Do most older men prefer younger women?

[Chippingbird23]

Just wondering as woman what your thoughts are? Do you find it harder to date in 30’s or 40’s or have you found ‘true’ love later in life?

@Thetigerdrankmywine

I have an older one. 10 years. It didn't seem like much in my 20s, but I'm a little worried about being 50 and having a 60 yr old dh. Or 60, still active, with a 70 yr old.

Kind of wishing I'd stuck closer to my own age, like my friends have. I can foresee quite a lonely old age.

I wouldn’t worry too much. My DH is 11 years older than me. I was 28 when we met, he was 39. I’m now 60 and he’s 71. It’s fine. He’s healthy and fit and still works a bit (he’s an academic).

@Onlinedilema

I started dating again in my 40s. I got a lot of interest from younger men and several of dds friends actually!! I met my dh, we are the same age and we are truly happy. Dh has said that he could never be with a much younger woman, it holds no appeal to him. Likewise I could not care an older man. What a lot of women tell me they find off putting is a man 45 plus with young children, women don't want that at all. In fact 2 of my divorced friends met and married younger men, both men were childless and that was definitely a bonus for both my friends. Old men fathering children is a turn off, sorry to be blunt.

You've nailed it for me. Guys in their late forties and fifties with young kids(toddlers or early primary) or no kids. Hard pass

The dating pool is full of creeps and egomaniacs (ie been turfed out by long suffering women) so perhaps it becomes lopsided in that sense
There is so much wisdom in this thread.

I am just finally coming out of a marriage that has been dead for five years. I am 60 tho’ younger looking/acting but no illusions that my age is not apparent. No desire to meet a man for all the reasons others have given -notably any decent man my own age is taken, and the rest will either be bitter re-treads with baggage, and/or or looking for younger women, but as am healthy, have nearly grown DC and a job and hobbies I love, I am happy with my life and my (female) friends.
However, belong to a club for my hobby and since lockdown ended have got involved with the running if it and totally unexpectedly and intentionally, been hotly pursued by a slight younger man and am madly in lust! We are good friends and enjoying just having fun, doing the hobby, nothing heavy and whether or not it turns into something more, it is just a happy time as we both have kids and lots of other things in our lives too.
As a result, I have lost weight and am looking a lot better and confident and men are circling round!
It is extraordinary. My friends have noticed. A friend was pissing herself laughing the other day when we got out of her car and she saw s male cyclist 50ish lycra-type nearly crash his bike because he was looking at my legs. This has never happened before.
If/when this relationship fizzles out will not do OLD because of the profile/stereotype that doesn’t apply if someone is attracted to you before they know your stats.

MrsJack enjoy yourself, that's what life's about. You seem to have your head screwed on.

I wish people would stop talking bollocks about biology.
Fact: it is better biologically for a woman to fuck and reproduce with a younger man.The sperm from an 18 year old is far, far superior to that of a 28 year old, which is superior to that of a 38 year old etc etc. From a biological perspective, women should not be reproducing with older men. Of course the patriarchy does not like this fact as it reduces men down to merely the quality of their sperm and nothing else.
Society and the patriarchy alone have clouded this fact, just as they did in old times when women were blamed for not producing the correct sex of child. Fact men are 100% responsible for the sex of a child.

• I wish people would stop talking bollocks about biology. Fact: it is better biologically for a woman to fuck and reproduce with a younger man.The sperm from an 18 year old is far, far superior to that of a 28 year old, which is superior to that of a 38 year old etc etc. From a biological perspective, women should not be reproducing with older men. Of course the patriarchy does not like this fact as it reduces men down to merely the quality of their sperm and nothing else.*

By this logic it is also better that older women do not reproduce, as their eggs will not be as good quality as when they were younger.

I read a study a while back that summarised that how a woman looks is one of the most important factors to men. The slimmer the better even to the point of an almost unhealthy BMI and youthfulness was more likely to be linked to this. The more educated the man, the more important this is.

I do wonder whether an older man would prefer an attractive, slim 40yr old, or an unattractive, overweight 25 yr old.

Someone must have done an experiment somewhere on this.

Late 30s, the youngest man who showed interest in me in the last couple of years was early 60s.
For younger men (50s) I think once they decided that they will date much younger women, then there's not a big psychological difference between going 10 years younger and 30 years younger.

Thanks for the positive age gap stories. Dh's dad lived to his 80s, so there's a good chance he'll be nursing me through my dementia years.

@Jakarta

I think men typically place more importance on appearance when looking for a partner than women do.

Obviously not all 20 somethings are more attractive than women in their 30/40s but some are. I feel terribly shallow/rude saying that, but I do think some men think like this sadly. (Also, I’m ‘young’ but unattractive - the average woman in their 40s would get much more attention that me)

Plus it’s more socially acceptable for a man to date someone younger 🤷‍♀️ If they’re not mature enough to settle down with kids etc in their 30s, they can delay it a bit, then find a younger partner.

I can think of plenty woman who place more importance on looks and appearance, and why not. I don't think women should settle for men who are physically unattractive to us, any more than men should.

Some older men want younger women specifically for their youth, for all the reasons already mentioned. But ime most want a physically attractive woman and that is higher priority than age. The physical characteristics men commonly find attractive are more frequently found in younger women, so this tends to appear to be a preference for youth, but where an older woman has them and a younger one doesn't, the older one will generally be preferred. I often socialise in groups of women age mid 20s to 50s and see this happen a lot.

@DelphineMarineaux

My thoughts are: I don't care what men want, especially older men. The world doesn't revolve around them and their wants. I care more about my own wants...and how older men definitely don't meet them...

I love this. Excellent point and perfectly made.

I wonder if you're more likely, as a woman, to go for looks when you're going. I met dh in my 20s and was totally sold on looks. Age, prospects, education weren't as important in taste in music and night clubs. Friends who found partners in their 30s were more interested in stability and prospects.

Of course, there's also a theory that being on the pill alters who you find attractive and presumably younger women are more likely to be on it.

*coun wsellor

CounsellorTroi that is true. It is far better biologically for 2 16 year old to have a child than say 2 30 year olds. However society puts huge pressures on individuals to comply to what is deemed acceptable.
For example it is perfectly fine in Afghanistan for a 50 year old married father to mate with a 12 year old girl. Here we find it abhorrent but that is society which tells us so, not biology. Due to the misogynistic, patriarchal environment in which the females in Afghanistan have to live, the opposite is not allowed. It is not the case that a 12 year old girl finds a married 50 year old father absolutely drop dead gorgeous. It is the fact that she either accepts it or dies.
I’m using this as an example to show how we do not live in a vacuum, we all adhere to societal norms whatever they may be.

@Slipperfairy

I do wonder whether an older man would prefer an attractive, slim 40yr old, or an unattractive, overweight 25 yr old.

Someone must have done an experiment somewhere on this.

I think whichever reflects best on him. The one that people are more surprised he pulled??

But im a woman. I think the older but more attractive woman makes him look better but is that what his peers think?
Who knows. Who cares.
As a pp says, what men want isnt what men get. Same goes for us women.

I think quite a few divorced men in their say 40s are pretty eager not to have any more kids, so for that reason alone are often inclined to avoid (many) women in their 30s.

But in general, yes, men on average care more about looks than women so on average have a somewhat stronger preference for younger partners. The average woman doesn't particularly age better or worse than the average man, but the differing value placed on looks is important.

I’ve found having a smaller window age wise in dating app settings works well. I’ve dated since my late thirties and am in my forties now and always put my upper and lower limits a couple years younger and 8 or so older. As a result, the men who contact me are generally in my age range. Never had an issue meeting a man around my age five or take a year or two higher or lower and certainly not had men way older than me contact me. Currently dating someone 5 years older, previous to that 3 years older.

Most of the men i’ve met would hate dating a twenty something and never have (past being in their twenties themselves!). So my experience is totally different to this idea guys over 40 are after young women.

@5128gap

Some older men want younger women specifically for their youth, for all the reasons already mentioned. But ime most want a physically attractive woman and that is higher priority than age. The physical characteristics men commonly find attractive are more frequently found in younger women, so this tends to appear to be a preference for youth, but where an older woman has them and a younger one doesn't, the older one will generally be preferred. I often socialise in groups of women age mid 20s to 50s and see this happen a lot.

But I wonder (as I said earlier on,) why men in their 40s and 50s seem to think that they are so sexy and hot and desirable, that they can easily snare a woman 15-20 years younger, but they think that women in their own age group are repugnant?

I also agree with @Soso7 that many men want slim women - preferably thin/underweight, (even if their previous partner/wife was fat.) And they often don't care what her face is like - OR her personality, as long as she is thin.

I have met many a man - including an old boss, my BFF's brother, and an older cousin of mine, who prefer a thin woman - not slim, or athletic, or even curvy, just THIN, or even skinny. They don't care what their face is like, OR their personality, as long as they're thin/skinny.

@TheQueef

I think it mostly depends on naivete. Typically the older we get the higher the bar is and the tolerance for any fuckery lowers. So older men go for inexperienced younger women because they couldn't get anywhere with older, wiser women.

That really isn’t why men go for younger women.

Firstly, it’s an instinctive biological choice. Men can always, pretty much, father children. Women can’t.

Also, men are very visual when it comes to sexual attraction. Youthful looks are attractive, hence why blonde hair is so popular.

I think an awful lot of men enjoy having a compliant partner. Biologically speaking a small age gap would have been useful in the past.

Having been in a LTR with a man significantly older than me, I have no tolerance for it and question it openly.

@ZealAndArdour

Couldn’t give a flying fuck what older men want or like.

I like the cut of your jib!

Certainly when I was in my 20s a number of my peer group were happy to date older men, often citing maturity, old school manners

Im a woman who prefers older men.

The ones i have dated are.............21 years older than me.......hospital porter.
23 years older than me. Care worker (DH) he was an engineer before that but had an accident at work back in 1990.
17 years older than me ...................delivery driver.
Its nothing to do with money or status. Just the fact that when i was younger men my age treated me like crap.

My daughter's dad, he's 46 and I'm 28.