Do most older men prefer younger women?

[Chippingbird23]

Just wondering as woman what your thoughts are? Do you find it harder to date in 30’s or 40’s or have you found ‘true’ love later in life?

@Dacquoise

If it's an evolutionary/biological drive in men, how comes so many suffer from ED when they hit middle age?

Well I'm not there yet so I can only surmise but I imagine it's three things, failing health, testosterone dropping and having partners that no longer really turn them on. As a man you can't fake it 'til you make it like women, it's either happening for you or it isn't.

Well some might, but I'm having no difficulties getting dates with men my own age and a bit younger. I'm 51 and don't want anyone older than 53 really, so far have only had dates with men in their 40s. My last bf was 2 years older than me. Most of the men I meet want common points of reference, and for the women to be at the same stage in life. They don't want more kids.

While I'm sure some middle aged men must think about going out with really young women, most of the ones I know have daughters that age and think it's a bit yuck and are quite scathing of men who do that. I know someone who had an exit affair with a much younger women. She turned out to have a personality disorder and he really paid the price.

In any case, it's not down to the man is it - I can't really see why a normal woman in their 20s would want to go out with a 50 yo. Why would you?

@Thetigerdrankmywine,

This is something I wish 20somethings think about. In your case 10 years is not as bad as 20 years but given male health often declines faster it's definitely an issue.

I can understand why 20's women find slightly older men attractive perhaps it's because men do mature later- it can take men until 30 to fully mature however women in their 20s are looking to settle down so might go for older.. However by 40 any age difference become more pronounced as parties are at different life stages. One closer to retiring, the other in their prime.

I would really caution any younger woman to avoid a 20 year gap..a woman in her 40s is in her prime but her partner will be retiring. Have a fling but don't settle with such an age gap (yes, there are exceptions but generally age gaps are best avoided)

Older men seem to be delusional about their age and how they look. Women are socialised to take care of their appearance but men still believe they can be attractive despite taking no care of their skin,teeth or weight.

@Fireflygal, I second that. My DM ran off with a more sophisticated 'older ' man when she left my DF.

Older man turned into an old man with hip and knee replacements. She was still working full time while he lived at his club.

She traded him in for someone her own age.

[quote Fireflygal]@Thetigerdrankmywine,

This is something I wish 20somethings think about. In your case 10 years is not as bad as 20 years but given male health often declines faster it's definitely an issue.

I can understand why 20's women find slightly older men attractive perhaps it's because men do mature later- it can take men until 30 to fully mature however women in their 20s are looking to settle down so might go for older.. However by 40 any age difference become more pronounced as parties are at different life stages. One closer to retiring, the other in their prime.

I would really caution any younger woman to avoid a 20 year gap..a woman in her 40s is in her prime but her partner will be retiring. Have a fling but don't settle with such an age gap (yes, there are exceptions but generally age gaps are best avoided)

Older men seem to be delusional about their age and how they look. Women are socialised to take care of their appearance but men still believe they can be attractive despite taking no care of their skin,teeth or weight.[/quote]
I agree, some men look bloody awful, moobs, pot bellies, twig legs, ruddy skin.
Very badly fitting clothes.

I were a woman seeking a man I'd stick to Love island types. The average man is a mess.
🤣

I'm 50 & for the first time in my life, I'm turning heads! The ugly duckling is my spirit animal 😂

Men prefer younger women for one, simple reason - because they look better.

I'm in my mid-40s and have had an abysmal time with online dating. I have lied about my age and attracted plenty of men younger than me and the same age, as most people seem to think I look younger than I am. However, lying about your age is no way to start a relationship, so I wanted to be honest. Next time around I put my real age, and yes, all I got was 60-70+ - well, to be honest I only went on it for a day, but I just can't stand the whole thing. I think if you want to be honest about your age, dating online is not so good for mature women, much better to meet through social groups or friends in real life. Also, I've found younger men have automatically made the assumption (throughout my 30s) that I just want to get pregnant as soon as possible, despite the fact that I don't have and have never wanted kids. I find it really dehumanising to reduce yourself to a few stats on a screen, but it's good to hear it working out for other people. I guess it's one of those things you have to persist with for a while, looking for a needle in a haystack, but to be honest I'm not bothered enough and content to stay single.

God I hope not, I’m 51 and DH is a couple of years younger!

Actually he tells me he finds me more attractive now than he did in my early 20’s, I’m far more confident now!

Looks and age are only appealing for a short while though, there are many more factors to consider.

Have to admit though, I would hate to be in the dating game now, it’s a shallow old world!

I think that many people find young fit bodies and wrinkle free faces more attractive than the alternative, so it's not surprising that some people will try their luck with younger people on dating websites, especially if they're just looking for sex, rather than a relationship.

When I was 18-20 I had several relationships with men in their 30s, and often had to fend off unwanted attention from men in their 40s/50s, who I looked on as dirty old men. I still feel that way about men trying to shag women young enough to be their daughters, although I accept that some men are programmed that way and I doubt it will ever change. It's hard to say whether the majority of men prefer younger women, but my guess would be yes, for sex, but not necessarily for a life partner.

Absolutely impossible to meet anybody. Im 51. If i did OLD men my parents age would be m3ssaging me. Its all so pointless! Women obviously prefer the look of younger men too but they are realistic.

@gogohm
No, it's not ageist at all to assume that anyone over 70 needs a carer 🙄🙄🙄

@Thetigerdrankmywine

I have an older one. 10 years. It didn't seem like much in my 20s, but I'm a little worried about being 50 and having a 60 yr old dh. Or 60, still active, with a 70 yr old.

Kind of wishing I'd stuck closer to my own age, like my friends have. I can foresee quite a lonely old age.

15 year gap here, now 60 and 75. He is much fitter and more active than I am. Don't listen to the MN ageist doomsayers. Just both of you live as healthily as you can and enjoy your time together.

@SamW98

I'm 50 and soon realised OL dating is full of men in their mid 50's who want a woman aged maximum early 40's They seems to have magic mirrors as what they think of themselves compared to the reality is worlds apart

I find IRL men are more liable to speak to and date women more their own age whereas OL they seem to be more deluded

This is true.

I have heard tales from many women aged 45 to 58-ish, who go onto online dating... Most men roughly their age, want women a minimum of 15 years younger. As has been said by many on this thread, these men see themselves as hot, desirable, wise, and appealing mature men, who will surely attract women a generation younger. Most of them are balding, going grey, have pot bellies, are too hairy, and are boring and moany.

Unless a man is very wealthy, most women in their 20s and 30s are not going to be interested in a man old enough to be their father. I do wonder (as a few posters have said,) if men don't want women their age because they won't take any shit. But also, I think they want younger women, because they think they DESERVE younger women, (as they, themselves are so 'attractive' still!!!)

They see younger women as better than middle aged women, and they think they deserve them.

Also, for many men aged early 40s to late 50s; middle aged women are repugnant.

I am in my mid 50s, and although I am OK looking, I pretty much look my age (as almost everyone does.) I get young men (say, under 38,) being very polite and courteous with me, and older men (65+) being friendly, and nice to me.

The group in between, look at me like I am nothing. They don't even look me in the eye. They don't want to show any kind of friendliness towards me, in case I mistake it for them fancying me. Coz God forbid I think they fancy me. Why would they fancy an old biddy in her mid 50s, who is way past her sell by date? PMSL!

Men - especially middle aged men (early 40s to late 50s) are a funny breed. They truly believe that THEY are really appealing and attractive, especially to much younger women. Yet at the same time, they think women their age are repugnant. Bizarre!

As a few posters have said, if me and my DH were to split now, I would never EVER want another man. I mean, what would I get? A man of 65+, who will expect any woman he is with to be his bloody personal servant, and cook and clean for him and do his washing and ironing? Fuck that!!!

I remember one woman I know arranged to go on a date with a man she met online. She was 46 and he was 50. The first thing he asked is 'can you cook?' The next thing she did was cancel the date. She said 'if that's all he is interested in, he can fuck off.'

Even if I get a man my age, he will probably be a whinging, moany, grumpy old curmudgeon. Many men over 55 are!

Nah, fuck that. I would rather spend the next 35-40 years on my own (if I live that long!) rather than spend it with a grumpy, moany old man,!

Women have a more complex evolutionary prerogative, both to secure a good genetic partner but also someone to provide and protect long enough for the children to reach maturity

That’s making a huge assumption that in our evolutionary past women needed an individual man to provide and protect.

@nancydroo snap!

Read somewhere something along the lines of the following:

All ages of men fantasise about women in their early to mid twenties.

People tend to date about ten years either side of their own age, they tend to stay way from the further reaches of the “half your age plus seven” and use that gets bandied about online.

Later in life men tend to marry women between their own age and ten years younger.

[quote Angliski]@nancydroo snap![/quote]
Hi! Not all bad is it. It will do I suppose!

I remember one woman I know arranged to go on a date with a man she met online. She was 46 and he was 50. The first thing he asked is 'can you cook?'
To be fair I've had this from men in their twenties as well.

Yes

/thread

I’ve noticed it first hand today. A couple of men (50+) were sulking because the 25 year old bar maid wasn’t giving paying them attention.

My daughter and son love her to bits. She gets them to collect the glasses for her. She gives them lots of attention for doing it as well.

I think older women are mostly too emotionally and financially secure to want to gamble on flaky guys their own age.

Yeah, my ex was 10 years older than me. He is now mid 50s. From what he says his last few girlfriends have been in their early 30s.

A female friend in her very early 40s was on OLD and specifically said she does not want kids (nor have any). She only got contacted by men in their 60s and over. So it’s not just men avoiding women that age for fear of being ‘pinned down’ for last chance saloon kids.

If I were looking, I can’t imagine I’d be interested in anyone more than 10 years younger than I am.

Couldn’t give a flying fuck what older men want or like.

I started dating again in my 40s. I got a lot of interest from younger men and several of dds friends actually!!
I met my dh, we are the same age and we are truly happy. Dh has said that he could never be with a much younger woman, it holds no appeal to him. Likewise I could not care an older man.
What a lot of women tell me they find off putting is a man 45 plus with young children, women don't want that at all. In fact 2 of my divorced friends met and married younger men, both men were childless and that was definitely a bonus for both my friends.
Old men fathering children is a turn off, sorry to be blunt.