life savings/pension etc etc... SO many women fall for this, and I just don't know why.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I would never EVER, fall for a man's bullshit like this... If a man came along and tried to con me out of my money. I just wouldn't fall for it. I REALLY wouldn't. HOW, and WHYYYY do these women fall for it?!

Joan Collins said: 'As you know, [Percy] is somewhat younger than me. At first people would always say, "What are you going to do about the age difference?" I'd say, "Well, if he dies he dies!

@MercyBooth

Joan Collins said: 'As you know, [Percy] is somewhat younger than me. At first people would always say, "What are you going to do about the age difference?" I'd say, "Well, if he dies he dies!

This thread has constantly reminded me of that. It always makes me laugh.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I would never EVER, fall for a man's bullshit like this... If a man came along and tried to con me out of my money. I just wouldn't fall for it. I REALLY wouldn't. HOW, and WHYYYY do these women fall for it?!

They fall for it because they are desperate, lonely, insecure and naive, that is why they are targeted. The same goes for the older men who get scammed by the east European young women they meet on dating sites. These scams are not weekend jobs, they take months, sometimes years of earning trust and putting in place plausible back stories to allow the extraction of money. It's easy for a confident savvy person like yourself to spot this a mile off but the fact so many get conned suggests there are quite a few vulnerable men and women who fall for this shite.

I think perhaps only younger, less experienced women are interested in the type of misogynistic older men who would look for this type if relationship, and they prey on them. More mature women are wise to the fuckshittery of such wankers and avoid them like the plague and they know this so don't even try to flirt with them. Mature men want a relationship with an equal in terms of finances, career, life experiences, in general. The inadequate ones are the ones that go seeking younger women who will be slower to realise that they are useless partners, in general.

@PearlyBird

Somebody on another thread made a good point the other day, that before civilisation was so........ ''civilised'', younger, stronger men could have and would have driven away and eliminated the competition of older richer high status men with their physical strength and superiority.

That wasn't the case at all, in most societies. Elders were revered, respected and protected by complex family groups and social structures even in ancient civilisations. Men could not run amok and take whichever women they wanted just because they were stronger. Complex social structures pre-date homo sapiens as a species by far.

But also don't forget that in the times you are referring to (I think?) 40 was "old". In many countries the average age of citizens is still in the 20s or 30s even in the 21st century...

I think everyone likes young and beautiful people regardless of gender. So older women like younger men just as much as older men like younger women. The difference is that women generally wait to be approached. Young men don't often approach much older women because they of course also like young women. When I've been approached by younger men it was always for short term fun. So just to pass time, until they find what they really want. Older men frequently approach much younger women, but that doesn't mean that those women actually like them back. They might accept them if the women in question are desperate for attention or the man has a lot of money. Another aspect is that women have other concerns apart from looks when choosing a man and are more cautious. Whereas men can choose purely for their enjoyment and not worry about much else. At least that's my theory