Page 2 | Do most older men prefer younger women?

Chippingbird23 · 2021-08-12T11:50:50+00:00

Just wondering as woman what your thoughts are? Do you find it harder to date in 30’s or 40’s or have you found ‘true’ love later in life?

Bookworm20 · 12/08/2021 13:59

I did find it very depressing when we had an electrician round lately and dh was showing him some colours of tiles we were having in the bathroom and dh said he didn't think the colours he had chosen would “date”. The electrician replied… no its just the wife that goes out of date!

OMG, That's horrible.

But yeah, I think they do prefer younger women for a number of reasons, most of them shallow.
Because most men are pretty shallow. not all, obviously, but i'd say a high percentage.

OwlinaTree · 12/08/2021 14:01

They don't want to date women in their 30s because the perception is they will want to settle down and have children straight away. If they go for 20s they have longer to just date and enjoy the sex.

Angliski · 12/08/2021 14:05

My DH is twenty years older than me and we have been together 10 years. I think it’s interesting how these threads come up and assume that the old many is a dirty git and that the women think, what, s’pose he’ll do?? I really love my DH. He is a fantastic man and a great tad her bad jaws drop when they hear his age.

Angliski · 12/08/2021 14:06

Old man not many! Fat fingers!

ViciousJackdaw · 12/08/2021 14:24

Maybe they do. On the other hand, I've met an awful lot of younger men over the years who would love to date an older woman.

znaika · 12/08/2021 14:48

I tried on;line dating (with success!) a few months ago. I am 45 . I got lots of interest from guys in their early 30s or even late 20s (categorically not interested in them as they just wanted sex)

But the main interest was guys who were 52-3. Really those were the exact ages of all the guys I ended up messaging. They all were attractive and had older kids (at least this is what they claimed). The men my age I realised were not interested in me at all. Often as they had not had kids themselves yet and I presume wanted someone in their early 30s.

Some guys in their 60s tried to contact me (er no mate dream on)

Original poster

Chippingbird23 · 12/08/2021 14:49

@ViciousJackdaw

Maybe they do. On the other hand, I've met an awful lot of younger men over the years who would love to date an older woman.

Little more positivity. Early 40’s here told I look younger even had a few dates with a guy in his mid 30’s he was actually keen to go further but it was just me, not really feeling it I don’t know if I’ve lost my mojo and actually prefer the single life but do miss the company and intimacy not just sexual but the love. I hate online world though it seems so shallow.

OP posts:

CounsellorTroi · 12/08/2021 14:50

@ViciousJackdaw

Maybe they do. On the other hand, I've met an awful lot of younger men over the years who would love to date an older woman.

I'd be worried they had ambitions to become cocklodgers, dating an established older woman with her own home etc.

Original poster

Chippingbird23 · 12/08/2021 14:51

Seems to be a lot of very unattractive men online who want young supermodels 🙄 and they really rate themselves higher

OP posts:

PumpkinKlNG · 12/08/2021 14:52

I think younger men liking older women like guys in their 20s is usually more of a fetish thing to show off to their friends about bagging an older woman rather than wanting a serious relationship

Blossomtoes · 12/08/2021 14:55

I was 45 when I met my bloke and he’s four years younger than me. He wasn’t interested in younger women because he thought they’d want children and he was very clear that he was done.

TerraNovaTwo · 12/08/2021 14:57

Since becoming single, the older men I've come across have been slimey in character and toad-like in appearance.

The dating pool is more like a swamp, it seems awash with creepy crawlies like my dirty old sex pest NDN.

Skybluepinkgiraffe · 12/08/2021 14:58

I met my now dh at 43. He is 3 years older than me. Decent, loving and kind. They are out there (I didn't meet him online though, was a more organic thing)

OneTC · 12/08/2021 14:58

As a purely physical attraction thing when I was younger I preferred women older than myself. As I've got older (40s) I've started to find women my age or a bit younger to be more attractive

In terms of what I consider important in a partner I would never really have been looking outside my immediate age range

DillonPanthersTexas · 12/08/2021 14:59

So older men go for inexperienced younger women because they couldn't get anywhere with older, wiser women.

Certainly when I was in my 20s a number of my peer group were happy to date older men, often citing maturity, old school manners and experience as being a factor. I'm sure the paid for city breaks, high end dining and designer gifts had no influence on their decisions. It would seem to me that consistently the younger women were not naive and inexperienced ones being taken advantage of but very savvy to what was going on and happy with the 'arrangement'.

gogohm · 12/08/2021 15:07

I had 70 year olds contacting me (despite my parameters being set at 45-55) then when I met them (they were obviously a lot older and had used an old photo) they got aggrieved I walked away after 5 mins without even a coffee. Lying is always wrong and I'm not ageist, I just don't fancy being a carer!

Dacquoise · 12/08/2021 15:31

I do wonder if this is a personality/ego thing rather than a fundamental desire by all men. We all know men dating/married to younger women but most men end up with similar aged partners. The dating pool is full of creeps and egomaniacs (ie been turfed out by long suffering women) so perhaps it becomes lopsided in that sense.

My step-DF (large ego) was talking about getting online and dating women 30 years younger than himself. As if!

My ex-DH (larger ego) married a woman 12 years younger than himself. Now dresses like something from the Matrix and dad dances at the Ministry of Sound on the weekends!

My DP (normal bloke) was looking for someone similar age to him when we met. Wouldn't have occured to him to date someone a lot younger.

znaika · 12/08/2021 15:36

@Dacquoise

I do wonder if this is a personality/ego thing rather than a fundamental desire by all men. We all know men dating/married to younger women but most men end up with similar aged partners. The dating pool is full of creeps and egomaniacs (ie been turfed out by long suffering women) so perhaps it becomes lopsided in that sense.

My step-DF (large ego) was talking about getting online and dating women 30 years younger than himself. As if!

My ex-DH (larger ego) married a woman 12 years younger than himself. Now dresses like something from the Matrix and dad dances at the Ministry of Sound on the weekends!

My DP (normal bloke) was looking for someone similar age to him when we met. Wouldn't have occured to him to date someone a lot younger.

This is on the money and hilarious! I love the description of your ExP.

I do think there is a generation of men who have left if very late to start families, ie. early - mid 40s and they don't hear their body clocks ticking. These men want younger women as they prob want a couple of kids.

SweatyBetty20 · 12/08/2021 15:45

I met mine last year online when I was 47 and he was 50. I did get a lot of over 70’s and was just about to give up when he sent me a message. He’d set his parameters from 45-55. When I asked why he said he had two kids, and didn’t want to go out with anyone who was pushing to have a baby - he’s done and happy with the two he’s got. It was more important to him that he could build a lasting relationship with someone of a similar age, interests, background. I’m aware he’s a bit of a rarity.

Enough4me · 12/08/2021 15:46

Im with a partner, but years ago when I went back onto OLD after a break I must have ticked male looking for female on an account as I was presented with straight women. I had a look at profiles in my age group (check my competition!). They were honest, clear photos, upfront on DC and importance of DCs, work and interests. There were some with obvious selfie filters.

Going back to the men the big difference was the level of arrogance and expectation...e.g. 'been messed about by women, can you prove them wrong', 'looking for a reliable woman', with photos in a group of men looking aggressive with pints.

I don't know how many dates I went on when the man had half the hair as on his photos as there were so many.

Men expect young, pretty and non assertive. Women look for honesty.

Ponoka7 · 12/08/2021 15:53

@StrangeToSee, the same men who want to bag a younger woman would still have sex with women their own age. It's got nothing to do with arousal, but status symbol, wanting someone more naive etc etc.

znaika · 12/08/2021 15:54

@Enough4me

Im with a partner, but years ago when I went back onto OLD after a break I must have ticked male looking for female on an account as I was presented with straight women. I had a look at profiles in my age group (check my competition!). They were honest, clear photos, upfront on DC and importance of DCs, work and interests. There were some with obvious selfie filters.

Going back to the men the big difference was the level of arrogance and expectation...e.g. 'been messed about by women, can you prove them wrong', 'looking for a reliable woman', with photos in a group of men looking aggressive with pints.

I don't know how many dates I went on when the man had half the hair as on his photos as there were so many.

Men expect young, pretty and non assertive. Women look for honesty.

Actually I never saw profiles like this. Often men had virtually nothing written on their profiles or 1 word answers (arrogant). Their photos were unphotoshopped and often shit, the ones to avoid were the ex-husbands of the women who post on cycling widows threads who all have themselves posing in lycra.

Women have better profile details but the pressure on women to look good is intense hence a large proportion of weirdly heavily photoshopped, filtered and posed photos. This is not to be unkind but what you say is the opposite of my experience ( and what logic says) No men on my radar pose for social media selfies but I do know plenty of women who do

Enough4me · 12/08/2021 15:58

I agree woman use filters (men use photos that are years old), but the expectation of men jumped out when I went back. I don't think women have the same expectation to be due to be pleased by a man.

TerraNovaTwo · 12/08/2021 16:00

My ex-DH (larger ego) married a woman 12 years younger than himself. Now dresses like something from the Matrix and dad dances at the Ministry of Sound on the weekends!

This has to be one of the most hilarious descriptions I've read on here in quite some time. 🤣🤣🤣

seensome · 12/08/2021 16:05

Not in my case but I'm not looking for an older man, I'm early 40's and date men in their early to mid 30's not short of offers of younger men who also want a relationship so no they don't always want a younger woman. They like the fact that I know what I want in life, like my independence and sophistication according to them. Yes of course there will be some older men that prefer younger women but there are more that are also open to women the same age or older.