My life rules

[54321nought]

Things life has taught me

1. Never never never eat white bread, or feed it to children, it just changes to sugar in your body, it is poison!

1. Never never never support slave based industry, eg cannabis, clothing made with child labour, UNNESSESARY TECH UPGRADES, like replacing perfectly good working phones for no reason

1. I'm sure I will think of more. Not much point in going into the environmental ones, like limit meat and diary, and never eat fish, don't drink bottled water etc, much debated elsewhere on Mumsnet

What are yours?

Wow. Just wow.

The only thing I also don't do is try not to drink bottled water, though occasionally it's unavoidable.

I must have failed miserably at life.

YABVVVU

@Sparklfairy

1. Don't have rules.

1. If you have some rules, don't preach them to others.
2. Develop resilience and humility when you inevitably break Rule 2 and it backfires.

🤣🤣🤣

Wins the thread so far!

Everything in moderation, including moderation itself.

@Hilda40

Try not to be a sanctimonious twat

😂😂😂

Don't give your dinner to the dog, he won't give it back.

Wow, most important thing about how to live your life is what bread you eat?

@Hilda40

Try not to be a sanctimonious twat

Can't argue with that reply.

If you bring it, you carry it. My mum's rule and a good one!

Always remember that opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has them but no ones interested in hearing yours.

@CharlieFarnsbarns123

Never get involved in a land war in Asia

And never invade Russia in the winter. Or at all, really - there's just an awful lot of it and your supply chains will be unsustainable.

I have achieved 100% compliance with this rule so far, but who knows what middle age will bring?

Anyway, you can only have marmite on white buttered toast.

I just had a delicious slice of white toast with lashings of salted butter.
You're a long time dead.

Rules....are made to be broken

And never invade Russia in the winter. Or at all, really - there's just an awful lot of it and your supply chains will be unsustainable.

I have achieved 100% compliance with this rule so far, but who knows what middle age will bring?

Well, 100%* of the people who've tried to invade Russia in winter have been middle-aged, so you never know....

(* probably, I haven't checked.)

My rule might be to remember that other people have got fuck all interest in my rules. (Nor should they).

I only buy my cannabis from a small local artisan producer. She only grows seasonal, local varieties and the funds from her endeavours help support her baby goat and llama sanctuary.

@Sparklfairy

1. Don't have rules.

1. If you have some rules, don't preach them to others.
2. Develop resilience and humility when you inevitably break Rule 2 and it backfires.

Brilliant

@Progress2019

Anyway, you can only have marmite on white buttered toast.

There's a rule I will happily break. Nutella belongs on buttered white toast!

Good point, @BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand. Maybe I should invest in some fur*-lined boots, on the off-chance?

*fake, obvs

1. Never trust a man in white trousers.

1. Small children should have bums on seats when eating or drinking

Do as you would be done by.

Also, tooth brushing and seatbelts are non negotiable in this house.

If you can only think of two things, OP, maybe the world just wasn't ready for your list of rules.

1. Try to be respectful and understanding of people even if you disagree with them (but that is not the same as always having to #bekind)
2. If you're asked to keep a secret, really, really keep it (child protection etc situations aside)
3. It's amazing how fabulously lovely, clever or brilliant people can be and also how mindblowingly cruel, incompetent or clueless they can be. You can't generalise and some people will always amaze you.
4. However anyone who says they are nice, easy-going, happy, or fun probably isn't.
5. Always under-promise and over-deliver.

Pride goeth before a fuck off fall.
This is also very, very true

@QueenPeary

1. Try to be respectful and understanding of people even if you disagree with them (but that is not the same as always having to #bekind)

1. If you're asked to keep a secret, really, really keep it (child protection etc situations aside)
2. It's amazing how fabulously lovely, clever or brilliant people can be and also how mindblowingly cruel, incompetent or clueless they can be. You can't generalise and some people will always amaze you.
3. However anyone who says they are nice, easy-going, happy, or fun probably isn't.
4. Always under-promise and over-deliver.

Pride goeth before a fuck off fall.
This is also very, very true

Can I use your rules please @QueenPeary? I like these. Also loving many of the replies here. I needed cheering up!

My toast rules are that it must be under-toasted and then covered in real butter that soaks into the still-bready part. Other toppings/type of bread is open season.