He's using proposing to you as a weapon to hurt you with.
Think hard about that. About what you would like any proposal, or discussion about a proposal, to feel, within your relationship. And how different the actual conversation regarding proposal feels. This would be reflected in the marriage. You would expect it to feel all sorts of good, and then he'll surprise you by using the fact that you chose to marry him as a weapon.
he believes I shouldn’t be upset by this
Nobody, NOBODY gets to tell you that your feelings are wrong.
Boundaries 101: You tell the person calmly that when they do x, you feel bad/sad/mad/whatever emotion. Then guage what to do next by their response. If they keep doing it, distance yourself from them, because that behaviour is more important to them than you feeling ok. That's it. Your feelings don't have to be logical or sensible, you don't have to control anybody or talk over and over difficult things.
Think about a really illogical feeling, like being scared of spiders. A respectful partner will get rid of any spider they see in the house, and never mention it, so that you don't get unsettled. An unrespectful partner will see a spider and say 'It can't harm you, you sort it out, you're just being stupid.'
There's no right or wrong with feelings. You just have to get on with having them, choose a mature response to them (and that's not 'trying to silence them') and surround yourself with people who welcome or at least accept your emotional self as is.
This man, however wonderful you think he is, is making you upset repeatedly and knowingly. He is then blaming you for your response to him, which compounds your upset. He knows this, and does it all the same. Unless you want to try to control him so that he doesn't do this any more, distance is your only option.
Loving partners don't say 'You're upset? That's your own fault.' It's very callous. You must be able to see that?